Yep, war is hell. Difference is, we were attacked.
The 9/11 attack wasn't performed by Saddam Hussein or even the Taliban regime. The attacks were planned and performed by Al-Qaida. You _attacked_ Afghanistan and then _attacked_ Iraq. The result of this is that >100.000 civilians are dead. You weren't attacked by Afghanistan or Iraq, but you attacked them.
If we just did nothing and took your mindset of "we had it coming", the Taliban would still be in power and funding terrorists, Bin Laden would still be alive and so would Saddam along with his regime and we would've been hit a couple more times by now and probably by something a lot more devastating than a plane or suicide bomb. But its OK because we have it coming.
You honestly, truly, believe that the invasion - in hindsight - was the best response to the terrorist attacks? If you do, then you've learned nothing over the last decade and that's a shame. The economy is tanked, the respect for America is failing, the wars are lost and the world isn't a better place today than it was 11 years ago. American foreign policy has caused a lot of suffering on all sides, Ron Paul might actually be the only one willing to discuss a more pragmatic approach.
Oppressing the Middle East isn't helping your cause. Democracy can't be forced at gunpoint by outsiders. Killing civilians doesn't help either.
I don't support terrorism - your's or Islamic - but it's time to take a step back and use brain instead of muscle. How many times are you going to bang your head against the brick wall before you get that it isn't going to move?