YAGT: Am I right to feel weird about this?

[Deeko]

It's not a total disaster, but she could go alone or with a group of female friends.

She can't. She's not in the ROTC. If she were, I could go.

What ROTC is your girlfriend in, anyway?

She's not, the guy is.

and i hate to say it but i odn't know how people can date hypocrites. as in, when they get mad at you for doing the same thing but expect you to be understanding about it...tha'ts just st00pid to me

It used to piss me off, alot, but its something she's getting better with.

There is another dance in question, too. If you've ever read my other threads about her, you might recall that she has foster parents, and thus she has like a social worker or something that she has to talk to about getting money from the state, and whatever her parents would be required to do for her that her foster parents aren't. Basically, she has become friends with this lady, and her son is a senior in high school. He goes to a different school, she doesn't know him, or anyone from the school. She hasn't directly said she wants to go to that one, but she has mentioned 4 times in the past week "haha its funny, becky keeps telling me that her son needs a date to their christmas dance and that she told him I'm really pretty and that I should go". This, I am really not cool with. Its not a gathering of friends. Maybe she is just bored and needs something to do, but I'm really really not comfortable with her essentially being set up on a blind date. I'm hoping she understands this and doesn't even ask about that one.

 

[Nitemare]

There are a LOT of guys at her school that are after her. I don't know for sure but I'm pretty sure this guy is one of them.

I'd let her go after I had a talk with him and introduced him to my gun collection as well as showed the torture devices in my dungeon...

j/k about the torture devices.

I'd agree to let him her go only after I had a word with him.

High school boys..what's the old saying young, dumm and full of "seminal fluid" or something like that.



Personally, what I would do is to get to know here friends as well. Invite her and a group of friends up to the college and spend some time with them or go down to where she is and hang out with them. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is rough if that person does not fraternize with their mates other friends.

Friends are obviously very important to her. Let her know that what is important to her is important to you and she will love you even more for it. Good luck.

 

[Deeko]

Personally, what I would do is to get to know here friends as well. Invite her and a group of friends up to the college and spend some time with them or go down to where she is and hang out with them. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is rough if that person does not fraternize with their mates other friends.

I did get to know a bunch of her friends over the summer....specifically the one guy that I mentioned before she's hung out with(although I knew him a little before, as he went to my high school). She never wants to do anything with her other friends though, she doesn't really even hang out with them outside of school normally.

 

[Hammer]

I'd feel wierd, although I could see her point of view. I'd let her go, but I sure as sh*t wouldn't like it. 😉

 

[Deeko]

Talk to her about it again today. She seemed kinda suprised, I don't think she expected me to let her go so easily, last night she seemed really guilty about wanting to go. So as of right now, she is going to tell they guy they can go as friends...and I asked her about the other dance that she kept hinting about, she said she doesn't want to go to that one, which is good, cause I would have been upset if she had.

 

[eakers]

this kind of sounds like a move to make you jealous...

in any case, i have tons of guy friends but i would not ever go to a dance with a guy who i know likes me if i have a boyfriend, just out of respect for him.

i think you did the right thing by letting her make the choice wether or not she should go.

 

[Maverick]

just let her go. Jealousy and trust issues are never ending. I'm a very jealous person and my gf gets pissed at me all the time because of it. I got cheated on by an ex (with my best friend at the time) since then I've had MAJOR trust issues. You dont' want to go down this road...you end up looking like an ass about 80% of the time. Just let her go. If she cheats on you just take it as she wasn't happy with the relationship and she's too weak to communicate that to you. There's really no point worrying about it.

 

[Jzero]

Trust aside, when I was in HS I had a guy from another school ask a girl I was dating to go to this or that dance "just as friends" b/c he didn't have a date. Not once out of 3 times did she come back that night complaining about how he was all over her the whole night, kept trying to kiss her, "Oh, your bf will never find out. What's the harm?" and all that crap.
Guys never ask girls on dates just to have someone to sit next to during dinner.

It's not about not trusting her, it's about wondering why the hell she would want to put herself in a position that will in the end make you upset, and her uncomfortable as she tries to fend off the advances of a drooler who just can't get the hint ever since he was given the time of day. At the end of the day, nobody is happy.

Once at a party my gf and I met this guy who suddenly took a liking to my girlfriend. He was a friend of a mutual friend, and while I was standing right there, he asks my gf for her number "so that he can call her up and ask for Steve's number." What a retarding fvcking ploy! The worst part is, SHE GAVE IT TO HIM! I dunno if it's b/c after the past 6 hours of drinking she wasn't thinking clearly or what!

Anyway, he kept calling and calling her, but she wouldn't do anything about him. I eventually had to tell her "Tell him to stop calling you, or I'll tell him myself. You say you don't even like him, yet you continue to give him the time of day. What gives? You're either giving HIM the wrong message (that you're interested in him, when you're not) or you're giving ME the wrong message (that you're not interested in him, when you are), and either way it's got to stop."

He hasn't called in nearly 2 years. Yay.

Maybe she doesn't realize that going with him represents an acceptance that there may be something more than just friendship like my gf? Who knows.

 

[Deeko]

Yea, its the other guy that I worry about, not her. But I don't want to make the decision for her, and I left it up to her, and it seems she has chosen to go. Well...I guess we'll see if my trust is well-founded or not.

 

[deerslayer]

I wouldn't be happy about it either, but you're doing the right thing by letting her decide.

Jealousy=suck 🙁

 

[linuxboy]

you westerners and your odd social orders...

Oh well.


Deeko, mate, the wise and venerable gopunk has spoken.

Allow me to reiterate djheater:

yep.


Cheers ! 🙂

just know why the caged bird sings.

 

[ProvoVictor]

Say man, who really cares? Dump her and move on. Its not like your married. I mean really, what is college for if you cant nail 2 - 3 different girls in one week AT LEAST. Frat parties... heh, more like nail the nearest drunk hottie. Screw it, live free or else you'll back yourself into a "i have to stay with this girl" corner. Dude, nail her one more time and drop her.

 

[Deeko]

What? Why am I dumping her again? I don't think you know me very well, which is excusable since this is your 4th post. I have no qualms with staying with one girl. I have no desire to 'nail' 2-3 drunk girls a week. I'm quite happy with the one I've got.