I'd ask to have her forward me a copy of this email shes talking about. If she didnt produce it in 24 hours, we'd be through. I think her story is BS myself.
Do yourself a favor and write her off now. Why would she go to school so far away if she wasn't planning on screwing around?
Long distance relationships suck. You never know what is truly going on because it is way to easy for either party to lie.
Long distance relationships suck. You never know what is truly going on because it is way to easy for either party to lie.
I think her story smells like BS. She shouldve came right out and told you about this email instead of playing games.
Yeah, why won't she tell you who sent it? Pure games and shenigans from somebody you plan to spend the rest of your life with? Lies will kill a relationship quicker than anything.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
This is why game playing doesn't work. You have to trust a partner or just not care one way or another what they do (both methods works depending on what the relationship is about).
While your g/f was attempting to merely solicit information from you, she could have set the ball rolling to the end of your relationship. Whoever your 'friend' was that sent that email probably knew this and perhaps even suggested this.
If you have a problem with someone you should be able to ask them directly. Usually the only time another was reason to cover up things is when the asker gets irate and irrational over petty things.
While your g/f was attempting to merely solicit information from you, she could have set the ball rolling to the end of your relationship. Whoever your 'friend' was that sent that email probably knew this and perhaps even suggested this.
If you have a problem with someone you should be able to ask them directly. Usually the only time another was reason to cover up things is when the asker gets irate and irrational over petty things.
Women are strange like that, playing games instead of asking you straight up, BECAUSE IF YOU ASKED HER IF SHE WAS CHEATING ON YOU and all you had was a rumor by some random email, she knows she'd be pissed and assumed you'd be the same. Still, IMHO i think she should have given you the benefit of the doubt unless she had something solid or material to go on.
"So bad communication equals relationship problems."
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^BOLD UNDERLINE SIZE 72 FONT!!!! omg burn this into your forehead or something, you hit the nail on the head yourself. You were nothing but straight up and honest with her and SHE was the one playing games to get you to admit you cheated! Dood, if one of your buddies said she was cheating what would you do? ask her right? OF COURSE! You wouldn't play games and get drunk and pretend you might have cheated of whatever. You need to ditch her. There's no WAY she's good marriage material.
EDIT: I'm sure you love her or you wouldn't be engaged, and maybe you won't ditch her but at the very least you have to talk to her about how she handled this situation. If this is how she handles all your (alledged) relationship problems you aren't going to be happy for very long.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^BOLD UNDERLINE SIZE 72 FONT!!!! omg burn this into your forehead or something, you hit the nail on the head yourself. You were nothing but straight up and honest with her and SHE was the one playing games to get you to admit you cheated! Dood, if one of your buddies said she was cheating what would you do? ask her right? OF COURSE! You wouldn't play games and get drunk and pretend you might have cheated of whatever. You need to ditch her. There's no WAY she's good marriage material.
EDIT: I'm sure you love her or you wouldn't be engaged, and maybe you won't ditch her but at the very least you have to talk to her about how she handled this situation. If this is how she handles all your (alledged) relationship problems you aren't going to be happy for very long.
Fingolfin269
Lifer
- Feb 28, 2003
- 17,948
- 34
- 91
Yup, spoken like a guy. Hell, I feel the same way. It's sad that girls don't think that way... in general.
PingSpike
Lifer
- Feb 25, 2004
- 21,765
- 614
- 126
This is strange. I'm not sure I buy this story. Do you have the forwarded copy of the email? Get it. Pick apart the headers, investigate further.
And demand to know why your girlfriend decided to play some game on you, based on an email from an apparent stranger, instead just coming out and being forthright. Who do you think did it?
This soap opera has my attention.
And demand to know why your girlfriend decided to play some game on you, based on an email from an apparent stranger, instead just coming out and being forthright. Who do you think did it?
This soap opera has my attention.
yeah as for the e-mail I don't buy it at all. If she got an email from someone she didn't know she shouldn't have even considered it. I would have written a serious flame back to whoever sent it, called my g/f and told her about the e-mail and how I trusted her. Are you sure she didn't open up an e-mail account and e-mail this to herself to avoid telling you who actually told her?
Another Update.
I said i was pretty sure i knew where the e-mail came from, so let me explain. A while back when i first moved to san diego i lived with this girl i knew, while her husband was on a 3 month business trip. Nothing happened between us and i think i posted about it before. She realized that she liked living with me better then her husband and a bucnh of other stuff. Anyways i moved out and moved in with my gf at the time, now my fiancee. Long story short is that the girl i used to live with is good friends with a girl that just got transfered to my office, who would know about me and that coworker. I am about 95% sure that the girl who just got transfered talked to the girl i used to live with and one or both of them decided to e-mail my fiancee. The timing and the information about me leads me to believe that someone i work with is involved but nobody at work has my fiancee's e-maill addy, however the girl i used to live with does.
Cliff notes: Wanna be Ex is jealous and tries to ruin my relationship with some help from one of my new co-workers.
I said i was pretty sure i knew where the e-mail came from, so let me explain. A while back when i first moved to san diego i lived with this girl i knew, while her husband was on a 3 month business trip. Nothing happened between us and i think i posted about it before. She realized that she liked living with me better then her husband and a bucnh of other stuff. Anyways i moved out and moved in with my gf at the time, now my fiancee. Long story short is that the girl i used to live with is good friends with a girl that just got transfered to my office, who would know about me and that coworker. I am about 95% sure that the girl who just got transfered talked to the girl i used to live with and one or both of them decided to e-mail my fiancee. The timing and the information about me leads me to believe that someone i work with is involved but nobody at work has my fiancee's e-maill addy, however the girl i used to live with does.
Cliff notes: Wanna be Ex is jealous and tries to ruin my relationship with some help from one of my new co-workers.
Good for you.
Definitely work on the communication during this time, and avoid the little-kid "let's see if I can get the other person to confess by playing mind tricks with them" games. It's just not worth it, and you'll save both of you a lot of time, trauma and stress by just being honest, up-front, and thorough.
Best wishes, let us know how it goes.
wow, this whole thing is crazy. If she would have told you about her suspicions to begin with it probably would've helped things a lot. But, nonetheless, I really hope that's all there is to it and things work out between the two of you. Good luck
Originally posted by: yovonbishop
wow, this whole thing is crazy. If she would have told you about her suspicions to begin with it probably would've helped things a lot. But, nonetheless, I really hope that's all there is to it and things work out between the two of you. Good luck
Things are going really good now. I am just waiting for work to say yes i can take the first 2 weeks of september off and then i will be buying my ticket. OOOHH poll time, which will be totoally off topic.
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