Woman Uses Sperm from Oral Sex to Impregnate Self, Gets Child Support

[moshquerade]

during oral?

come on man!!!

:awe:

 

[highland145]

during oral?

come on man!!!

Is that like "Flame On?"


Dental dam.

In regard to safe sex practices, dental dams are most commonly recognized for their use during cunnilingus and analingus to protect against the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. After lubrication with water-based lubricant an unpunctured dental dam may be held over the vulva or anus, allowing oral stimulation of these areas without transmission of bodily fluids and skin contact.

:\The crap I know.:\

 

[Powermoloch]

during oral?

come on man!!!

I'm serious

/shows serious face

or

offer a cup of listerine or toothbrush w/ paste

 

[Duder1no]

Dental dam.

I figured I had to look what this looks like and this is what google image gave me:

 

[highland145]

I figured I had to look what this looks like and this is what google image gave me:

Babe thread. LOCK.

 

[JulesMaximus]

And the women haters come out in droves,...

They should just come all the way out and be done with it.

 

[iGas]

moral of the story:

wear condoms

Moral of the story, you lay in the bed you make.

 

[Lemon law]

The point is and remains, sperm is sperm, and its very possible and probable that sperm can withstand a brief stint in a female mouth. And since Mrs. Irons is also an MD, she could have added things to the test tube she spit into to prolong the viability of the sperm, And then waited days and days to reach peak fertility before using a syringe to inject in the sperm.

So the man could be telling the truth, but its still unprovable he said she said.

But still, the courts should and do hold the resultant child blameless. And when genetic testing proves he is the father, his daughter's right to have a father trumps the rights of the father.

 

[waggy]

You're at $100k, she's at $0 = $940 per month assuming no other benefits like insurance or alimony.

2 kids =$1260
3 kids =$1410

Mom love you.:wub: That's worth a truck load right there.

Edit: The Jeebus deluxe model.

hmm those numbers forget something. like the mother going and getting a fucking job?

child support is just that for the child. not for the mother to sit around on her ass and do nothing (that's alimony!)

 

[Fritzo]

I think the moral of the story is that men should get vasectomies until they are ready to have kids, and then have them undone.

Um...you know those are generally permanent, and reversing it is iffy, right?

 

[zerocool84]

I've heard of stories of guys throwing away the condom and women going in the trash and impregnating themselves with what was left in the condom. Some bitches really are crazy.

 

[highland145]

hmm those numbers forget something. like the mother going and getting a fucking job?

child support is just that for the child. not for the mother to sit around on her ass and do nothing (that's alimony!)

Agree but I wasn't going to do the work sheet with her income.

 

[shortylickens]

Did she watch that episode of Boston Legal?

 

[Joseph F]

Moral of the story: Don't have sex with crazy bitches.

 

[Patranus]

I've heard of stories of guys throwing away the condom and women going in the trash and impregnating themselves with what was left in the condom. Some bitches really are crazy.

Add some tabasco before you throw that shit away!

 

[lothar]

How much do you believe it takes to raise a single child? The court believes 800 in this case. What makes you believe it should be less? And if so, what figure would you put it at?

I believe 800 is probably still low in some situations given a child will consume housing, utilities, food, school supplies, clothing, sports, medical, toys and entertainment.

$800/month for 18 years for one child? Not anywhere close to that.
Housing cost is the same whether there is a parent and a child, or a parent alone. Your rent or mortgage doesn't automatically go up because there's one extra person living in it. Housing should be under alimony if anything, not a child care expense.

Utilities maybe, but I doubt it would make as much of a dent compared to some others listed below.
Food? Again, not much of a dent compared to some others listed below.

School supplies? I'm not sure how much school supplies are needed in elementary school(crayons, markers, and such), but I did middle/high school in the US. Biggest expense I remember was my mom paying $120 for a TI-83+ calculator in 9th grade Geometry which lasted me past Calculus I in 11th grade, college and beyond. A graphing calculator isn't an absolute necessity given the teachers at my middle/high school always passed them out in class anyway. Loose leaf papers, spiral notebooks, binders, pens, pencils are all minor expenses that can be had at Wal-Mart and other stores on the cheap. One doesn't need to waste money on an $8 "Five-Star" subject notebook.

Clothes? Not that expensive looking over the long term. Spending $200-300 on clothes during "back to school" shopping to last the entire school year where many states offer sales tax holiday may look big if you're looking at the individual single transaction, but if you're looking at it over a year, $200-300 out of $9600+ in total child support payments is pickles. This is like the GOP voting to cut NPR funding when Defense, Medicare, and SS are the big elephant in the room that need to be addressed to balance the budget.

Sports??? I played Soccer for my high school. The only expense I ever had to do was spending $30 for soccer cleats at Finish Line and a ball. It lasted me for the entire 3 years I used it. Do basketball players have any additional expense besides buying their own ball and tennis shoes? Cross country? How much is running shoes? Badminton/Tennis? How much is a tennis ball and a racket? Cheerleading is not a sport.

Medical? I agree on this part. Medical insurance premiums increases about(50-100+%) to change from "employee" only to "employee and children" at all jobs, mine included.

$100+ cell phone plans with unlimited minutes, texts, and data? Not needed.
Cable TV? Another $100/month expense not needed. I grew up fine without it. Air is fine...We didn't get cable until I was 16 I believe. Besides, I wouldn't want my own kids to be watching BET, MTV, VH-1 and other crap kids their age watch.
Video games? Consoles are a one time expense which last years(~6 years). You don't need to get a child PS3, Xbox, Wii and every console on the market. One current gen console with a PC is fine. Can save by not buying "the latest and the greatest" $59.99 game often, buying used through bargain hunting, buying online instead of at retail outlets, etc...

The major expense in raising children by far is day care costs. Once that is no longer needed, everything else becomes relatively cheap.
I'd say if one's child cannot stay home at the age of 13 by him/herself after coming home from school, then one has failed as a parent.

*Note*
I'm using NC and MD.
I have no idea how much more it takes if you're living in LA, NYC, or some other super mega city where taxes are off the roof along with average houses selling for more than 10-20x average income like it is in CA and other cities/states with overinflated property markets leading one to pay $2,000/month to live in a "closet" apartment.

 

[lothar]

Add some tabasco before you throw that shit away!

Am I missing some kind of joke or thread parody here? Why not just flush it down the toilet instead of adding tabasco sauce?