YAGT: Best Friend's newly ex-girlfriend wants a relationship with me

2Xtreme21

Diamond Member
Jun 13, 2004
7,044
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Update:
Yeah, don't do what I did. Mistake and a half. Will update with details later.

I spent a good 6 hours talking to her on MSN / phone the other night and every day since we've talked for a good period of time about everything. My friend was a tool to her, but that's because he had certain festering issues related to his previous relationship, so they called it quits rather violently (name calling, "f*ck you die," etc.), though all of it was from his end. She could be the first girl I've ever met that I have so much in common with... never really knew her before we started talking other than her being my friend's girlfriend.

She invited me over to her house tomorrow (tonight) to help her give out halloween candy and watch movies and such. I'm not looking at it as an opportunity to fall into a relationship with her, but I know she is from how she's been talking. This isn't to say that I wouldn't date her in a heartbeat, as the only reason I'm holding off is because of the high probability that I'll lose a best friend over it, and I definitely value my friends over a girl I only recently got to know.

Any ideas? I'm planning on going over to her house tomorrow regardless, but if it starts to escalate, should I let it? And what are the chances I could pull off a relationship with her without my friend even finding out?

Pics down a few posts
 

dbk

Lifer
Apr 23, 2004
17,685
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Sounds like she's on the rebound with her ex-boyfriend's best friend.
 

Brackis

Banned
Nov 14, 2004
2,863
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Honestly, if we can see a picture or two, we can make smart sweeping assumptions about her character and other assets, and thus good advice.

Pics now, then I'll post.
 

doze

Platinum Member
Jul 26, 2005
2,786
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How long ago was the breakup, if it was last week then she wants to bone you to make your friend mad. If it was 6 months ago then friend shouldn't really care. Still you must tell your buddy you want to bump uglies with his ex, if he says hell no then stay away otherwise it's free game. Not worth it losing a good friend over some girl you might like.
 

Kadarin

Lifer
Nov 23, 2001
44,296
16
81
Sounds like you'd be the rebound guy, at the cost of your best friend. If that's what you want, then go for it, I guess, but I'll be expecting another thread from you in a couple of months where you're wondering where it all went so horribly wrong...

On the other hand, your best friend could really be a tool, and this girl could end up being the love of your life and the mother of your children.
 

Kyle

Diamond Member
Oct 14, 1999
4,145
11
91
Originally posted by: thawolfman
Originally posted by: hypn0tik
Bros before hoes. Especially if he's a really good friend of yours.

:beer:

ya...stop ALL communication with her....or kiss your friendship goodbye...and I promise you after you roll off her you are going to really regret it.
 

2Xtreme21

Diamond Member
Jun 13, 2004
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Originally posted by: Brackis
Any better pics? Hard to judge her from a random webcam.

How long ago did they breakup?

Sorry, best I can do.

The official breakup was probably 5 days ago or so... it's been brewing for a few weeks, from what I gathered. Unfortunately, as I said, my friend wasn't good to her at all. He'd start flipping sh*t if things weren't exactly as he wanted, and then expect me to take his side against her when she did nothing wrong. He was definitely the bad guy in all of this. Not saying that to discount a friendship, but saying it is as a matter of fact.
 
Dec 4, 2002
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Originally posted by: 2Xtreme21
Originally posted by: Brackis
Any better pics? Hard to judge her from a random webcam.

How long ago did they breakup?

Sorry, best I can do.

The official breakup was probably 5 days ago or so... it's been brewing for a few weeks, from what I gathered. Unfortunately, as I said, my friend wasn't good to her at all. He'd start flipping sh*t if things weren't exactly as he wanted, and then expect me to take his side against her when she did nothing wrong. He was definitely the bad guy in all of this. Not saying that to discount a friendship, but saying it is as a matter of fact.

Really, who cares why it ended. It's a simple fact of life, bros before hoes. If you go out with her then obviously this kid isn't much of a friend to you in your eye, or you're just a jackass.
 

Cuhulainn

Senior member
Jan 26, 2006
365
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Originally posted by: 2Xtreme21

Any ideas? I'm planning on going over to her house tomorrow regardless, but if it starts to escalate, should I let it? And what are the chances I could pull off a relationship with her without my friend even finding out?

What?! You say this is a best friend, yet you are considering going behind his back?! The chances are 100% that you will lose a "best friend" and about 90% that the relationship with this girl will end up badly. You gotta let things cool off first. Then you talk to your friend. Then, and only then, can you consider this girl.

Bad news.
 

Kelvrick

Lifer
Feb 14, 2001
18,422
5
81
Back off for a few weeks. If it stays the same, tell the bud about it and see what he thinks. Don't go behind him like this though.