Whats the best comeback / putdown / insult you've heard?

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purbeast0

purbeast0

No Lifer
Sep 13, 2001
53,685
6,568
126
in Halo 2 after someone killed osmeone else, and in an Arnold voice ...

"Eat on my grenade sandwich"

or in Halo 2 when a guy beatdown someone from behind ...

"Where's my ovaltine bltch!"

or in general ...

"YOUR MOM!"
 
C

chuckywang

Lifer
Jan 12, 2004
20,133
1
0
"Awwww.....does your pvssy hurt?"

Said, when a guy complains about something guys shouldn't complain about.
 
H

hypn0tik

Diamond Member
Jul 5, 2005
5,866
2
0
Originally posted by: purbeast0
in Halo 2 after someone killed osmeone else, and in an Arnold voice ...

"Eat on my grenade sandwich"

or in Halo 2 when a guy beatdown someone from behind ...

"Where's my ovaltine bltch!"

or in general ...

"YOUR MOM!"
Click to expand...

We were in this bar and it was open mic. night so there was this n00b comedian there. Anyways, his jokes were fvcking TERRIBLE. My ears started to bleed. Closer to the end of his gig, some guy in the bar yells, 'Your mom!' So without missing a beat he says to the guy, 'You keep my mom out of this and I'll keep this <points to his crotch> out of your mom.'

The crowd went wild, started laughing at the guy and the comedian simply walked off.

Now, I don't know if it was staged or not but it was a damn good comeback if you ask me. Never heard it before till then.
 
K

Kenazo

Lifer
Sep 15, 2000
10,429
1
81
I'm a personal fan of the many variants of

Person 1: Insult

Person 2: "So how long did you stay up thinking that up.."


that's the concept. Adlibing it is the key. I find it also works as a comeback to a comeback for those times when someone is making fun of you making fun of them.
 
M

MercenaryForHire

Lifer
Jan 31, 2002
40,819
2
0
Ex's boyfriend: Yeah, I'm hitting that now. How ya like that?
M4H: Every time you kiss her *grabs crotch* you're kissing this. Enjoy.

M4H: Got any naked pictures of your wife?
(Other) Ex's husband: No!
M4H: Want some?

:evil:

- M4H
 
kranky

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
If brains were gasoline, you couldn't power an ant's go-cart around the inside of a Cheerio.
 
L

lightweight

Senior member
Aug 31, 2004
473
0
71
I've heard someone else say this, but I've recently started:

"Bitter party of 1? Your shut the fvck up is ready"
 
A

AStar617

Diamond Member
Sep 29, 2002
4,983
0
0
"Your mother should've swallowed you" <--general use

"Do you shave your pussy bald, or leave a landing strip for the boys?" <--whining/complaining
 
A

AStar617

Diamond Member
Sep 29, 2002
4,983
0
0
Oh yea, what thread of this type would be complete without:

"Why don't you go have sex wif yer mutha!" --Hank the Angry Dwarf (R.I.P.)

:laugh:
 
Tremulant

Tremulant

Diamond Member
Jul 2, 2004
4,890
1
0
your face.

Actually, that's the worst, but I always laugh when someone uses it, because it usually makes no sense at all.
 
PingSpike

PingSpike

Lifer
Feb 25, 2004
21,763
614
126
Some CS guy: You better watch yourself, I'm down with the admins.
Other guy: Sounds more like you're down with down syndrome to me.

It doesn't seem that funny now, but for some reason I got a kick out of it.

I always laugh when I think of squidworth's bubble born insult on an episode of sponge bob square pants:
"If I had a dollar for every brain you didn't have, I'd have one dollar."
 
B

bapace

Senior member
Jul 7, 2004
720
1
0
I was at the bar with a buddy one night and the cops showed up. My friend said "Hey man, the cops are here, what did you do"

Me: "Oh sh!t"

Him: "What's wrong man?"

Me: "They saw me fvcking your mom in public and now they want me for animal cruelty"

He didn't even attempt a comeback, just said...

Him: "D@mn, that was nice....."

EDIT:::Fixed something.
 
M

marvdmartian

Diamond Member
Apr 12, 2002
5,444
27
91
Two favorites:

1. Your village called. They want their idiot back.

and

2. I'd slap you, but SHlT SPLATTERS!! :laugh:
 
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