We had a paper cutter in the office that was awesome. It was the paper cutter that U.S. Army Private Wilks used to decapitate an entire Panzer division at the Battle of Rorke's Drift, tanks and all. It cut like a mofo, was stable, the blade properly sprung, perfectly aligned, perfectly straight. Our secretary, who lacks for enough to do, decided that it was old, ugly, and too heavy so she replaced it with a limp-wristed piece of crap, the Justin Bieber of paper cutters. The spring is insufficient to support the feather weight blade. Somebody's gonna lose a finger, assuming the blade doesn't get dented on their skin. The blade wobbles and curves out of true so straight cuts are all but impossible. Nothing so minor brings on quite as much rage against the wrongness of the universe as bringing a paper cutter blade down and having the paper bend instead of cut.