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YAGT: I like a married woman. Anyone have experience with this?
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BillyBatson
Diamond Member
none. i never knew anyone who married a girl rightbefore leaving for basic training (boot camp) and i never new anyone who got married right before being deployed (we were only deployed 3 months at a time anyway). Most people i knew who got married did so while on base after tech school or within their first 2 years
BillyBatson
Diamond Member
i updated the OP
I had to register to this forum to make this reply....
If a guy ever did what you are doing to my wife, I would put his head through a brick wall. No joking either, he would be hospitalized and I surely would do some jail time if caught. What she is doing is no better either, but certain things are off limits.
If a guy ever did what you are doing to my wife, I would put his head through a brick wall. No joking either, he would be hospitalized and I surely would do some jail time if caught. What she is doing is no better either, but certain things are off limits.
dug777
Lifer
From your comments in this thread i suspect she sees you as a good friend and no more...but just to make sure i suggest you call her right now and say 'i want you on my face, my place, 15mins'.
...either as you believe you'll be having crazy spider sex within the half hour, or she'll be be shocked, shocked i tell you, to discover that one of her best friends was such a grubby little perv...
😉
...either as you believe you'll be having crazy spider sex within the half hour, or she'll be be shocked, shocked i tell you, to discover that one of her best friends was such a grubby little perv...
😉
BillyBatson
Diamond Member
what am i doing? other than i have feelings for her i have not done anything wrong. and if your wife ever did that to you, you better put her head through a brick wall and not the guys. For all you know the guy was lied to and thought she was single. Also the guy walking away from yoru wife and never touching her or anything wouldn't change the fact that your wife wanted to cheat on you or doesn't want to be with you. You beating up the guy only serves to repair your bruised ego and pride.
oh and it's awesome you registered just for this! lol i appreciate your input and hopefully you will stick around the forums
BillyBatson
Diamond Member
wait so her telling me she would date me if she was single, asking me if i would be willing to date her if things didn't work out with her guy and if she can come to me, calling me at 3am just to talk cuz she missed me, getting jealous of me dating other girls (especially of the other salvi girl i am dating right now), and constantly telling me she finds me sexy and we have so much in common... all that means she sees me as just a good friend?! damn.... i guess all those are girls i considered good friends don't consider me one at all since they have never done any of this =
I don't see how the single guy can be at fault if a woman chooses to leave her husband/boyfriend. It's obviously not working out if she'd leave him, and she's the one with the "responsibility" to be faithful. I think children are the only reason you should avoid a relationship that you would want otherwise.
It doesn't mean that she would cheat on you, but there are definitely those people out there. I know a couple of them, unfortunately.
It doesn't mean that she would cheat on you, but there are definitely those people out there. I know a couple of them, unfortunately.
But this marriage is obviously not working out. Now I don't think he should sleep w. her until they are seperated or something but he's not the cause of their problems. This woman obviously does not see herself having a happy life w. her husband and if that's true, then she should leave him. If the original poster and her want to get it on after that, that's their right.
And dude, holidays are over. Talk to her and give us updates. 🙂
MercenaryForHire
Lifer
Wuss. Hit it like you're being paid for it. 😛
- M4H
- M4H
What if the husband and her are really trying to work it out? Does it help that you keep talking to her? Do you badmouth her husband together? Do you tell her how she can do better? I refuse to believe you have altruistic motives and only care about her happiness. You care that you are both happy and you really want that to mean being together. Lust will make you do bad things.
I had a situation somewhat similar once, although it involved kids. She was much older and a boss of mine during the summer. It started with emails and got to the point where she was telling me she liked me and hated her husband. I got nervous and backed out at the prospect of her showing up at my door randomly with her two kids telling me how she left her husband. I knew I couldn't deal with that kind of guilt and knew that she already has a life that she's chosen, whether she's happy or not. It's not my business to interfere.
Lastly, cheaters do continue to cheat. My father cheated on his first wife. He then cheated on my mother, at least once. The final cheat happened when I finally turned 18 and he felt less guilty about being open about it. I guess he was only with my mom for me. He then married the girl he cheated on my mother with. I'm not sure if he ever cheated but I heard rumors about a girl in Colorado. I know he vacationed to Colorado without his current wife and stayed there for six months and threatened to never come back.
You see, people who cheat do so for many different reasons. My father always wanted something better and different. The next girl always provided that, at least awhile. The boss that wanted me wanted to be young and free again and for awhile I provided that (we quit communicating). Point is, this lady probably wants something other than you. You will provide what she needs for awhile and it will be over and she will be looking again. For as much as you believe that people change, they don't.
I had a situation somewhat similar once, although it involved kids. She was much older and a boss of mine during the summer. It started with emails and got to the point where she was telling me she liked me and hated her husband. I got nervous and backed out at the prospect of her showing up at my door randomly with her two kids telling me how she left her husband. I knew I couldn't deal with that kind of guilt and knew that she already has a life that she's chosen, whether she's happy or not. It's not my business to interfere.
Lastly, cheaters do continue to cheat. My father cheated on his first wife. He then cheated on my mother, at least once. The final cheat happened when I finally turned 18 and he felt less guilty about being open about it. I guess he was only with my mom for me. He then married the girl he cheated on my mother with. I'm not sure if he ever cheated but I heard rumors about a girl in Colorado. I know he vacationed to Colorado without his current wife and stayed there for six months and threatened to never come back.
You see, people who cheat do so for many different reasons. My father always wanted something better and different. The next girl always provided that, at least awhile. The boss that wanted me wanted to be young and free again and for awhile I provided that (we quit communicating). Point is, this lady probably wants something other than you. You will provide what she needs for awhile and it will be over and she will be looking again. For as much as you believe that people change, they don't.
BillyBatson
Diamond Member
If they were trying to work it out that would be fine but they aren't trying anything. The husband things everything is peachy as it always has been while she is just indiffrent to the whole thing. I suppose if she does have something for me that her and i talking is def not helping their marriage because if her and i were not talking she may be willing to try more in her marriage seeing as there is no immediate other options (unless she goes for just anyone else). But us talking doesn't do harm either sine we are just friends.
We do NOT badmouth her husband, in the 1.5 years i have been speaking to her she has hardly EVER spoken about her husband, she has told me basics here and there or i have asked her questions after hearing negative things (this was in a previous post but i realize there are 5 pages now) but she almost never bring shim up, when we tlak or hang out she might aswell be single. She also doesn't like to complain so all negative thigns she doesn't bring up.
I do NOT tell her she can do better. After her telling me negative thigns i have told her that's wrong and she needs to talk to him about it and express how she feels but i have never said she can do better or hinted that she would be better off without him.
it's nice that you don't believe me that i care about our friendship and her happiness but all my actions and words directly to her say otherwise.
That sucks about your dad and i am sorry. but perhaps that was just his personality? a cheating one, like you said always looking for something better or different. What if this girl isn't looking for somethign better or different but for someone who is simply not her husband, to be with not just to escape from. What if she is looking for just me, unless there are lots of other me's out there, once she has me why would she cheat (if that was the case and she actually wants me). There is no evidense that a cheater will always cheat.
PricklyPete
Lifer
Seriously. Nothing in your post mentions how you'd be ruining her relationship with her husband and likely with her family...all you care about is how it would affect you. You suck at life.
BillyBatson
Diamond Member
bboth pics of us were when we had just starting getting close over a year ago, the first pic was at our company xmas party, the 2nd pic at the LA car show, both events, and both pics were taken about 10 feet away from her fiance
zinfamous
No Lifer
Simply put: you can't do anything while she's still hitched. Say you convince her to leave her husband, then you guys start dating...what if she cheats on you, one of you turn out not to be as cool as advertised? In that situation, you forced a woman to leave her husband for a wasted relationship. (This is a what-if, but it's a real possibility)
Say you cheat with her while she's married. You will have no power, be waiting at home, ignoring your friends, so that you can catch the fewer and fewer phone calls that you get in order to spend the random hours that you can with her. Then the husband finds out...and now 3 lives are ruined. Good job.
Your best-bet is to let him do somehitng, or let that relationship kill itself if it's meant to. If that happens, and you do start dating and find that she isn't all that...then no one gets terribly destroyed over it.
Say you cheat with her while she's married. You will have no power, be waiting at home, ignoring your friends, so that you can catch the fewer and fewer phone calls that you get in order to spend the random hours that you can with her. Then the husband finds out...and now 3 lives are ruined. Good job.
Your best-bet is to let him do somehitng, or let that relationship kill itself if it's meant to. If that happens, and you do start dating and find that she isn't all that...then no one gets terribly destroyed over it.
Everything I am about to say presumes that you want a long term (maybe marriage) relationship from her.
Very simple. Tell her that you would love to date her...
if she were single. Tell her she needs to out her husband before you will even consider dating her.
There are two reasons for this:
1) Otherwise she will probably always stay with her husband since there is no incentive for her to dump him. Unless she is caught - at which point who knows what would happen.
2) Cheating on your spouse speaks volumes about someone's character. She made a life long commitment to him and blantently disregarding it is not something to be overlooked.
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