What first world problem did you have today?

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Imp

Lifer
Feb 8, 2000
18,828
184
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my dick is so long, i need to use my hand to "tuck" my dick to prevent it from touching the toilet seat when going #2.

Do you get regular STD tests?

I swear to god, I want to take my own life whenever that happens -- luckily, not a major issue for me.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,600
126
I've never touched the toilet seat with my dick when going #2


*cries, uncontrollably*
 
Feb 6, 2007
16,432
1
81
my dick is so long, i need to use my hand to "tuck" my dick to prevent it from touching the toilet seat when going #2.

My new apartment has the tiniest toilet I have ever seen. Every single time I take a shit, I'm either draping my dick over the toilet seat (inconvenient) or flopping it under the seat where it presses into the bowl (disgusting). And it's not like I have a gigantic penis; it's perfectly adequate, but it shouldn't present some ridiculous engineering challenge when it comes to designing a functional toilet for sitting. I told my wife and all she did was laugh at my plight. Apparently a toilet that was not built to accommodate a normal-sized human male is hilarious. It's the world's least commodious commode. And if any other guy takes a shit in my house, I know that he's going to face the same issue, which is not something I want to think about the next time I'm sitting on the john. "Oh good, now my junk is resting where his was. Huzzah." CURSE YOU TINY TOILET. So I share your pain, minus the part where I have some comically large penis for everything else in life.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,420
1,600
126
My new apartment has the tiniest toilet I have ever seen. Every single time I take a shit, I'm either draping my dick over the toilet seat (inconvenient) or flopping it under the seat where it presses into the bowl (disgusting). And it's not like I have a gigantic penis; it's perfectly adequate, but it shouldn't present some ridiculous engineering challenge when it comes to designing a functional toilet for sitting. I told my wife and all she did was laugh at my plight. Apparently a toilet that was not built to accommodate a normal-sized human male is hilarious. It's the world's least commodious commode. And if any other guy takes a shit in my house, I know that he's going to face the same issue, which is not something I want to think about the next time I'm sitting on the john. "Oh good, now my junk is resting where his was. Huzzah." CURSE YOU TINY TOILET. So I share your pain, minus the part where I have some comically large penis for everything else in life.

one of the greatest posts in AT history
 

John Connor

Lifer
Nov 30, 2012
22,757
619
121
My first world problem:

eBay changed the UI in the My eBay page and now when you add a tracking number to a buyer's listing you can't click the tracking number as the seller and check the status.

Why is it when this fancy fuck changes come on websites it's like 2 steps forward one step back? It's like Windows and that god awful GUI in Win 8 and you have to use a damn third party software to get that App crap off. :rolleyes:
 

Sonikku

Lifer
Jun 23, 2005
15,901
4,927
136
Ordered a Star Wars game for my Kinect off ebay Tuesday, was said to arrive Friday. Well it did, around 1pm or so according to tracking, but I live in an apartment building where packages can only be picked up in a little store they have and the store is only open from 9am to 11am on weekdays. Now even though it's in the building, I won't be able to pick it up until Monday. Going to have to wait the whole weekend now until I can get funky dancing with Han and Lando. :(
 
Feb 25, 2011
16,992
1,621
126
Toilets have been pretty much standard size for decades, extended bowls were made for dudes with big asses, and while I have the dick/toilet-seat problem too, it wasn't an issue until I got old and fat.

Leaning forward also works.
 

manimal

Lifer
Mar 30, 2007
13,559
8
0
use one of these for your dick johnson



foot-lifters.jpg
 

Imp

Lifer
Feb 8, 2000
18,828
184
106
My new apartment has the tiniest toilet I have ever seen. Every single time I take a shit, I'm either draping my dick over the toilet seat (inconvenient) or flopping it under the seat where it presses into the bowl (disgusting).

We have those tiny toilets in our house. It's an effing joke because I'm 5'4" and still have problems fitting my ass on the seat -- if I sit any further back, I'll need a shovel every time I go.

The toilets at work are a dream. They're Toto toilets and you could fit a morbidly obese person on them. Too bad they're built for regular height people so I can't sit far back unless I want my pants touching the toilet.
 

John Connor

Lifer
Nov 30, 2012
22,757
619
121
First world problem.

I have noticed that in order to be liked on this forum you should have a Liberal logic, you can't believe in God only science is the all knowing (Despite Biblical archaeology) and the paranormal doesn't exist (which means pseudoscience doesn't either?).

But no, I was born to rock the boat. And I'm going to rock the crap out of it. :twisted:

:awe:
 

Svnla

Lifer
Nov 10, 2003
17,986
1,388
126
I went to an outdoor event today and the food vendor (church raising fund) gave 7.5 oz can of Coke instead of the regular 12 oz can. <sad panda>
 

slugg

Diamond Member
Feb 17, 2002
4,723
80
91
I don't often have first world problems... But...

My new dishwasher is so quiet, I had to enable the LED so I can tell that it's running.
 

squarecut1

Platinum Member
Nov 1, 2013
2,230
5
46
I don't often have first world problems... But...

My new dishwasher is so quiet, I had to enable the LED so I can tell that it's running.
Now THAT is a proper first world problem! We need more like this in this thread
 

Imp

Lifer
Feb 8, 2000
18,828
184
106
I was going to rewatch the Person of Interest premiere but a movie's on TV that I haven't seen before... Now I don't think I have time to:(.
 

MongGrel

Lifer
Dec 3, 2013
38,466
3,067
121
My new water heater is that way I like it.

No LED, but when I hooked it last week had to just see if it worked as opposed to the old one.