What is wrong with these possessive SOs?

[Zeze]

My fiancee's maid of honor can't go to the bachelorette party in Vegas because her husband isn't allowing it. The reason? Nothing, just stay home. He also has a history of throwing massive tantrum whenever she wants to travel anywhere with her friends. He just wants her to stay home and cook, wtf.

A groomsmen of mine can't go to a trip in Maine with us this weekend because his GF can't take the day off. Reading between the lines, it seems she doesn't want him to go if she can't make it. She also got REAL mad at him once because he lifted a bridemaid during a photoshoot as instructed by the photographer. This isn't even Vegas. It would've been just 3 guys + my fiancee.

WTF is wrong with these insecure, controlling, possessive people? Are you that mentally feeble and easily threatened by.. NOTHING?

These people are starting to get annoying.

[edit] accidentally a word.

 

[kranky]

In my experience people like that were the same way before marriage, so their spouses must have been OK with it.

Some people like to be ordered around. And sometimes the insecurity is on both sides.

In some ways it relieves them of having to make decisions (Should I go or shouldn't I?).

In some ways they equate controlling with love. (He loves me so much he can't bear to be without me for a weekend).

In some ways they equate irrational jealousy for love. (She got so jealous when I picked up that bridesmaid, she must really love me).

 

[Vdubchaos]

My fiancee's maid of honor can't go to the bachelorette party in Vegas because her husband isn't allowing it. The reason? Nothing, just stay home. He also has a history of throwing massive tantrum whenever she wants to travel anywhere with her friends. He just wants her to stay home and cook, wtf.

There is always a GOOD reason for EVERYTHING.

Chances are, your fiancee's maid of honor has a track record with her friends misbehaving.....and it's probably something you should be concerned as well.

A groomsmen of mine can't go to a trip in Maine with us this weekend because his GF can't take go. Reading between the lines, it seems she doesn't want him to go if she can't make it. She also got REAL mad at him once because he lifted a bridemail during a photoshoot as instructed by the photographer.

WTF is wrong with these insecure, controlling, possessive people? Are you that mentally feeble and easily threatened by.. NOTHING?

These people are starting to get annoying.

This might simply be a case of "can't go but would like to be with you during this time".

Besides, it's up to HIM to decide....not you or his Girl Friend.

Also keep in mind that nobody is dictating ANYONE, HOWEVER some people here MIGHT be being dictated and that's the issue with the person on the receiving end, not giving end (they shouldn't allow that shit in their relationship if there is no sound/good reason).

So let it go/let it be......these people know exactly what they choose and live with. If you end up with few less people at your events, I promise you , you will survive.

 

[Tim]

In my youth I wrecked a couple of relationships with jealousy and insecurity over letting my SO go out. Then, I met the right one, and things like that never bothered me again. Nine years later, we are married, and she goes wherever she wants to go and whoever she wants to go with. We trust each other complicity. The people you speak of may be miserable and just not able to admit it. I'll shut up now.

 

[Genx87]

Insecurity or maybe those people are cheaters themselves and think because they are scumbags their SO's are as well.

One question, is Maine your bachelor party?

 

[PottedMeat]

We trust each other complicity.

:twisted:

com·plic·i·ty
/kəmˈplisitē/
Noun
The state of being involved with others in an illegal activity or wrongdoing.

or you mean implicitly?

 

[nickbits]

Maybe it is a money issue but that is their excuse??

 

[SheHateMe]

Well, she's a woman. So, you probably aren't going to get many responses in support of her.



I personally think he's probably insecure about her going out without him being there to watch her. That's why I am not really interested in being married. Last thing I want is some dude thinking that he owns me and that I can't go anywhere without him.

 

[JTsyo]

:twisted:



or you mean implicitly?

autocorrected for completely?

 

[Tweak155]

Man you think THAT is bad?

3 weeks ago my wife's sister has her wedding. Of course my wife lands in as maid of honor (they are the only 2 children) so I have to hear all the details of the wedding 24x7 (thank gawd that is over).

But the one thing that relates to this thread - her sister wanted a song or two of the wedding party dancing to slow songs. Not like grind the booty stuff, just simple waddle dancing. Not to mention this is in front of EVERYONE at the reception...

One of the husbands of one of the girls standing up refused to let her dance with her counterpart in the wedding. They ended up cancelling that part of the reception to accomodate.

 

[Zeze]

Insecurity or maybe those people are cheaters themselves and think because they are scumbags their SO's are as well.

One question, is Maine your bachelor party?

No, it's just a relaxing cabin trip for fun.

There is probably a lot more behind the scenes than you can see. There may be a lot you don't know. Perhaps your friends are cheating whores and man whores that lie a lot and have been caught a lot. They may give many good reasons to make someone else worry. But you have no idea. In which case they probably shouldn't be in a relationship with them anyway though if that's how it's going to be.

And sometimes people are just totally lame and jealous for no reason.

The groomsman and Maid of Honor are good kids- very relationship-y kind of people. I've known both since HS. The MoH attended tons of other people's bachelorette parties without making a single mistake.

They never cheated or anything like that.

It's the SOs who are unreasonably crazy.

 

[T9D]

There is probably a lot more behind the scenes than you can see. There may be a lot you don't know. Perhaps your friends are cheating whores and man whores that lie a lot and have been caught a lot. They may give many good reasons to make someone else worry. But you have no idea. You may think they are the greatest people in the world but have no idea what really goes on. In which case they probably shouldn't be in a relationship with them anyway though if that's how it's going to be.

And sometimes people are just totally lame and jealous for no reason.

 

[diesbudt]

No, it's just a relaxing cabin trip for fun.

The groomsman and Maid of Honor are good kids- very relationship-y kind of people. Never cheated or anything like that. It's the SOs who are unreasonably crazy.

No idea. I know a few women who had very controlling SO's and even one who would sneak onto her Facebook and phone and read everything.

Pissed her off, and the trust shattered the relationship, plus he would non stop want to know where she was doing with what, and never wanted her hanging out with her best friend of 8 years (her friend disliked him because of his controlling way). But 3 months later they got back together.

So maybe women like this...?

 

[kranky]

But the one thing that relates to this thread - her sister wanted a song or two of the wedding party dancing to slow songs. Not like grind the booty stuff, just simple waddle dancing. Not to mention this is in front of EVERYONE at the reception...

One of the husbands of one of the girls standing up refused to let her dance with her counterpart in the wedding. They ended up cancelling that part of the reception to accomodate.

Tells you a lot about both of the people in that relationship. The bridal party slow dance is pretty much a staple of every reception that has music. One guy can't stomach his wife dancing with someone else in front of a roomful of people watching (so there's not going to be any groping going on), and the wife isn't able to stand up to the husband and point out his attitude is simply ridiculous, let alone saying he won't allow it.

 

[Zeze]

So maybe women like this...?

I don't like this gender sweeping statement. I've seen plenty of controlling women and the poor guys on receiving end.

 

[Baked]

Mind your own business. That woman knew what she's getting herself into when she decided to hook up with the guy, and sealed her own faith when she married him. I fucking hate it when these women go around whining to other people about how they're being mistreated and how their SO is controlling. No shit Sherlock, you just found that out now? It didn't occur to you when you two were dating?

 

[Lazarus52980]

Man you think THAT is bad?

3 weeks ago my wife's sister has her wedding. Of course my wife lands in as maid of honor (they are the only 2 children) so I have to hear all the details of the wedding 24x7 (thank gawd that is over).

But the one thing that relates to this thread - her sister wanted a song or two of the wedding party dancing to slow songs. Not like grind the booty stuff, just simple waddle dancing. Not to mention this is in front of EVERYONE at the reception...

One of the husbands of one of the girls standing up refused to let her dance with her counterpart in the wedding. They ended up cancelling that part of the reception to accommodate.

I guess I can kind of relate to people being concerned when their SO is away from them (depending on past events) but he is RIGHT THERE... What does he think is going to happen with him and everyone else at the wedding watching???

 

[Tweak155]

I was pretty controlling at one point when I was a teenager / early 20's. But of course back then the girlfriends did lots of stuff because they were also teenagers / early 20's and I was all ready to be serious.

Now I don't even see it as a concern other than my wife doesn't recognize when guys are douchebags (she didn't get to go out a whole lot (hell, period) when she was younger). She just likes to have me there sometimes like if its a place she hasn't been to. I'm not a big dancer so I just tell her to dance with her friends.

 

[Zeze]

Mind your own business. That woman knew what she's getting herself into when she decided to hook up with the guy, and sealed her own faith when she married him. I fucking hate it when these women go around whining to other people about how they're being mistreated and how their SO is controlling. No shit Sherlock, you just found that out now? It didn't occur to you when you two were dating?

I am minding my own biz. They're fighting a lot over this. Sad to see.

 

[shadow9d9]

There is always a GOOD reason for EVERYTHING.

Chances are, your fiancee's maid of honor has a track record with her friends misbehaving.....and it's probably something you should be concerned as well.

Umm, no. If you think humans are rational and do things for 'good reasons' then you haven't been paying attention.

 

[Tweak155]

Tells you a lot about both of the people in that relationship. The bridal party slow dance is pretty much a staple of every reception that has music. One guy can't stomach his wife dancing with someone else in front of a roomful of people watching (so there's not going to be any groping going on), and the wife isn't able to stand up to the husband and point out his attitude is simply ridiculous, let alone saying he won't allow it.

Yeah and if you knew the two... he's done lots of shady stuff and has even been caught (nothing like actual 'cheating' but stuff that leads to it for sure...). She's not had those problems that I've ever heard of, but of course I can't know for sure.

I guess I can kind of relate to people being concerned when their SO is away from them (depending on past events) but he is RIGHT THERE... What does he think is going to happen with him and everyone else at the wedding watching???

Yeah... my wife had to ask me if I had a problem with it because she was shocked this other guy did. I was like... uh no?

 

[Tim]

:twisted:



or you mean implicitly?

Obviously.

 

[SpatiallyAware]

Well, she's a woman. So, you probably aren't going to get many responses in support of her.



I personally think he's probably insecure about her going out without him being there to watch her. That's why I am not really interested in being married. Last thing I want is some dude thinking that he owns me and that I can't go anywhere without him.

Well, you perfectly summed up your issues.

 

[Zeze]

That's why I am not really interested in being married. Last thing I want is some dude thinking that he owns me and that I can't go anywhere without him.

That's one wrong take on what a marriage is...

 

[Red Storm]

That's why I am not really interested in being married. Last thing I want is some dude thinking that he owns me and that I can't go anywhere without him.

Wait, is that what marriage is? Must have missed that memo...