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What does Marriage really change???

R

Rilescat

Senior member
Ok....I am engaged. Getting married next June.

I have been thinking more and more.....probably something every young (24) bachelor does....

What will marriage really change?> To be honest, all I see is a dam* expensive wedding for my lady to dress up, make giggly, and do stupid girl things.

Afterwards, I will have a joint bank account (meaning less computer parts 😉 and a grumpy kindergarten teacher telling me I don't keep the house clean enough and don't take her on enough dates. ( I assume I will hear that, because that is what I hear now).

Don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but what does marriage really add to the relationship?

Help please.
 
Well, anytime I try to get one of my engaged friends to buy something, they always reply "I don't have any money...I'm getting married."

I guess you kind of already covered that though. 😉
 
I suppose that depends on who you and your g/f are. If you're both devout Christian Fundamentalists, then you probably haven't had sex yet, in which case marriage will bring quite a lot. If you've never lived with a woman before, marriage will teach you a lot about your g/f, some of which you might not be happy with.

My g/f and I have been together for 7 years, a good portion of that while living together. Were we to get married, little would change.
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
How long have you dated, and have you/are you lived/living with each other?
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4 years of dating. We have lived together during the last two summers. She is away (about 80 miles) for the school year while she attends college.
 
I'm getting married next June as well, 24 at the time, and have been dating my fiance for 4 years as well 🙂

We've been living together since 6 month into our relationship. We've had combinded bank accounts for years, have purchased cars together, bought our home together a year and a half ago, and pretty much live as a married couple.

For us, all that's really going to change is her last name. For you, there is going to be quite an awkward transition period since you really still don't know her completely, and you have to learn to work as a team to get things done.
 
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
It changes all the other bastards who try hitting on your wife when they realize that she's wearing a ring.

nik
Click to expand...

That's a BIG negatory, space ranger. All a ring does is add to the challenge. I know plenty of married women that fool around on their husbands. Plenty.....

That said, marriage changes everything. I believe in cohabitation and maybe even a joint bank account for billing purposes.



Marriage equals:

Far less sex (and eventually, no sex...same partner = boring after about two years)

End of your joys (working on the truck/computer, gardening, bowling, golf...all those things come to a grinding halt, especially if it involves MONEY

And so many other things...no time to list them all. I wish you luck. I am the type of person that was not cut out for marriage. Whether that's a blessing or a curse remains to be seen, but at 34 years old and unmarried...it's looking like bachelorhood for me. Just knowing that if I stay single enables me to do what I want whenever I want to w/o having to consult then argue w/someone else first is comfort enough. I'll buy a doggie if I get lonely.
 
To be honest, all I see is a dam* expensive wedding for my lady to dress up, make giggly, and do stupid girl things.
Click to expand...
If you go all out and blow $10,000+ on a half day event then the wedding/reception is a terrible waste of money. Instead you can have a day just as wonderful day and spend $2,000. Now each guest averages a $25 gift. Invite 300 people and you make $7500 in gifts (more if you have rich relatives a bit less if you have poor relatives). So all in all a wedding can give you a $5000 profit (mostly in cold hard cash). Or you can blow $10,000 on flowers at a reception... Its the couple's chioce. Hint: I chose to spend ~$5000 and made a nice ~$8000 back resulting in a ~$3000 profit. Plus the wedding was fun.

But there are many other things you can gain other than a thick wad of $20 bills. These are in no particular order.
1) There is the fact that you are finally accepted by all of society in doing some things. It is so odd the first time your parents encourage you to have sex (same goes with everyone else who might be conservative).
2) Most of the time your taxes are lower if you are married (unless you each make over $100,000 then you are screwed by uncle Sam with the marriage penalty but that rarely occurs).
3) Your insurance rate drops.
4) Housing/utility costs are cut in half if you lived apart.
5) Your relationship grows.
6) You are probably too old to still be in college, but if you are you get thousands of free student aid for getting married (you no longer need to include your parents earnings).
7) Your relationship generally becomes longer lasting. Sure there is a 50% divorce rate, but the rate of non-married people breaking up is much higher.
8) You learn many things that you never knew before about each other.
9) You get to share in things you missed before (assuming you live apart) like breakfast at sunrise...
10) You get to let the world know of your feelings.
I could go on and on.

 
Originally posted by: Rilescat
Ok....I am engaged. Getting married next June.

I have been thinking more and more.....probably something every young (24) bachelor does....

What will marriage really change?> To be honest, all I see is a dam* expensive wedding for my lady to dress up, make giggly, and do stupid girl things.

Afterwards, I will have a joint bank account (meaning less computer parts 😉 and a grumpy kindergarten teacher telling me I don't keep the house clean enough and don't take her on enough dates. ( I assume I will hear that, because that is what I hear now).

Don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but what does marriage really add to the relationship?

Help please.
Click to expand...


marry your best friend. only way i heard it will last.

 
Originally posted by: ffmcobalt
It changes all the other bastards who try hitting on your wife when they realize that she's wearing a ring.

nik
Click to expand...

As a married woman, who after 2 years of not wearing a ring, now wears a 'wedding ring', I can tell you this: It isn?t true - it doesn't stop.
 
Marriage just solidifies your relationship and shows both of you that you are committed to each other.

My wife and I lived together for nearly a year before we got married and there really isn't much of a difference in day-to-day life, other than your Marital Status on an application will be marked "Married" and your wife becomes "Mrs. Your Last Name Here". hehe
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
I'm getting married next June as well, 24 at the time, and have been dating my fiance for 4 years as well 🙂

.
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Weird stuff....don't tell me June 21~~~:Q
 
Here's what marriage changes:

Before marriage, the chick has everything to lose from a breakup.
After marriage, the guy has everything to lose from a breakup.
 
While you're dating, you can still kinda look at other girls. When you're married, she owns you. 😛
Oh and forget about spending time with your guy friends. 😀
 
Originally posted by: Ranger X
While you're dating, you can still kinda look at other girls. When you're married, she owns you. 😛
Oh and forget about spending time with your guy friends. 😀
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I can assure you that is NOT always the case! Please,my ex used to throw hissy fits anytime I dare to want to go out the door to see my friends,otoh,I was always relieved when he went out with his,it was nice to have the house to myself and he was usually in a good mood upon his return,everybody won.As far as "looking" at girls went,his vieing the menu wasn't a problem,his habitual ordering of side dishes was and led to our divorce
 
Originally posted by: silverpig
Here's what marriage changes:

Before marriage, the chick has everything to lose from a breakup.
After marriage, the guy has everything to lose from a breakup.
Click to expand...

That is the truest, most elegantly worded statement I've read in quite ahwile. *tips hat*
 
no advantage to getting married, other than any emotional benefits you might conjur up for yourself. just like the prom...


BTW, you ARE going to have her sign a pre-nup, right? don't make the same mistake so many other have.
 
Originally posted by: gopunk
no advantage to getting married, other than any emotional benefits you might conjur up for yourself. just like the prom...

BTW, you ARE going to have her sign a pre-nup, right? don't make the same mistake so many other have.
Click to expand...

Guess again - several legal benefits. Health insurance. Car insurance. Ease of getting loans. Taxes. Ect.
 
Sublime - Ball and Chain

People listen up don't stand to near
I got something that you all should hear.
All lies, all the lies she told to me
make a little part of history.
I was always taught that boy meets girl,
fall in love get married and forget the world.
Nine months later, the sweet babys on the way.
Kiss 'em on the check and lifes ok.
I don't feel, no pain. I don't have, no time
to listen to conflicting points of view.
It's a crazy world to live alone,
a ball and chain I call my own


People listen up don't stand to close
I got something that you all should know
Holy Matrimony is not for me.
Rather die alone in misery.
I was always taught that boy meets girl,
fall in love get married and forget the world.
Nine months later, the sweet babys on the way.
Isn't that what they used to say?
With a girl that you knew,
and the bonds that we grew.
Turned into a ball and chain.
I step into the great unknown,
a ball and chain I call my own.
Crazy world to live alone


With a girl that you knew,
and the bonds that we grew,
turned into a ball and chain.
I step into the great unknown,
with a ball and chain I call my own.
Because marriage doesn't work in the world today
It's an institutionthat is in decay.
And if I have love I wish to portray,
I will surely find another way.


Because I was always taught boy meets girl,
fall in love get married and forget the world.
Nine months later the sweet babys on the way,
Kiss 'em on the check and lifes ok.
I don't feel no pain, I don't have no time
to listen to conflicting points of view
I step into the great unknown,
with a ball and chain I call my own

🙂
 
Originally posted by: vi_edit
Originally posted by: gopunk
no advantage to getting married, other than any emotional benefits you might conjur up for yourself. just like the prom...

BTW, you ARE going to have her sign a pre-nup, right? don't make the same mistake so many other have.
Click to expand...

Guess again - several legal benefits. Health insurance. Car insurance. Ease of getting loans. Taxes. Ect.
Click to expand...

meh, i guess i was too focused on other aspects 😛

ok, so you have some legal and monetary reasons to get married....

but don't forget the prenup!
 
several legal benefits.
Click to expand...
I knew I was missing some big ones in my list above. These are the big ones (they all go both ways):
1) The right to inherit from your girlfriend if she dies without a long legal battle from her family.
2) The right to visit her in the hospital emergency room.
3) The right to make legal decisions for her if she is incapable.
4) The right to live in the same home (illegal in most locations).

Here is a smaller one:
1) The right to give a large gift tax free (large gifts to non-family members are taxable).


 
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