Wow. My friend actually got married after 90 days...

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Veliko

Diamond Member
Feb 16, 2011
3,597
127
106
Impossible according to who? You really need to cut out on making generalizations. The parents of a friend started dating in June and got married in August on the same year. That was 40 years ago and they are still together.

Sometimes, people just meet the right one and they just click regardless of the time frame. There's nothing impossible about that.

It is impossible and the notion that people are suggesting otherwise is just utterly absurd.

You need to know someone before you can judge whether they are marriage material and you cannot do that in such a short time frame.
 

pcgeek11

Lifer
Jun 12, 2005
21,620
4,675
136
So how long did you "wait" before you got pregnant?

MotionMan

Well I didn't get pregnant. :p

Married in January, she was pregnant the end of April. We didn't use any Birth Control.

So you agree that is it not a good idea?

MotionMan

I never said it was for everyone. I only started in this thread to make a couple of points:
It isn't always a bad idea.
Some that date for years and marry fail miserably also.
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,123
12
81
Well I didn't get pregnant. :p

Married in January, she was pregnant the end of April. We didn't use any Birth Control.

Wow. So you knew each other for about a year and were already parents together? Crazy.

I never said it was for everyone. I only started in this thread to make a couple of points:
It isn't always a bad idea.
Some that date for years and marry fail miserably also.

Would you guess that people who know each other for more than 90 days before getting married stay married, on average, longer or shorter than people who know each other for less than 90 days?

MotionMan
 

BoomerD

No Lifer
Feb 26, 2006
64,138
12,457
136
Wow. So you knew each other for about a year and were already parents together? Crazy.



Would you guess that people who know each other for more than 90 days before getting married stay married, on average, longer or shorter than people who know each other for less than 90 days?

MotionMan

Most of our friends in our youth had dated for at least a year, some for several years, before they got married. Of all the couples we knew...we're the only ones still married. Most of the couples we know today have at least one previously married member...some couples, both have been married numerous times previously.

I never got it myself...marriage is difficult enough the first time...why the fuck would anyone want to go through it more than once?
 

rh71

No Lifer
Aug 28, 2001
52,844
1,049
126
Getting married during the honeymoon phase of a relationship while you still get laid everyday is dumb as hell. They probably haven't even farted around each other yet. He'll have a wakeup call when he finally gets around to walking in the bathroom after she just dropped a big deuce.

wtf.. chicks don't do that shit!!! They also only wear bikinis, or aprons, depending on the situation. And they let you know when it's all ready for your taste test.
 

Qacer

Platinum Member
Apr 5, 2001
2,721
1
91
It is impossible and the notion that people are suggesting otherwise is just utterly absurd.

You need to know someone before you can judge whether they are marriage material and you cannot do that in such a short time frame.

So the opposite of this would be, you date a person for as long as you want before you get married and then you can live happily ever after. Well, care to explain why there are so many divorces? And these are not just couples who've dated for less than a year before getting married.

I attended a friend's wedding 3 years ago. They were high school sweethearts. They dated for about 8+ years before getting married. At that time, they were already done with college and were just beginning to establish their careers. Guess what? They are now going thru a divorce.
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,123
12
81
So the opposite of this would be, you date a person for as long as you want before you get married and then you can live happily ever after. Well, care to explain why there are so many divorces? And these are not just couples who've dated for less than a year before getting married.

I attended a friend's wedding 3 years ago. They were high school sweethearts. They dated for about 8+ years before getting married. At that time, they were already done with college and were just beginning to establish their careers. Guess what? They are now going thru a divorce.

Are you more or less surprised by that divorce versus a divorce of a couple who knew each other for 90 days before getting married?

MotionMan
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,123
12
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I know more about them than you do.

And they are still together, which says something.

No matter how much you think you know about a couple, you simply do not know.

For example, you do not know if they are happy. You may think that they LOOK happy, but that is not the same thing as BEING happy.

MotionMan
 

OverVolt

Lifer
Aug 31, 2002
14,278
89
91
No matter how much you think you know about a couple, you simply do not know.

For example, you do not know if they are happy. You may think that they LOOK happy, but that is not the same thing as BEING happy.

MotionMan
These are the fake couples that put on a good show because both are the social type. It's fake, so who knows if they actually get along or if they both just play games. It would be a miserable marriage to play games the entire time without actually knowing if the other party involved is being fake or not.

You can spot the fake type easily, its when two attention seekers go out with each other.
 

Qacer

Platinum Member
Apr 5, 2001
2,721
1
91
Are you more or less surprised by that divorce versus a divorce of a couple who knew each other for 90 days before getting married?

MotionMan

It depends. Really, it does not matter if both type of couples are married for a long time. At this point, any divorce would be surprising.

Would you find it more surprising if a couple who have dated for a while before getting married get a divorce after 3 years of marriage? Or would you find it surprising that a couple who married in less than 90 days of knowing each other are still together after 10 years?

If you say both are surprising, then the idea that getting married in less than 90 days or getting married after dating for a few years can produce the same results. Just because you think an apple tastes good doesn't mean that it tastes the same to another person.
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,123
12
81
It depends. Really, it does not matter if both type of couples are married for a long time. At this point, any divorce would be surprising.

Would you find it more surprising if a couple who have dated for a while before getting married get a divorce after 3 years of marriage? Or would you find it surprising that a couple who married in less than 90 days of knowing each other are still together after 10 years?

I do not find any couple divorcing all that surprising. I think a couple who married after knowing each other for 90 days staying married for more than a year is surprising.

If you say both are surprising, then the idea that getting married in less than 90 days or getting married after dating for a few years can produce the same results. Just because you think an apple tastes good doesn't mean that it tastes the same to another person.

I did not say both. So, what does that mean to you?

MotionMan
 

Qacer

Platinum Member
Apr 5, 2001
2,721
1
91
I do not find any couple divorcing all that surprising. I think a couple who married after knowing each other for 90 days staying married for more than a year is surprising.



I did not say both. So, what does that mean to you?

MotionMan

And thus, I proved my point. Just because I thought you would say "both" to my question, does not necessarily mean that I assumed correctly. The same way that you assumed that 90 days is a short time to get married may not necessarily be true at all to others.
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,123
12
81
And thus, I proved my point. Just because I thought you would say "both" to my question, does not necessarily mean that I assumed correctly. The same way that you assumed that 90 days is a short time to get married may not necessarily be true at all to others.

What is more surprising, EVERYTHING ELSE BEING EQUAL?

1. Couple gets married 90 days after meeting and is divorced 3 years later,

or

2. Couple gets married after dating for 3 years and is divorced 3 years later?

I am not all that surprised about any couple getting divorced, but, as between those two choices, EVERYTHING ELSE BEING EQUAL, the 90-day couple's divorce is less surprising.

Can people honestly say the 3-year couple's divorce is less surprising than the 90-day couple's divorce?

MotionMan
 

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
11
81
No matter how much you think you know about a couple, you simply do not know.

For example, you do not know if they are happy. You may think that they LOOK happy, but that is not the same thing as BEING happy.

MotionMan

They are obviously not unhappy enough to get divorced.
 
Oct 27, 2007
17,009
1
0
One of my brother-in-laws knew he wanted to marry his wife on their first date. Asked her at the end of it and they got married 3 months later. They've been together 16 years now. Had a friend who's brother met his wife in a cab on the way back from the airport. They got married a week later and have been together almost 20 years. I guess it just depends on the people.
No offense, but I don't believe either of these stories.
 

MotionMan

Lifer
Jan 11, 2006
17,123
12
81
They are obviously not unhappy enough to get divorced.

Again. You do not know.

Maybe they are in therapy. Maybe they could not bare the thought of admitting defeat. Maybe they are just too lazy to bother with divorce and can stand each other just enough to continue living their life as an apparently happy married couple. Maybe they cannot afford to get a divorce (you also do not know someones financial situation unless you have actually seen their records).

Do they have kids?

MotionMan
 

Qacer

Platinum Member
Apr 5, 2001
2,721
1
91
What is more surprising, EVERYTHING ELSE BEING EQUAL?

1. Couple gets married 90 days after meeting and is divorced 3 years later,

or

2. Couple gets married after dating for 3 years and is divorced 3 years later?

I am not all that surprised about any couple getting divorced, but, as between those two choices, EVERYTHING ELSE BEING EQUAL, the 90-day couple's divorce is less surprising.

Can people honestly say the 3-year couple's divorce is less surprising than the 90-day couple's divorce?

MotionMan

So let me expand upon your question:

Couple 1 = gets married 90 days after meeting.
Couple 2 = gets married after 3 years of dating.

With everything else being equal, this scenario applies to both:

During their 3rd wedding anniversary, the couple goes on an exotic adventure where upon they decide to rent two horses for an entire day. They explore this exotic place on horseback tasting every local cuisine and drinks. At the end of day, both get hammered silly by the strong local concoction. As a result, the wife's inner fantasy unleashes and she "mistakes" the horse for her husband. After the trip, the husband files for divorce citing irreconcilable differences.

With all things being equal, does it really make it more surprising whether this happened to Couple 1 or 2?

Frankly, I'd be more surprise to find out if the wife got the whole horse to fit in her.