What does Marriage really change???

[JupiterJones]

Don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but what does marriage really add to the relationship?

This depends largely on your religious views. Without God, marriage is a contract. It is a legal statement of commitment, cancelable by either party. A legal contract, if you will.

If you believe in the God of the Bible, then marriage is the crown of God's creation. It is that state in which man and woman best reflect (together) the Imago Deo (Image of God). It is also a Covenant relationship reflecting the relationship between Christ and his Church.

The difference between a contract and a covenant is that a contract can be broken. A covenant means that each party does what is called for in the agreement even if the other party does not.

 

[Fritzo]

Here's what marriage means----plain and simple:

Marraige is the losing of the ability to do anything you want to anytime you want to, with the addition of a quadrupling of the amount of daily annoyances, problems, and being forced to sit through events that you can't stand.

Oh yeah....you tend to get some on a regular basis too, which balances that first part out

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: vi_edit
I'm getting married next June as well, 24 at the time, and have been dating my fiance for 4 years as well

We've been living together since 6 month into our relationship. We've had combinded bank accounts for years, have purchased cars together, bought our home together a year and a half ago, and pretty much live as a married couple.

For us, all that's really going to change is her last name. For you, there is going to be quite an awkward transition period since you really still don't know her completely, and you have to learn to work as a team to get things done.

I'm similar to you guys too. 24, engaged, and been with her for 4 years (known her for 5). We're in the process of buying a house right now. I look at the whole thing as steps for the next big thing. Without marriage, we can't have kids... we can't have a house together (even if we're not doing it in that order). But after being together for 4-5 years, marriage will perhaps change as little as my income tax. Woo-fuggin-hoo!!!! Couple that with lower car insurance at 25, we're set baby!!!

 

[rh71]

being forced to sit through events that you can't stand

This is absolutely right. Right now, as an unmarried couple, if she has to go somewhere with family, you have an excuse of needing to do something else with friends at the same time. But if you're married, you're in the same house and getting away from family obligations is 10 times harder. I'm free from a lot of her family engagements right now... but as soon as I'm married/living in the same house... I'm stuck with her family just the same.

 

[RU482]

- teddymines.....
Makes you the guinea pig for that experimental casserole

I have SOOOOO been there

 

[StattlichPassat]

You're asking us this now after you're engaged, Rilescat?

 

[Ulfwald]

You might as well join a cult and change your name to

Seldom Binlaid

When you marry, you marry the family.
But there are many good things as well:

Someone to always come home to,
Some one to share with,
Snuggles on the couch,
Movies you would never admit to wanting to watch to "the guys"
Snuggling in bed all Saturday morning
Always seeing that look in her eye that she loves you unconditionally.
Sharing things with her that you dare not admit to anyone else.

 

[bogglegum]

obligations
work
devotion

 

[bogglegum]

also no more dating,
you cant go out as much maybe and gotta do everything for the lady

 

[Stallion]

Originally posted by: BoberFett
Everyone I know who got married, myself included, gave up all their single guy toys when they got married.

Motorcycle? Gone.
Classic car? Gone.
Room full of PCs? Gone.
Snowmobile? Gone.

Every guy thinks their girl is different, but it always turns out the same.

Again I have to step in and say that isn't right 100% of the time.

Car that I've had since 1982 and drive about 100 miles a year? In Garage.
Jeep CJ-5 that only sits 2 while we have a family if 4? In the drive way.
P4 1.6A,PIII 700@933, PIII 550 Katmai, P200, 1 Ghz laptop,cat5 runing all over upstairs, numerous other junk? Sitting in room.
4 years worth of Hot Rod, Car craft and Popular hot rodding magazines and X-MEN comics from 1978 -199_ ? Sitting in closet.
Over $700 worth of Star Wars legos over 30 action figures? Hanging from ceiling and walls in Star Wars room. (She had a spare room painted with some Star Wars movie sences for my 32nd birthday.

So as you can see, I have crap all over and she has never once asked me to get rid of any of it.

If we we're starving and about to lose our house I would sell some of it but that would be my choice.

Marriage is not a terrible thing. I will not deny that some of them do not always turn out happy and joyfull but neither do all of them go to pot after 2 years.

 

[NesuD]

What will marriage really change?

The easier question to answer would what won't it change. 17 years into mine and it doesn't even remotely resemble things before we were married.

 

[Night201]

Originally posted by: Stallion
From reading some of the replies it is easy to tell alot of guys here are .. A. Not married B. being sarcastic C. clueless. I will have 8 years under my belt next week. The sex is better now then it ever was and just as plenty full. I spend plenty of money on PCs. I had a great 700@933 unit. worked great, no problems. I said I wanted a new Northwood and I started to order parts. I now have a sweet 1.6A with all the goodies. 4 years ago when I wanted to paint my Oldsmobile she said go for it. I spent 5K on paint and body parts. Last year I spent $2500. on aluminum heads and valvetrain parts for my car. last week we talked about getting rid of my 1974 CJ-5 and getting a newer jeep. I said I love my CJ, so she suggested we fix it up so it will be road worthy enough of the whole family. Right now it's mostly just an off-road unit with two front buckets. So she said why not spend $3500 and get it fixed up, new back seat, some trans work, maybe put on front disc brakes, carpet, new top... She has gained maybe 5-6 pounds (after 2 kids) since when we met while I have gained about 20. She makes more money then I do and I make quite a bit. She gives me free time to game/work on car/hang with friends and so forth. A marriage is not 50/50. Marriage is 100/100 Ok, enough from me.

Congrats! Good job on finding a great woman!

 

[Lalakai]

With marriage you cross an invisible line that forces a great deal of responsibility and committment on the two of you; it also forces you to learn even more about your mate and yourself. As someone earlier pointed out, it helps tremendously if she is also a good friend of yours. If the two of you have built a good foundation then marriage will bring even more excitement/satisfaction/emotion/communication/etc. into being. Even when you will have the inevitable (sp??) arguments, you will find yourself lowering many barriers that you wouldn't have done with someone that you were less committed to.

I met my wife in 6th grade, married her after she had gone through a divorce and we've just past 17 years of marriage. 2 kids, adopted 2 more and many others passed through our lives as foster kids, so we've tried many different ways to stress ourselves but I still don't believe I could have found any better mate/friend.

Good luck, and 5 years from now, tell us how it worked out.

 

[OITLadyOwl]

My bf and I have been together for close to 5 years. I'd be perfectly happy taking the next step after I graduate college in 4 years. I even told him that once I get a job after graduation he wouldn't have to work if he didn't want to. "Anything to keep him happy" is my motto. It sounds weird, but I'm happiest when I'm taking care of someone...I like to feel needed. LOL

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Night201

Originally posted by: Stallion
From reading some of the replies it is easy to tell alot of guys here are .. A. Not married B. being sarcastic C. clueless. I will have 8 years under my belt next week. The sex is better now then it ever was and just as plenty full. I spend plenty of money on PCs. I had a great 700@933 unit. worked great, no problems. I said I wanted a new Northwood and I started to order parts. I now have a sweet 1.6A with all the goodies. 4 years ago when I wanted to paint my Oldsmobile she said go for it. I spent 5K on paint and body parts. Last year I spent $2500. on aluminum heads and valvetrain parts for my car. last week we talked about getting rid of my 1974 CJ-5 and getting a newer jeep. I said I love my CJ, so she suggested we fix it up so it will be road worthy enough of the whole family. Right now it's mostly just an off-road unit with two front buckets. So she said why not spend $3500 and get it fixed up, new back seat, some trans work, maybe put on front disc brakes, carpet, new top... She has gained maybe 5-6 pounds (after 2 kids) since when we met while I have gained about 20. She makes more money then I do and I make quite a bit. She gives me free time to game/work on car/hang with friends and so forth. A marriage is not 50/50. Marriage is 100/100 Ok, enough from me.

Congrats! Good job on finding a great woman!

He's also won the lottery 14 times. Congrats on being very lucky Most of us don't get out so easy. Women make it their mission in life to show you that everything you've ever done in life is wrong, so you have to change it.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: redly1
- teddymines.....
Makes you the guinea pig for that experimental casserole

I have SOOOOO been there

At least she attempts to cook. Mine was boiling water to make popcorn the other night (and she burned the water on top of that!) :disgust:

 

[Rilescat]

Originally posted by: NightFlyerGTI
You're asking us this now after you're engaged, Rilescat?

Ya....I know. But, honestly, even with all the negative feedback, I still would marry her