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Whats the best comeback / putdown / insult you've heard?

in Halo 2 after someone killed osmeone else, and in an Arnold voice ...

"Eat on my grenade sandwich"

or in Halo 2 when a guy beatdown someone from behind ...

"Where's my ovaltine bltch!"

or in general ...

"YOUR MOM!"
 
Originally posted by: purbeast0
in Halo 2 after someone killed osmeone else, and in an Arnold voice ...

"Eat on my grenade sandwich"

or in Halo 2 when a guy beatdown someone from behind ...

"Where's my ovaltine bltch!"

or in general ...

"YOUR MOM!"

We were in this bar and it was open mic. night so there was this n00b comedian there. Anyways, his jokes were fvcking TERRIBLE. My ears started to bleed. Closer to the end of his gig, some guy in the bar yells, 'Your mom!' So without missing a beat he says to the guy, 'You keep my mom out of this and I'll keep this <points to his crotch> out of your mom.'

The crowd went wild, started laughing at the guy and the comedian simply walked off.

Now, I don't know if it was staged or not but it was a damn good comeback if you ask me. Never heard it before till then.
 
I'm a personal fan of the many variants of

Person 1: Insult

Person 2: "So how long did you stay up thinking that up.."


that's the concept. Adlibing it is the key. I find it also works as a comeback to a comeback for those times when someone is making fun of you making fun of them.
 
Ex's boyfriend: Yeah, I'm hitting that now. How ya like that?
M4H: Every time you kiss her *grabs crotch* you're kissing this. Enjoy.

M4H: Got any naked pictures of your wife?
(Other) Ex's husband: No!
M4H: Want some?

:evil:

- M4H
 
"Your mother should've swallowed you" <--general use

"Do you shave your pussy bald, or leave a landing strip for the boys?" <--whining/complaining
 
Oh yea, what thread of this type would be complete without:

"Why don't you go have sex wif yer mutha!" --Hank the Angry Dwarf (R.I.P.)

:laugh:
 
your face.

Actually, that's the worst, but I always laugh when someone uses it, because it usually makes no sense at all.
 
Some CS guy: You better watch yourself, I'm down with the admins.
Other guy: Sounds more like you're down with down syndrome to me.

It doesn't seem that funny now, but for some reason I got a kick out of it.

I always laugh when I think of squidworth's bubble born insult on an episode of sponge bob square pants:
"If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar."
 
I was at the bar with a buddy one night and the cops showed up. My friend said "Hey man, the cops are here, what did you do"

Me: "Oh sh!t"

Him: "What's wrong man?"

Me: "They saw me fvcking your mom in public and now they want me for animal cruelty"

He didn't even attempt a comeback, just said...

Him: "D@mn, that was nice....."

EDIT:::Fixed something.
 
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