Anyone with experience and knowledge gained from making the transition to living together with there S.O. please post up. Whether it be just boy/girlfirend or marriage, please post your experiences.
what happens when you move in with your SO???
- Thread starter Ilikepiedoyou
- Start date
The first few months are great, sex all the time, go out and do fun stuff together, pick out stuff for the place, dinner and drinking etc... The next few months are good, the sex becomes less frequent but still 2~3 times a week, you still do stuff together but not every night, your settled in to your place, and you start hanging out with your own groups of friends together now.
After the good part has been going on for a while all of a sudden you feel like your married. The sex goes down to 3~4 times a month and you never seem to have a dollar in your wallet. You start going out with other couples and you get a curfew again like when you were 15. When you start to look around your place you realize that there is ten tons of random crap everywhere and the only things you picked out in the place are the TV, PC, and DVD player.
But I would gladly do it all over again b/c most of the time it's better than living alone.
edit: We dated about 5 years, lived together about 3, was engaged for 1 year and split as the wedding planning began
After the good part has been going on for a while all of a sudden you feel like your married. The sex goes down to 3~4 times a month and you never seem to have a dollar in your wallet. You start going out with other couples and you get a curfew again like when you were 15. When you start to look around your place you realize that there is ten tons of random crap everywhere and the only things you picked out in the place are the TV, PC, and DVD player.
But I would gladly do it all over again b/c most of the time it's better than living alone.
edit: We dated about 5 years, lived together about 3, was engaged for 1 year and split as the wedding planning began
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
- Jul 3, 2003
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I moved in with a girlfriend once...that was 16 years ago. Now we're married and have a son. YMMV
Don't do it.
Sex is overrated, friends counter loneliness, and break ups / divorces cost a lot of money/hassle....enough so that you may further stay in a miserable, unproductive, sexless, lacking-in-friendship relationship...
Sex is overrated, friends counter loneliness, and break ups / divorces cost a lot of money/hassle....enough so that you may further stay in a miserable, unproductive, sexless, lacking-in-friendship relationship...
The first time I moved in with a SO I discovered that she was an insane, manipulative slut and pathological liar who insinuated herself into every corner of my life, hopelessly damaged a bunch of my friendships and business connections and generally ruined what would otherwise have been a great, fun romantic time in my life.
Several years later I moved in with another SO. Within a few weeks I found out we liked to do the same things, have about the same level of neatness (incredibly important) and could spend enormous amounts of time together without getting on each other's nerves, that we respected each other's space, and that in addition to being madly in love with each other, we liked and trusted each other too. I married her and to my amazed delight, nothing much has changed in eight years.
Pick one.
Several years later I moved in with another SO. Within a few weeks I found out we liked to do the same things, have about the same level of neatness (incredibly important) and could spend enormous amounts of time together without getting on each other's nerves, that we respected each other's space, and that in addition to being madly in love with each other, we liked and trusted each other too. I married her and to my amazed delight, nothing much has changed in eight years.
Pick one.
Treasure that, man. Its getting rarer all the time....to find true love with friendship, trust, and commitment like that.
I've never done it myself... but my roommate moved out about 5 months ago and moved in with his fiance. I've been laughing at him ever since 
his fiance is a total straight-edge... she looks down on drinking/smoking. in fact, every time she'd be over the apartment and my friends and I would be here drinking or playing cards, she'd lock herself in my roommate's bedroom and be all sulky until they left... before they moved in together, she was still here a good 5-6 days a week (which is why I told him to GTFO unless she started helping out with rent/utilities). he still had that odd day or two where she wasn't here, though, when he could smoke, drink, and do drugs. now he's finding that he no longer has a place to escape to.
his fiance is a total straight-edge... she looks down on drinking/smoking. in fact, every time she'd be over the apartment and my friends and I would be here drinking or playing cards, she'd lock herself in my roommate's bedroom and be all sulky until they left... before they moved in together, she was still here a good 5-6 days a week (which is why I told him to GTFO unless she started helping out with rent/utilities). he still had that odd day or two where she wasn't here, though, when he could smoke, drink, and do drugs. now he's finding that he no longer has a place to escape to.
I've never made it past 8 months of living together. I figure if I can live with her for a year and still want to be with her then I can go the distance with her and get married. My "one year rule" has saved me more than once.
If I get married I only want to do it once.
If I get married I only want to do it once.
Originally posted by: Beachboy
I've never made it past 8 months of living together. I figure if I can live with her for a year and still want to be with her then I can go the distance with her and get married. My "one year rule" has saved me more than once.
I know someone who had a similar "one year rule". What he did not know was that his live-in girlfriend also had a "one year rule" except that she would move out if he did not propose within that one year of living together.
She moved out after 11.5 months, breaking off the relationship; while he was out looking at diamond rings and planning a proposal. She ended up marrying a man who she did not like as much and he is still single. Both of them are still sad at the end result.
Do not forget that she may also be making plans.
judasmachine
Diamond Member
- Sep 15, 2002
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Skunkwourk
Diamond Member
- Dec 9, 2004
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Originally posted by: chusteczka
Originally posted by: Beachboy
I've never made it past 8 months of living together. I figure if I can live with her for a year and still want to be with her then I can go the distance with her and get married. My "one year rule" has saved me more than once.
I know someone who had a similar "one year rule". What he did not know was that his live-in girlfriend also had a "one year rule" except that she would move out if he did not propose within that one year of living together.
She moved out after 11.5 months, breaking off the relationship; while he was out looking at diamond rings and planning a proposal. She ended up marrying a man who she did not like as much and he is still single. Both of them are still sad at the end result.
Do not forget that she may also be making plans.
when did they find out about each other's "rules"?
1. You get to live in sin. Lots of sex.
2. Apt/house start to slowly transform to her liking...her decor/motif without you necessarily noticing it.
3. You begin gaining weight...either because she's a good cook or she doesn't cook that you two have to go out more often than necessary.
4. You are "busy" than usual and so you sometimes skip hanging out with your own set of friends to the point that they don't even call you anymore when they go out.
5. You get to learn what you can tolerate or not with the other person.
9-12 months later.........
1. You realize that sex everyday or 7 times a day is just time consuming so you actually plan it out to have a healthy frequency of 3 to 4 times a week.
2. You realize that the house/apt is becoming too frilly/flowery to your taste. You take a stand to have your own "space." You get relegated to having your one room, either an office or a playroom/den/TV room.
3. You realize the 5 to 10 pounds after one year of being together. You decide to sign up for gym membership or schedule outdoorsy activities with S.O.
4. You realize that you fell off the face of the earth to your friends. You start callling your friends again. You hang out with them with or without permission.
5. You realize that you can't tolerate her faults and move on or you realize that ALL women have some major flaws and just feel lucky that you found somebody that can ACTUALLY tolerate your own flaws.
2. Apt/house start to slowly transform to her liking...her decor/motif without you necessarily noticing it.
3. You begin gaining weight...either because she's a good cook or she doesn't cook that you two have to go out more often than necessary.
4. You are "busy" than usual and so you sometimes skip hanging out with your own set of friends to the point that they don't even call you anymore when they go out.
5. You get to learn what you can tolerate or not with the other person.
9-12 months later.........
1. You realize that sex everyday or 7 times a day is just time consuming so you actually plan it out to have a healthy frequency of 3 to 4 times a week.
2. You realize that the house/apt is becoming too frilly/flowery to your taste. You take a stand to have your own "space." You get relegated to having your one room, either an office or a playroom/den/TV room.
3. You realize the 5 to 10 pounds after one year of being together. You decide to sign up for gym membership or schedule outdoorsy activities with S.O.
4. You realize that you fell off the face of the earth to your friends. You start callling your friends again. You hang out with them with or without permission.
5. You realize that you can't tolerate her faults and move on or you realize that ALL women have some major flaws and just feel lucky that you found somebody that can ACTUALLY tolerate your own flaws.
SolMiester
Diamond Member
- Dec 19, 2004
- 5,330
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LMAO, these are all the joys of life, however as a previous poster noted, if you stick to your guns, it all works out.
I can confirm that
I can confirm that
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