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YAGT: Best Friend's newly ex-girlfriend wants a relationship with me

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I had a situation like this when I was younger, and I actually confronted the guy involved and essentially asked him if he cared whether I dated this chick he broke up with. He said "go for it". I did. Had our fling, and the two of them eventually got back together and got married.

She was obviously still in love with the guy, and he later realized he wanted her. I was in the Navy at the time and left on a six month cruise. During that cruise, I got the *letter* that he was starting to call her again. She was confused. She then told me she thought it was possible to love two guys at once. Doh!

Long story long: She got married to him during this six month cruise. I was pissed at her, of course. So, she's married, and wants to see me when I get back from the cruise, and we meet clandestinely. She wants to fool around! I indulge for a few minutes, then come to my senses and tell her I can't "do this". Never saw her socially again, save for at a High School reunion some years later. Just pleasantries for/from all at that point.


Your mileage may vary. Be forewarned.
 
You know you're going to hit it. Nothing that has been said will stop you. With that said, hit quick and as many times as possible.
 
Originally posted by: Corporate Thug
man rule: never date bestfriends ex...no matter how hot
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actually the law was amended to state if she is very hot, then a period of 6 months is required.
 
Originally posted by: 2Xtreme21
I spent a good 6 hours talking to her on MSN / phone the other night and every day since we've talked for a good period of time about everything. My friend was a tool to her, but that's because he had certain festering issues related to his previous relationship, so they called it quits rather violently (name calling, "f*ck you die," etc.), though all of it was from his end. She could be the first girl I've ever met that I have so much in common with... never really knew her before we started talking other than her being my friend's girlfriend.

She invited me over to her house tomorrow (tonight) to help her give out halloween candy and watch movies and such. I'm not looking at it as an opportunity to fall into a relationship with her, but I know she is from how she's been talking. This isn't to say that I wouldn't date her in a heartbeat, as the only reason I'm holding off is because of the high probability that I'll lose a best friend over it, and I definitely value my friends over a girl I only recently got to know.

Any ideas? I'm planning on going over to her house tomorrow regardless, but if it starts to escalate, should I let it? And what are the chances I could pull off a relationship with her without my friend even finding out?

Pics down a few posts
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nevermind the pics, dont' need to see it, answer would be no.
 
your the revenge/rebound guy

jus tell her that shes smokin hot, but you dont wanna screw your buddy over and you dont wanna rush into this especially if she is just after some kind of sympathy shag.

if in a few weeks your friend ceases to care and she still digs you then it will be a better time to go for it.

if you hold off now, and put your mate first she will probably respect you a whole lot more as a man
 
I'll echo others sentiments...bros before hoes. Not worth it.
 
Just take it easy for awhile, just friends. If you decide to get more serious later, tell your friend first. But from the sound of it, he won't like it too much. Who cares... if the girl is great, then it's his problem that he can't get along with you still.
 
The fact that you're considering doing it behind his back makes you a horrible friend, which probably means that no matter what we say, you're going to go do this behind his back. The positive is that you'll get what you deserve when you find out that she used you to fill her loneliness and to get back at your friend. Then you'll have neither of them and realize what a tool you've been. The fact that you guys barely knew each other before the breakup just confirms the girl's motivations.

Also, cut out this garbage about after a couple of phone conversations you realized that she gets you like no girl ever has. If that's true, it's because you don't talk to many girls, and the reason why you're so desperate as to sneak around with this girl makes more sense. It doesn't excuse your behavior, but I can at least understand your motivations.

If you're really so out of it as to believe that a girl you barely know who broke up with your best friend 5 days ago could be a healthy long term relationship for you (i'm assuming you don't think a few sexual encounters is worth a friendship), be a man and go tell your best friend your intentions. You don't have to ask permission or anything, but as a friend you would tell him that you were about to embark on something which could cause him a lot of pain.
 
We're going to tell you not to go, or, if you do, to make it clear that you won't pursue anything. It's a bad idea, she's on the rebound, she's going to dump you, and, for one (and a big one) one of your best friends is sick enough of her sh!t to say some awful things.

And you're going to go anyway. We'll see a post in a few weeks about how she led your sorry ass on.

Welcome to ATOT.
 
if you had any honor you would hara-kiri yourself by even thinking about doing this...you and that chick are skandelous...thats just my opinion tho.

 
I'd like to suggest immediate escalation.
You can clean up the mess later. At least that's the way I do it.
Drama is fun.
 
Originally posted by: Kyle
Originally posted by: thawolfman
Originally posted by: hypn0tik
Bros before hoes. Especially if he's a really good friend of yours.
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:beer:
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ya...stop ALL communication with her....or kiss your friendship goodbye...and I promise you after you roll off her you are going to really regret it.
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never ditch your friends. Girls comes and goes. Friends are around much, much longer.
 
Bro's before hoes is number #1, then secondly you need to approach him about this
if it matters that much to you..

and thirdly and most importantly this girl is on the rebound and trying to hurt your friend...
by dating you.. plain and simple.. i'd stay away... but it never hurts to ask ur friend...
if you can hit it and quit it..

but ur wasting ur time and emotions catching feelings for this girl.. that broke up with ur boy no more
than a week ago...
 
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