What does Marriage really change???

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OS

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
15,581
1
76

heh, you guys are doing a pretty good job of convincing me not to get married
 

silverpig

Lifer
Jul 29, 2001
27,703
12
81
Originally posted by: MichaelD
Originally posted by: silverpig
Here's what marriage changes:

Before marriage, the chick has everything to lose from a breakup.
After marriage, the guy has everything to lose from a breakup.

That is the truest, most elegantly worded statement I've read in quite ahwile. *tips hat*

Thanks. :)
 

Stallion

Diamond Member
May 4, 2000
3,657
0
76
From reading some of the replies it is easy to tell alot of guys here are ..
A. Not married
B. being sarcastic
C. clueless.

I will have 8 years under my belt next week. The sex is better now then it ever was and just as plenty full. I spend plenty of money on PCs. I had a great 700@933 unit. worked great, no problems. I said I wanted a new Northwood and I started to order parts. I now have a sweet 1.6A with all the goodies. 4 years ago when I wanted to paint my Oldsmobile she said go for it. I spent 5K on paint and body parts. Last year I spent $2500. on aluminum heads and valvetrain parts for my car. last week we talked about getting rid of my 1974 CJ-5 and getting a newer jeep. I said I love my CJ, so she suggested we fix it up so it will be road worthy enough of the whole family. Right now it's mostly just an off-road unit with two front buckets. So she said why not spend $3500 and get it fixed up, new back seat, some trans work, maybe put on front disc brakes, carpet, new top...

She has gained maybe 5-6 pounds (after 2 kids) since when we met while I have gained about 20.

She makes more money then I do and I make quite a bit.

She gives me free time to game/work on car/hang with friends and so forth.

A marriage is not 50/50. Marriage is 100/100

Ok, enough from me. :)


 

joe678

Platinum Member
Jun 12, 2001
2,407
0
71
Originally posted by: Ranger X
While you're dating, you can still kinda look at other girls. When you're married, she owns you. :p
Oh and forget about spending time with your guy friends. :D

haha...its so true...:D
 

fataIerror

Senior member
Mar 10, 2001
820
0
0
1. Marriage is not a word. It?s a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor?s Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.
5. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
6. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
7. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
8. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don?t know son, I?m still paying for it.
9. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn?t know his wife until he marries her. Father: That?s true everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
10. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
11. They say that when a man holds a woman?s hand before marriage,it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
12. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10 year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
13. Confucius says: man who sinks into a woman?s arm soon have arms in woman?s sink.
14. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
15. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
16. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They can?t face each other, but still they stay together.
17. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
18. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the ?Y? becomes silent.
19. ?I married Miss right, I just didn?t know her first name was Always.?
20. It?s not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
21. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
22. A man was complaining to a friend: ?I HAD IT ALL, MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE.? ?WHAT HAPPENED?? asked his friend. He says ?MY WIFE FOUND OUT.?
23. WIFE: Let?s go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.
24. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: ?AREN?T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?? The other replied, ?YES, I AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.?
25. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
26. It doesn?t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
27. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
28. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.
29. They say women in the U.S. have a longer life expectancy than men...I think we just choose to die sooner!
 

Atrail

Diamond Member
Apr 20, 2001
4,326
0
0
Haha those are funny!

What does Marriage really change???

Your taxes, you get to file jointly...
rolleye.gif
 

heartsurgeon

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2001
4,260
0
0
groom walks down the aisle - thinks to himself "great!, now i can do it whenever i want!"

bride walks down the aisle - thinks to herself "great!, now i only have to do it when i want to!"

once you have kids - you can basically forget about it, you'll have to beg for it and be a really good boy..you'll see....

but the really neat part about marriage is that with time, you learn to get along without any!!
 

MichaelD

Lifer
Jan 16, 2001
31,528
3
76
Originally posted by: heartsurgeon
groom walks down the aisle - thinks to himself "great!, now i can do it whenever i want!"

bride walks down the aisle - thinks to herself "great!, now i only have to do it when i want to!"

once you have kids - you can basically forget about it, you'll have to beg for it and be a really good boy..you'll see....

but the really neat part about marriage is that with time, you learn to get along without any!!

Spoken like a man who has truly just GIVEN UP....that's what happens when you get married. My heart goes out to heartsurgeon. :(

Women just LOVE to post long, pile-on-the-guilt replies to threads like these. Here are some possible (probable?) answers:

1. "If you stopped caring about only YOU for just a second, you'd see that there's more to life than just what YOU want, you selfish prick."
2. "Maybe just for once, you can think about the fact that your family wants to see you settled down, so they can stop worrying about you!"
3. "A successful marriage is a partnership were two persons that truly care about each other can be honest w/their feelings and therefore grow together as a human unit."
4. "Most men only want marriage for the "bottomless nookie pit" women want marriage so they can finally feel that they are worthy of what society has groomed them for."

Any of these BS answers sound familiar to you, guys? Here is the bottom line:

Here, in the United States of America, during a divorce, the man already has two strikes against him. 99% of the time, the court will side w/the woman on most things. You walk thru the door. Your wife clangs you in the face with a wooden cutting board, splitting your lip open. You shove her against the wall to get her off you...the neighbors call the cops. You are bleeding like a stuck pig. She has not a scratch on her. Guess who is going to cool his heels in the Piggy Pen tonight? YOU! (I speak from personal experience on this particular issue)

Judges-->District Atty's-->Police Officers-->Psychologists-->Society in general-->your wife-->or girlfriend ALL say "Domestic violence is tragic and must end now!!!" What they are talking about is men beating women. Unfortunately, the reverse doesn't hold any water. Your WIFE or GF can beat YOUR ASS like a dog that just sh1t on the carpet and it's ok. The police will LAUGH at you when they show up and you're bleeding from the skull b/c you let her almost kill you but didn't touch her in hopes that they will see ZERO markings on her and you looking like that and they will finally take her ass away....but they laugh...then they leave. Then she hits you some more, then burns your car, then throws you out, then KEEPS EVERYTHING.

I'll be damned if I go thru that again. This is MY WORLD baby; I just let you live in it. You can stay for as long as you play nice. You no play nice, your VISA gets revoked and I put you on the next plane to GETTHEHELLOUTVILLE. I have personally seen what women are truly capable of. And guess what? Notice I didn't even MENTION children. (I ve one) GOD the LORD JESUS help you if children are involved....just put a bullet thru your skull; it's quicker and far less painful. I'd rather have a cactus shoved up my @ss and yanked out with a chain tied to a speeding 18-wheeler then to go thru again what I have been thru for the past 6.5 years w/my son and his Satan Mother.

Bitter? Damn skippy. Mentally scarred? What do you think? Correct? You bet your balls I am.
 

Rilescat

Senior member
Jan 11, 2002
815
0
0
Originally posted by: MichaelD
Originally posted by: heartsurgeon
groom walks down the aisle - thinks to himself "great!, now i can do it whenever i want!"

bride walks down the aisle - thinks to herself "great!, now i only have to do it when i want to!"

once you have kids - you can basically forget about it, you'll have to beg for it and be a really good boy..you'll see....

but the really neat part about marriage is that with time, you learn to get along without any!!

Spoken like a man who has truly just GIVEN UP....that's what happens when you get married. My heart goes out to heartsurgeon. :(

Women just LOVE to post long, pile-on-the-guilt replies to threads like these. Here are some possible (probable?) answers:

1. "If you stopped caring about only YOU for just a second, you'd see that there's more to life than just what YOU want, you selfish prick."
2. "Maybe just for once, you can think about the fact that your family wants to see you settled down, so they can stop worrying about you!"
3. "A successful marriage is a partnership were two persons that truly care about each other can be honest w/their feelings and therefore grow together as a human unit."
4. "Most men only want marriage for the "bottomless nookie pit" women want marriage so they can finally feel that they are worthy of what society has groomed them for."

Any of these BS answers sound familiar to you, guys? Here is the bottom line:

Here, in the United States of America, during a divorce, the man already has two strikes against him. 99% of the time, the court will side w/the woman on most things. You walk thru the door. Your wife clangs you in the face with a wooden cutting board, splitting your lip open. You shove her against the wall to get her off you...the neighbors call the cops. You are bleeding like a stuck pig. She has not a scratch on her. Guess who is going to cool his heels in the Piggy Pen tonight? YOU! (I speak from personal experience on this particular issue)

Judges-->District Atty's-->Police Officers-->Psychologists-->Society in general-->your wife-->or girlfriend ALL say "Domestic violence is tragic and must end now!!!" What they are talking about is men beating women. Unfortunately, the reverse doesn't hold any water. Your WIFE or GF can beat YOUR ASS like a dog that just sh1t on the carpet and it's ok. The police will LAUGH at you when they show up and you're bleeding from the skull b/c you let her almost kill you but didn't touch her in hopes that they will see ZERO markings on her and you looking like that and they will finally take her ass away....but they laugh...then they leave. Then she hits you some more, then burns your car, then throws you out, then KEEPS EVERYTHING.

I'll be damned if I go thru that again. This is MY WORLD baby; I just let you live in it. You can stay for as long as you play nice. You no play nice, your VISA gets revoked and I put you on the next plane to GETTHEHELLOUTVILLE. I have personally seen what women are truly capable of. And guess what? Notice I didn't even MENTION children. (I ve one) GOD the LORD JESUS help you if children are involved....just put a bullet thru your skull; it's quicker and far less painful. I'd rather have a cactus shoved up my @ss and yanked out with a chain tied to a speeding 18-wheeler then to go thru again what I have been thru for the past 6.5 years w/my son and his Satan Mother.

Bitter? Damn skippy. Mentally scarred? What do you think? Correct? You bet your balls I am.

Sadly, I saw my parents go through this type of thing. Their divorce took 4 years because the damn local government "just couldn't understand" how the MOTHER could be a child abusive b*tch while the father was a halfway decent human being.

Took a MAJOR revolt from us children before anything happened.



4 Years
 

BoberFett

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
37,562
9
81
Everyone I know who got married, myself included, gave up all their single guy toys when they got married.

Motorcycle? Gone.
Classic car? Gone.
Room full of PCs? Gone.
Snowmobile? Gone.

Every guy thinks their girl is different, but it always turns out the same.
 

bulldawg

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,215
1
81
Originally posted by: joe678
Originally posted by: Ranger X
While you're dating, you can still kinda look at other girls. When you're married, she owns you. :p
Oh and forget about spending time with your guy friends. :D

haha...its so true...:D

Maybe for you. My experience is the complete opposite.
 

RU482

Lifer
Apr 9, 2000
12,689
3
81
Don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but what does marriage really add to the relationship?

It gives her the security that she gets half your sh!t if you cheat on her ;)
 

Tangerine

Senior member
Jul 25, 2001
555
0
0
I'm here to call bullsht on all you wife bashers!

I didn't take away my husbands toys. I liked to golf and ski and buy expensive toys too.
The honeymoon period ends though when you have children. Men who still want to be boys and not put in their share of the child raising, but instead want to spend their only day off out with friends and toys should catch hell from their wives. Get a hobby at home or one that you can do with your family, is that so hard? Everyone needs some personal time, even wives! Work it out so no one feels neglected.

If you don't have money problems, then this doesn't apply, but usually money is tight when you have a family. Do you really think you should buy that new boat/jetski/motorcycle if you are in debt and you need to pay the pediatrician?

Life is balance, learn how to deal with it. If you do a good job and your kids leave after you raise them right, then you can have all your toys back. And you might still have a wife if you payed any attention to her over the last 20 years.
 

Rilescat

Senior member
Jan 11, 2002
815
0
0
Originally posted by: Flashram
It gives her the security that she gets half your sh!t if you cheat on her

Exactly. Go watch a few episodes of Judge Judy.

If you watch Judge Judy, she will even get half of your stuff if SHE cheats on you.....

 

mellondust

Senior member
Nov 20, 2001
562
0
0
Well, your living together, what do you expect it to change?

People ussually get married becuase they love each other, want to be with each other the rest of their lives, and they want to have a family, and share experiences. Yes, that means kids. The real purpose to getting married is the family regardless of size of your family. Living together tends to take away a lot of the changes you might experience when you get married so I can see why it would be hard to see what they might be. Marriage is sometimes hard, but the best thing I ever did! Life is a lot more full and enjoyfull and kids are great too. It's one of those things you can't fully understand till you do it. If you feel she is the right one, go for it. If not, in my opinion living together is a complete waste and will ruin your life in one way or another.
 

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
It changes all the other bastards who try hitting on your wife when they realize that she's wearing a ring.

nik

Actually, no it doesn't. Guys generally either don't notice, or don't give a rat's ass if a woman is wearing a ring or not. It's actually kind of fun to approach them as they are attempting to chat up your wife and say "I see you've met my wife." in a pseudo-friendly manner whilst giving them the "I will hurt you if you don't walk away right now." look. Few things are more tactless than to hit on another man's wife, IMO.
 

Fausto

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2000
26,521
2
0
Originally posted by: dullard
To be honest, all I see is a dam* expensive wedding for my lady to dress up, make giggly, and do stupid girl things.
If you go all out and blow $10,000+ on a half day event then the wedding/reception is a terrible waste of money. Instead you can have a day just as wonderful day and spend $2,000. Now each guest averages a $25 gift. Invite 300 people and you make $7500 in gifts (more if you have rich relatives a bit less if you have poor relatives). So all in all a wedding can give you a $5000 profit (mostly in cold hard cash). Or you can blow $10,000 on flowers at a reception... Its the couple's chioce. Hint: I chose to spend ~$5000 and made a nice ~$8000 back resulting in a ~$3000 profit. Plus the wedding was fun.

But there are many other things you can gain other than a thick wad of $20 bills. These are in no particular order.
1) There is the fact that you are finally accepted by all of society in doing some things. It is so odd the first time your parents encourage you to have sex (same goes with everyone else who might be conservative).
2) Most of the time your taxes are lower if you are married (unless you each make over $100,000 then you are screwed by uncle Sam with the marriage penalty but that rarely occurs).
3) Your insurance rate drops.
4) Housing/utility costs are cut in half if you lived apart.
5) Your relationship grows.
6) You are probably too old to still be in college, but if you are you get thousands of free student aid for getting married (you no longer need to include your parents earnings).
7) Your relationship generally becomes longer lasting. Sure there is a 50% divorce rate, but the rate of non-married people breaking up is much higher.
8) You learn many things that you never knew before about each other.
9) You get to share in things you missed before (assuming you live apart) like breakfast at sunrise...
10) You get to let the world know of your feelings.
I could go on and on.
I swear, I always enjoy reading your posts while simultaneously chuckling at the (I'm assuming) intentional irony of your nick. :)

Anyway....as one who has been married for 5 years and with the same woman for 12, dullard's points pretty much sum it up.
 

teddymines

Senior member
Jul 6, 2001
940
0
0
Hmmm, where to start... Marriage:

- Increases your waistline
- Decreases your wallet inventory
- Increases your stress level
- Tests your communication skills
- Is about give and take
- Is no longer about "me" but about "us"
- Makes you give up a lot of your freedom
- Is an excellent environment in which to raise kids
- Means you get to interact and get along with inlaws
- Means planning long term items (house, vacations, family)
- Means you have to agree to window scarves instead of metal blinds
- Means a minivan may be in your future
- Means you need to plan farting on the computer around HER schedule
- Means someone telling you in a nice way (but often) that you are out of shape
- Offers someone who is always there to listen
- Requires that you listen to her problems
- Teaches you little white lies about her looking great in that dress 2 sizes too small
- Makes you the guinea pig for that experimental casserole
- Means discovering those feminine care products you bought at 11:00pm are always the wrong kind

And so much more. You'll see.
 

Hoober

Diamond Member
Feb 9, 2001
4,413
58
91
Marriage is like any other relationship. You get a return on what you put in. Nothing in, nothing out.
 

dullard

Elite Member
May 21, 2001
26,032
4,676
126
Originally posted by: Fausto1
I swear, I always enjoy reading your posts while simultaneously chuckling at the (I'm assuming) intentional irony of your nick. :)
Thanks.

After years of posting on forums like this, this is only the 2nd or 3rd time anyone ever pointed that irony out. I've seen so many bloated, egotistical nicks that were never backed up by any intelligent post. So I went with the opposite - I try to use my posts to impress not some silly nick.

I've been married for 3 and with the same woman for 8. I thought I waited a long time to get married (I wanted to get my Bachelors degree first) but your 7 years of dating sure beat us.

Basically you get out of marriage what you put into it. I've seen some fade away and die when neither were willing to put in a little effort. I've seen many succeed as well. I think marriage is 70/30 and 30/70. Somedays you will have to give in and do some hard labor just to please your wife. Some days she will return the favor. As long as you each realize that and combine your strengths then you will be better off. If instead you hope you will always be doing the 30% work and have your spouse as a slave, then you will be combining your weaknesses and be doomed to failure.