What is she doing ? I really need to hear your views

[Atrail]

After we finished dinner, we chatted abit and I left. She didnt say anything about paying me back.


LoL, Maybe it just slipped her mind...

 

[littlegohan]

fyleow, I know what exactly you are talking about. Lets just say I wont be very content nor happy if I see her crying and telling me about how her bf mistreated her. I WANT to be her BF.

In order to let her know I am not just a "friend", I will have to make my moves on her, say doing something more intimate. And if she reacts negatively, then I will just move on.


I have "moved on" in many relationships that I have had. They werent too painful, bcus the realtionship was never too involved. However I think I would be hurt this time, bcus I have a growing affinity developing for her.

 

[KGB1]

Don't over think it man. Let it go, just be friends with her if you can and don't be a atm for her in the future.

 

[godmare]

Originally posted by: littlegohan
I have phoned her two or 3 times, just chatting and we also talk on msn
but get this, it is I WHO ALWAYS intiates any conversation, so I am the one who would always phone her or msn her or whatever.

Could be she's afraid to be involved in a real and caring relationship, or could be she's simply not interested. I really hate to break your bubble, dude (I really do, I know how it feels). I wish I could offer more advice, but the only thing I can think of is be patient (crucial, she'll feel crowded, etc., if you/re not) and jsut be there as her friend, no matter what. I'm not sure what that will get you in the ned result, but I hope it works out for you.

 

[isekii]

dude, think of that dinner as an investment for the goodies to come..

plus if she's a friend... what's wrong with buying a sick friend dinner ?

you expect to be paid back ? I'm pretty sure she'll end up buying you dinner one day .. or possibly dessert to go with it

 

[hdeck]

ask her on a date. make it known what you intend. if you have to say "just you and me." it's not that hard to let a girl know how you feel if you are willing to take that step. if not, have fun in the friends zone

 

[littlegohan]

Originally posted by: isekii
dude, think of that dinner as an investment for the goodies to come..

plus if she's a friend... what's wrong with buying a sick friend dinner ?

you expect to be paid back ? I'm pretty sure she'll end up buying you dinner one day .. or possibly dessert to go with it

I am rather generous with my friends and I buy them things often

The original question to thread is really why she didnt offer to pay back . I think thats significant because it can mean 3 things

1. she things we are close, and so she didnt ask (which is a good thing)
2. She was taking advantage of me (which is a bad bad thing)
3. She wasnt fully consicous or alert at the time, so that thought slipped her mind (netural)

godmare. I really appreciate your honestly. Of course I must agree I would be hurt if she indded has not interest in me but I will defitnetly move on with my life. I have faced many situations in which a girl has not much interest in me, the solution? move on..

 

[littlegohan]

friends zone

how I dread that term

*shivers*

IMO is not a good idea to be friends with a girl you like bcus everytime you see her with her bf, is like being burned with naplam.

 

[hdeck]

IMO is not a good idea to be friends with a girl you like bcus everytime you see her with her bf, is like being burned with naplam.

thus why you stop wasting time on ATOT and tell her how you feel

i've been there before. it suck ass.

 

[godmare]

Originally posted by: littlegohan

how I dread that term

*shivers*

IMO is not a good idea to be friends with a girl you like bcus everytime you see her with her bf, is like being burned with naplam.

Oh, how much I can relate. (you're welcome, btw ) as for your original question, I'd guess most likely (not knowing her, of course) that she just thought you were offering her something that didn't require a payback - not that you expected it, but nice to be offered. This really doesn't speak anything conclusive to me by itself. Could mean several different things, you know? Maybe wait just a bit and see how things play out? Talk to her friends and see if she's interested in someone else.

 

[littlegohan]

yes i will ask her out next week
dinner
on a weekday

and do something intimate, like some sort of kiss
now if she reacts negatively, then I know I have failed.. yet again:frown:

 

[littlegohan]

Originally posted by: godmare

Originally posted by: littlegohan

how I dread that term

*shivers*

IMO is not a good idea to be friends with a girl you like bcus everytime you see her with her bf, is like being burned with naplam.

Oh, how much I can relate. (you're welcome, btw ) as for your original question, I'd guess most likely (not knowing her, of course) that she just thought you were offering her something that didn't require a payback - not that you expected it, but nice to be offered. This really doesn't speak anything conclusive to me by itself. Could mean several different things, you know? Maybe wait just a bit and see how things play out? Talk to her friends and see if she's interested in someone else.

LOL
Finding from her friends might work (but I dont really know her friends), but if she finds out, I might be preceived as weak or cowardish for having to ask her friend for assitance. Thanks though, I will defitnetly think about that tip : )

Do you guys think she knows that I like her? I think that is certaintly possible bcus the action of bring her food and comforting her is not what a "normal friend" that you have known for a month would do.

 

[godmare]

Originally posted by: littlegohan
LOL
Finding from her friends might work (but I dont really know her friends), but if she finds out, I might be preceived as weak or cowardish for having to ask her friend for assitance. Thanks though, I will defitnetly think about that tip : )

yes, a little childish perhaps. just throwing it out there, though, don't do anything you're not comfortable with or don't think is a good idea, of course

 

[godmare]

littlegohan, I sent you a pm in reply, but you have them disabled...

 

[littlegohan]

lol
I have been on this forum for so long and i dont know i have disabled pm

well i will turn it on now
thanks for telling me

 

[Alienwho]

Originally posted by: littlegohan

Originally posted by: godmare

Originally posted by: littlegohan

how I dread that term

*shivers*

IMO is not a good idea to be friends with a girl you like bcus everytime you see her with her bf, is like being burned with naplam.

Oh, how much I can relate. (you're welcome, btw ) as for your original question, I'd guess most likely (not knowing her, of course) that she just thought you were offering her something that didn't require a payback - not that you expected it, but nice to be offered. This really doesn't speak anything conclusive to me by itself. Could mean several different things, you know? Maybe wait just a bit and see how things play out? Talk to her friends and see if she's interested in someone else.

LOL
Finding from her friends might work (but I dont really know her friends), but if she finds out, I might be preceived as weak or cowardish for having to ask her friend for assitance. Thanks though, I will defitnetly think about that tip : )

Do you guys think she knows that I like her? I think that is certaintly possible bcus the action of bring her food and comforting her is not what a "normal friend" that you have known for a month would do.

It sounds to me like she has the upper hand and you are her 'nitch. And I think friends do do things for each other when they are sick. A few weeks ago I broke my collar bone while skiing, and back at the dorm a girl who i consider myself friends with (REALLY cute girl, i'd love to hook it up with her...) came up and visited me much more than usual. She ensisted on making me some dinner, gave me some medecine, spent a lot of time with me watching movies and talking etc. yet when I tried to talk her into letting me take her out as payback she refused and was either A: being nice and refusing saying that I don't owe her payback or B: knew i wanted it as a 'date' and didn't want that.

We're men, we're all lost.

 

[StageLeft]

like her because of her personality, and I find her to be a honest , humble girl. Therefore I dont think she is a girl who likes to take advantage of other people

Based on what you wrote I'd find her a conniving selfish girl who takes advantage of people. But then again maybe she was just out of her head from the sickness.

In fact let me phrase it this way: If I'm sick and somebody I know reasonably well - not a hell of a lot though but I do chat with on occasion - buys me dinner from far away with their own dollar and brings it to me I'm going to be pretty appreciative. Otherwise I'm a selfish ass.

 

[McCarthy]

Sick and wasn't thinking of money. Good bet.

Slipped her mind while you were yapping after eating. Good bet.

Or..... (My first thought, but then after reading other replies I see it wasn't everyone else's)

Could be she grew up with friends like mine. Whenever my friends and I went out and someone was short someone else would cover. No running around giving checks or sending paypal or shoving cash in each other's faces the next day, you just knew you owed and next time you had to be the one to step up to cover. That's how I grew up anyway, even new college friends were like that usually. Maybe it was part of our social order, leave the responsibility to be covered and if they don't cover you find out what kind of friend you have, all for the cost of a burger.

I wouldn't say a thing about it. Bet ya she'll offer to buy you lunch or do something else nice to balance things within the week.

 

[Geekbabe]

She was sick and the money probably slipped her mind.I know with my friends we cover each other all the time and don't give it a lot of thought.

 

[godmare]

Originally posted by: McCarthy
Sick and wasn't thinking of money. Good bet.

Slipped her mind while you were yapping after eating. Good bet.

Or..... (My first thought, but then after reading other replies I see it wasn't everyone else's)

Could be she grew up with friends like mine. Whenever my friends and I went out and someone was short someone else would cover. No running around giving checks or sending paypal or shoving cash in each other's faces the next day, you just knew you owed and next time you had to be the one to step up to cover. That's how I grew up anyway, even new college friends were like that usually. Maybe it was part of our social order, leave the responsibility to be covered and if they don't cover you find out what kind of friend you have, all for the cost of a burger.

I wouldn't say a thing about it. Bet ya she'll offer to buy you lunch or do something else nice to balance things within the week.

You know, that's a really good thought, and I'd agree the measure of a true friend. Indeed, McCarthy, well said

 

[Ready]

you think too much

 

[SubZeroX]

dude, since I'm a guy I almost always end up paying for a girl w/out expecting to be paid back. Well, if I did paid for something for a girl, that means I like her in some way, or else I wouldn't really do it. So I just think of it as giving her a good impression with hopes that she will like you back. Some of them do offer to pay me back but I always refuse it anyways.

And I think other people are right, you are thinking too much.

 

[littlegohan]

Maybe I am thinking too much

Assumption is a Bitvch, I will just ask her out and see how she reacts.

 

[3L33T32003]

Scenario: Guy: "Oh, hi I was in the building and wanted to see you so I came over"
Girl: (mentally rolling eyes) "I really don't feel good right now, sorry."
Guy: "I will go halfway across campus and spend money so you can eat."
Girl: (who is not really sick but now sees a way to get a free meal) "Whatever you want to do."

The fact that she ate after saying she did not want to eat because she was sick, says that she was not sick in the first place. This is a typical play you see in college all the time.

Well ultimately my goal is not to be simply "friends" with her. I want to have something more, but if she isnt interested, I will move on...maybe I should stop thinking about this
and ask her for dinner next week

to clarify all these assumptions
if she doesnt flake out, then I might have a chance.

Don't take this the wrong way...but...
She probably thinks you are somewhere between a geek and a freak and she will milk you for all she is worth. She basically said she did not want anything from you and you went out and got something for her anyway. This pattern of behaviour will continue until the night you show up with flowers and catch her getting laid by a basketball player or something.

Remember, when you post a "broken heart" thread, you heard it here first.

 

[littlegohan]

3L33T32003: I could tell she was sick

Her eyes were all red, and constantly sniffing. By the way, she told me she was sick in the morning, when I asked how was her day on SMS .......

anf fvk I have game you know, I would never fvking show up with flowers are all that cliche bs for dating
fvk I know the line between compassion and being desperate, so you dont have to woeey about me. And I would never fvking post a broken heart thread cus I have learned to let go from my previous relationships

In fact let me phrase it this way: If I'm sick and somebody I know reasonably well - not a hell of a lot though but I do chat with on occasion - buys me dinner from far away with their own dollar and brings it to me I'm going to be pretty appreciative. Otherwise I'm a selfish ass.

Skoorb, your analysis is very logical. Bravo