What is she doing ? I really need to hear your views

[littlegohan]

there is this girl that I like who lives in the same dorm (differnt buildings) as me. Anyways, yesterday she told me she was sick. I asked if she needs food (the cafeteria was closed by then) and she said "is ok. the cafe is closed already."

I said I can go to a foodcourt near the campus (25 minutes walk) to get her something to eat. She said is ok thats too far but I insisted that is alright because I am getting something to eat too. (actually I didnt really need to get dinner for myself )

So off I went to buy dinner. After getting the food , I went to her room and offered to have dinner with her. She was quite thankful, but didnt explicitly say "Thank You" or other statements of gratitude.

After we finished dinner, we chatted abit and I left. She didnt say anything about paying me back.

Now, please understand this point. I would not accept her money if she offered to pay me back, but what I find weird is that I have only known her for a month, and is sort of weird that she didnt attempt to ask to pay for her dinner. I dont know wether to take that as a good sign because she thinks is ok to not pay me back (bcus she's close to me) or that she's taking advantage of me.

I like her because of her personality, and I find her to be a honest , humble girl. Therefore I dont think she is a girl who likes to take advantage of other people.

What do you think? Do you think shes taking advantage of me or ... ?

 

[crumpet19]

i dunno bro. I'm humanistic. I tend to believe that all people are good natured. This said.. I only believe this about someone until it is obvious that they are screwing me over.

so -good luck with it.

 

[godmare]

The more I learn about girls, the more I find out I don't know anything about girls.
What other things comprise your relationship with her? what other sorts of htings have you done for each other?

 

[littlegohan]

Well is like I genuinely care about her. I met her a month ago in the dorm's cafe when she was sitting by herself. So I just chatted with her...

I have phoned her two or 3 times, just chatting and we also talk on msn
but get this, it is I WHO ALWAYS intiates any conversation, so I am the one who would always phone her or msn her or whatever.

I did buy her dinner because I wanted her to feel better, I am not just trying to win her over by being her "knight in shinning armor". Yet, I think I will be really hurt that if I find out she indeed was just using me

 

[scoobytreats]

Well, since I'm a chick, I'll help ya out a bit. You said she was sick, right? We usually aren't thinking when we're sick. For that, I apologize for the entire female population. But, I'd say give it awhile. You've only known her for a month and who knows, she may not want any kind of commitment right now. Or it could be she isn't the person you think she is. Getting to know someone takes time. My parents have been married for 22 years now and they are still learning new things. Anyway, good luck with her. And if it ends up that she is "using" you, I am sorry, but it's a stepping stone in the relationship walk of life. You live and learn.

 

[idNut]

Originally posted by: godmare
The more I learn about girls, the more I find out I don't know anything about girls.

Classic line.

 

[zippy]

Originally posted by: scoobytreats
You said she was sick, right? We usually aren't thinking when we're sick.

That's what I thought right off the bat too. She might just not have been thinking.

 

[littlegohan]

Yes , I agree she might not be thnking because she was very ill last night. Well I hope she is the person that I think she is, or I wouldnt have liked her in the first place.

 

[Dragnov]

Don't go for girls in the same dorm hall as you. You'll end up ruining any chance of friendship with her. Furthermore, if you get together and break up, you see each other far too often than you like.

I'm a cnynicist and it seems the girl is like every other girl. Taking use of a guys good nature. Not necessarily using you, but not going to stop you. Unless shes making any effort on her end... well... have fun in the friend zone.

 

[scoobytreats]

Well, like I said...good luck! Wish the best for ya!

 

[WinkOsmosis]

I would give you advice, but I'm a failure when it comes to women, dogs, and shaving.

 

[cavemanmoron]

Originally posted by: idNut

Originally posted by: godmare
The more I learn about girls, the more I find out I don't know anything about girls.

Classic line.

too true.. LOL

 

[littlegohan]

well is the same dorm but different buildings
So if I dont goto her building, I would never see her.

 

[Rastus]

I say give her the benefit of the doubt. There are too many legitemate reasons for her behavior. If you like her, keep her on your good side unless an unhealthy pattern developes or she really makes you mad.

 

[littlegohan]

I'm a cnynicist and it seems the girl is like every other girl. Taking use of a guys good nature. Not necessarily using you, but not going to stop you. Unless shes making any effort on her end... well... have fun in the friend zone.

I absolutely agree
If I find out she is using me, I would end the "relationship" right away without hesistation. Hopefully she is not that that type of person

 

[hdeck]

i dunno man, i've done plenty of things for girls i was friends with and didn't expect a repayment. it comes with being their friend. i wouldn't say she is "using" you, though. just take things one day at a time.

 

[rpc64]

Have you actually explicitly asked her out? Maybe she just needs to know your intentions?

 

[littlegohan]

Well ultimately my goal is not to be simply "friends" with her. I want to have something more, but if she isnt interested, I will move on...maybe I should stop thinking about this
and ask her for dinner next week

to clarify all these assumptions
if she doesnt flake out, then I might have a chance.

 

[scoobytreats]

I'm a cnynicist and it seems the girl is like every other girl.



Now that wasn't very nice. "like every other girl?" I'm a chick and that just wasn't cool.

 

[Mill]

They have P*ssy. We don't. What do you expect?

 

[littlegohan]

Originally posted by: rpc64
Have you actually explicitly asked her out? Maybe she just needs to know your intentions?

What would be considered as explictly asking her out? Well last week I asked her to have dinner with me in the cafe. When I got there, her roomate :Q was there too. I thought that was a bad sign but then later she told me she already had dinner and was watching a hockey game, but she came to have dinner with me. (which I think is a GOOD sign)

 

[WinkOsmosis]

Originally posted by: littlegohan

Originally posted by: rpc64
Have you actually explicitly asked her out? Maybe she just needs to know your intentions?

What would be considered as explictly asking her out? Well last week I asked her to have dinner with me in the cafe. When I got there, her roomate :Q was there too. I thought that was a bad sign but then later she told me she already had dinner and was watching a hockey game, but she came to have dinner with me. (which I think is a GOOD sign)

Dude.. she wants you. Or maybe she just felt sorry for you?? Not like I would know .

 

[FrustratedUser]

She can pay back with a BJ.

 

[littlegohan]

Dude.. she wants you. Or maybe she just felt sorry for you?? Not like I would know

I hope not, that would be a definetly an insult to my manhood. When I asked her for dinner, I simply sent an SMS message on the phone. I didnt plead nor ask like a desperate horny man.. so I hope I didnt give off the vibe that I "NEEDed" her

 

[fyleow]

Originally posted by: Gr1mL0cK
Unless shes making any effort on her end... well... have fun in the friend zone.

Very true, I'm in a similar situation and it's quite frustrating. No. Wait. I am still in my state of denial, what am I saying? Of course I'm not in the friend zone....must...keep...thinking...that...

Just kidding.

"Moving on" might not be as easy as you think. That's what you say now but when it's time to pick up your bags and leave it will be very difficult especially if you eventually become good friends with her. Do you know what sucks the most though? As long as you are connected to her in someway you will be inexplicably "bound" to her. You'll have a hard time enjoying yourself around other girls and it will be difficult to enter a relationship with another girl. You'll develop a misplaced sense of loyalty. Of course this is not the fun part. The fun part is when she starts going out with other guys and tells you all about how he treats her badly and she wishes she could find a sensitive, caring, loving guy (which happens to match the description of who you are, what a coincidence!)

Then you suffer forever.

The end.