We choose not to have children.

[Special K]

Originally posted by: Jmman

Originally posted by: adairusmc

Originally posted by: sandorski

Originally posted by: JackBurton
All I can tell you is me and my wife aren't having any kids (we've been together for 16yrs). Why? Because neither one of us can stand kids. We also like to keep all the money to ourselves. What we WILL leave the rest of humanity is the rest of the retarded parents having retarded offsprings. Have fun with that one.

And I really don't understand why people feel bad about NOT having kids. I actually feel superior to the people WITH kids. Oh, you can't do anything because you have to take care of your kid? Ok, we're going out to have some fun. Oh, you haven't taken a vacation in forever because you've had to spend all your money on your kids? Ok, well, I'll send you a post card from Japan.

Or, why don't you have kids? Ah, I've thought about that, but then I go to the Mercedes dealership and forget all about them. Oh by the way, nice mini van...and I think your kid just sh!t in his pants.

:laugh:

Best post in the thread. :thumbsup:

Ah, how cute. Just think, when you are old and gray and once again shitting in your pants, instead of your faithful children cleaning it up you will have Nurse Ratched doing it.......


It is not surprising to me that with all of the youngsters on here that many say that they will not have children, but that will change. Anyway, having children is one of the most amazing expereinces you can have in life.........

Could it not be viewed as selfish to have children just so you know you have someone to take care of you when you are older?

Then again, the plan could backfire and someone's kids may just throw them in the nursing home when they get older

 

[Gunslinger08]

Originally posted by: Special K

Originally posted by: Jmman

Originally posted by: adairusmc

Originally posted by: sandorski

Originally posted by: JackBurton
All I can tell you is me and my wife aren't having any kids (we've been together for 16yrs). Why? Because neither one of us can stand kids. We also like to keep all the money to ourselves. What we WILL leave the rest of humanity is the rest of the retarded parents having retarded offsprings. Have fun with that one.

And I really don't understand why people feel bad about NOT having kids. I actually feel superior to the people WITH kids. Oh, you can't do anything because you have to take care of your kid? Ok, we're going out to have some fun. Oh, you haven't taken a vacation in forever because you've had to spend all your money on your kids? Ok, well, I'll send you a post card from Japan.

Or, why don't you have kids? Ah, I've thought about that, but then I go to the Mercedes dealership and forget all about them. Oh by the way, nice mini van...and I think your kid just sh!t in his pants.

:laugh:

Best post in the thread. :thumbsup:

Ah, how cute. Just think, when you are old and gray and once again shitting in your pants, instead of your faithful children cleaning it up you will have Nurse Ratched doing it.......


It is not surprising to me that with all of the youngsters on here that many say that they will not have children, but that will change. Anyway, having children is one of the most amazing expereinces you can have in life.........

Could it not be viewed as selfish to have children just so you know you have someone to take care of you when you are older?

Then again, the plan could backfire and someone's kids may just throw them in the nursing home when they get older

A majority of the reasons people want to have children are selfish.

 

[fishmonger12]

Instead of having children I just go to the sperm bank. That way I can make 50$, have 100's of kids with above average intelligence, save the planet, free orgasm, etc. without having the financial and moral obligations of raising kids correctly.

If someone can find a downside to this course of action, feel free to comment.

 

[seemingly random]

Originally posted by: joshsquall
A majority of the reasons people want to have children are selfish.

or that they have just gone with the flow without thinking. Therefore they feel threatened and/or jealous with a non-conformist.

---

And I love kids - they're just not for everyone. Kudos to those who have consciously made the decision either way. And shame on those who have been damning for whatever perverted reasons.

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Originally posted by: Jmman

Originally posted by: adairusmc

Originally posted by: sandorski

Originally posted by: JackBurton
All I can tell you is me and my wife aren't having any kids (we've been together for 16yrs). Why? Because neither one of us can stand kids. We also like to keep all the money to ourselves. What we WILL leave the rest of humanity is the rest of the retarded parents having retarded offsprings. Have fun with that one.

And I really don't understand why people feel bad about NOT having kids. I actually feel superior to the people WITH kids. Oh, you can't do anything because you have to take care of your kid? Ok, we're going out to have some fun. Oh, you haven't taken a vacation in forever because you've had to spend all your money on your kids? Ok, well, I'll send you a post card from Japan.

Or, why don't you have kids? Ah, I've thought about that, but then I go to the Mercedes dealership and forget all about them. Oh by the way, nice mini van...and I think your kid just sh!t in his pants.

:laugh:

Best post in the thread. :thumbsup:

Ah, how cute. Just think, when you are old and gray and once again shitting in your pants, instead of your faithful children cleaning it up you will have Nurse Ratched doing it.......


It is not surprising to me that with all of the youngsters on here that many say that they will not have children, but that will change. Anyway, having children is one of the most amazing expereinces you can have in life.........

I know. Spare parts

 

[djheater]

Well, I'm late.

I'm 32 and have 3 kids. I had kids early, don't regret it and am happy I'll be an empty nester in my 40s

There's a very simple reason people give childless couples sh!t, it's societal pressure. Overwhlemingly our culture views parenthood as the next meaningful step in adult relationships, those that don't fulfill this role are abnormal (period). I'm not saying that's right, god knows there are too many people in the world and blessed be those who choose not to procreate, but our culture, our species, universally, as a whole, views procreation as an important step in adulthood.

I think it's fine (better than fine) if a couple decides not to have kids. Nevertheless, it's contrary to societal norms and therfore abnormal, those who do it, should not be surprised that they are persecuted. It's like a punk\piercest or emo kid being upset about being misunderstood. Get over it, you made a choice contrary to normal, don't act like the normals are the wierd ones. they aren't.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS
However, I am right most all the time and I am arrogant about it.

If only your parents had not wanted kids. :brokenheart:

 

[PolymerTim]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong
It was just a joke. Hence the smilie. I'll be long gone by the time the sun explodes...

See my subsequent post. My little girl is the light of my life, but I'm not a huge fan of other people's children...

Hehe, sometimes I sound more serious than I really am. I wasn't trying to single you out, even with the quote. I have seen this line of reasoning (from people who are serious) and was just giving my opinion on it.

Originally posted by: Special K
Could it not be viewed as selfish to have children just so you know you have someone to take care of you when you are older?

Then again, the plan could backfire and someone's kids may just throw them in the nursing home when they get older

I would argue that every decision every person makes is ultimately for selfish reasons, but that's just my weird personal philosophy. That pesky little conscience is what tips the balance for most people and allows them to make some sacrifices for other people because they would feel bad if they didn't.

 

[Gunslinger08]

Originally posted by: fishmonger12
Instead of having children I just go to the sperm bank. That way I can make 50$, have 100's of kids with above average intelligence, save the planet, free orgasm, etc. without having the financial and moral obligations of raising kids correctly.

If someone can find a downside to this course of action, feel free to comment.

http://www.google.com/search?q...rm+donor+child+support

 

[Pacfanweb]

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus

I really like the "Children are the greatest joy" comment pacfanweb. Happiness and joy can be obtained by other things in life. For you children might be the greatest joy, but for me and others on this board children would a lot of the joy from our lives. You may have never thought of this before, but to some (like myself) children would take away from our lives. You may call me selfish all you want, but I want the money I earn going to me not to supporting a child. There are many reasons I do not want a child, and that is just one of them. I (as would the other people who decide to abstain from having children) would appriciate it if you stopped trying to tell us we need to have kids, and go back to spending time with yours (if you have them). I honestly doubt you have ever had a person that didn't want children telling you how having a child was "wrong", so please don't tell us that.

See, that's why you're wrong...because YOU DON'T KNOW.

The rest of the story behind my comment is, I DID NOT WANT CHILDREN. I thought EXACTLY like you do.

Then we had our daughter....and I was DEAD WRONG.

All the stuff you think children would take away from....you don't care about it anymore.

No matter how much you can't stand other people's children, you completely change when you have your own. And you will never know this until you have your own. Until then, you cannot speak intelligently about the subject.

In my experience, older people who have CHOSEN not to have children are a bit cynical and bitter.

You seem well on the way down that path.

 

[Jenova314]

I'm actually very glad I found this thread. My wife and I are 26, and 25 respectively. We are pondering whether or not we would like to have kids. I'm leaning slightly towards not having kids, while she's leaning a bit more heavily towards wanting them. Many of the opposing reasons mentioned here are reasons that both of us can subscribe to.

We both recognize the financial consequences, and how it would affect our retirement/savings/etc. Yet we've seen how having my niece really changed my older brother for the better. She's about 1.5 yrs old right now, and I've never seen my brother smile this much before. At the same time, I'm aware of the physical/mental drain it exerted on both of them. My sister-in-law doesn't work, so it's all gravy for her. My wife, on the other hand, is working full-time, as am I.

Herein lies the most compelling reason we can think of to not have kids. We're currently taking dance classes, yoga classes at the local JC, and taking regular walks several times per week, at our own convenience. We regularly hang out with our friends/coworkers, cook nice food together several times a week, and take mini-road trips several times a year. We predict that we'll have to kiss this goodbye for at least the first 2-3 years after we have a child. On top of that, we've agreed that having 2 kids, 1~3 years apart, is the best choice, for a variety of reasons. So we're looking at anywhere from 3~6 years of nearly complete lack of "freedom" as we experience it at the moment. All of this during our primes. Sometimes I wish the female body can have kids safely and comfortably well into her 40's, but well...

So I do have some questions for the older folks (40+) who have had kids. First with the logistics... how much did your children cost? I know how that sounds, but there's really no other way for me to phrase it. My idea (at least right now) of good child-raising involves moderation in terms of what I'd buy him/her. I would be very disappointed if I raise a little devil like what I've seen on YouTube. Once they reach driving age, I would probably have an arrangement whereas they would work to pay for at least 40% of the car they would like to have, as well as the maintenance costs involved.

 

[soonerproud]

Originally posted by: Nightfall
My wife and I have been married for almost 9 years. We have been together for about 15 years in total. We have a nice home, have good jobs, and give back to the community in various ways. Yet, there are some people who choose to judge us by what we don't have.

I attended a housing meeting for our neighborhood a few weeks ago, and I was asked point blank why we don't have any kids. When I responded that we are not going to have any, I was asked if there was a problem with our relationship. My jaw almost dropped, because I have heard a lot of questions poised to me when I say we aren't having kids. This was just unanswerable.

I have heard some pretty bad responses though. My sister in law's pastor tried to turn it into a religious issue saying that god meant for us to have children and to not do so was "bad". I had an acquaintance ask if there was something biologically wrong with me.

Then I have the pressure by our parents, who can be a lot more controlled, but they want grandchildren and since we are the first married in our family its becoming more of an issue. Apparently no an answer they don't want to hear.

Since when did the choice to not have kids be a bad one? With irresponsible couples pumping out kids left and right, I would think our choice would be an unselfish one. At least to the point where I won't be questioned about our motives.

Any couples, married or otherwise, not having kids and getting the same pressure or comments from people? How do you handle it?

Don't let these morons get to you. I made the decision to never have children and I do not regret that choice one bit. I don't care what people think about my choice and will just cut them off and say it is not their decision to make.

<---39 (40 later this year) childless and proud of it!

 

[soonerproud]

Originally posted by: nonameo
I too have no desire for children. Probably for the better.

BTW, our economic model depends on population growth. I think you can infer the rest of where I'm going from that.

True, but the US and Western Europe depend more on immigration to make up for the low birth rates.

Edited to make more sense.

 

[soonerproud]

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS
What are you afraid of: resposibility, what the world will be like for your children, pain?

Though I do not agree with the reasoning of most, I think it's a horrible idea to not have children when you are intelligent, well off, and married.

A chain of information over 3 billion years old dies with you, and one with your wife.

This is a case of rational thought overriding the most basic instinct of life beyond food/water/shelter. Many times this is a good thing, like when someone calls you a dirty SOB and you decide not to murder him, or when you are flying a plane and the engine fails, you stay calm and follow the dive while trying to restart the engine rather than panic and pull up causing an uncontrollable tailspin. But in your case...

It's purely irresponsible!

It would be irresponsible to have children and not want them in the first place. Many neglected and abused children are born to parents who never wanted them.

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

Originally posted by: Nightfall
My wife and I have been married for almost 9 years. We have been together for about 15 years in total. We have a nice home, have good jobs, and give back to the community in various ways. Yet, there are some people who choose to judge us by what we don't have.

You don't realize what you are missing out on. Is your goal in life to realyl die with a fancy toombstone that says "Here lies a person that had alot of stuff?"

I attended a housing meeting for our neighborhood a few weeks ago, and I was asked point blank why we don't have any kids. When I responded that we are not going to have any, I was asked if there was a problem with our relationship. My jaw almost dropped, because I have heard a lot of questions poised to me when I say we aren't having kids. This was just unanswerable.

Your neighbor had unfortunate phrasing. To inquire about the ability to get pregnant might be OK but to question your relationship. WOW.

I have heard some pretty bad responses though. My sister in law's pastor tried to turn it into a religious issue saying that god meant for us to have children and to not do so was "bad". I had an acquaintance ask if there was something biologically wrong with me.

If you are catholic, your decision is pretty much going AGAINST the church. Your are supposed to have as many children as is financially reasonable.

Then I have the pressure by our parents, who can be a lot more controlled, but they want grandchildren and since we are the first married in our family its becoming more of an issue. Apparently no an answer they don't want to hear.

Raising kids is a tough job. Your parents went through alot of hell for you whether you like it or not. My kids are 1 and 3 right now and I already realize that I will enjoy my grandkids more because I get to spoil them and love them. Being a parent is much different from being a grandparent. You might as well trip your parents and kick them in the face a few times because from an emotional standpoint that is what you are doing. If I were your parents, I would consider disowning you.

Since when did the choice to not have kids be a bad one? With irresponsible couples pumping out kids left and right, I would think our choice would be an unselfish one. At least to the point where I won't be questioned about our motives.

People won't say it to your face, but people on the internet that don't know you will often tell the truth. If you were my neighbor and told me what you told us, I'd be very polite to your face. Then when our door closes my wife and I would both say how wierd it is and we would pretty much make a decision to not go out of our way to know you very well. That is, we would care less to be friends with you. Don't worry, I'm sure you've already noticed that your friends have a turnover rate of 5 years or so. Don't worry that trend will continue.

Any couples, married or otherwise, not having kids and getting the same pressure or comments from people? How do you handle it?

Why get married? there was/is teasing about more kids but my parents/in-laws both knew grandkids were a matter of time only.

 

[wwswimming]

i wouldn't worry about people who say it's a bad choice.

there's just as many people who say it's a good choice ! maybe more.

 

[desy]

Before I had kids my wife asked me why I wanted kids 'her reason was biological, held a baby and melted'
I told her I didn't really want kids but I figured to go through life and probably miss one major thing that makes us fundamentally human, seemed empty,
I wanted to know why most everyone enjoys kids
So far with kids 7 and 5 I understand, its a pleasure and painfull. You worry of things you never gave a crap about before and have joy in victories that aren't yours.
Ask me again once they are teenagers

 

[sestrugen]

Religion the bane of humanity.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: sestrugen
Religion the bane of humanity.

in your humble opinion.

 

[DangerAardvark]

Originally posted by: m1ldslide1
I say good for you. Whether or not you breed is a personal choice and those other people should be bitchslapped for asking you those questions. Respond by asking how much money they made last year, and if they really feel like they're achieving all they should.

The present generation seems to be more concerned with self, and if you have no kids, you can generally devote your life to yourself. I don't see a thing wrong with that, especially since the world's population will double this century because of all the asshat breeders and their selfishness and lack of foresight.

Reminds me of the Dave Chappelle bit:
"Who are you voting for?"
"Whoah there Dave, that's a little personal... so anyway, I was fucking my wife, right..."

 

[Babbles]

I never had any real desire in having kids. Now I am 30, engaged to be married and having children is something I now want. Even when the girlfriend and I started dating neither one of us cared much about breeding, but I guess lots of things change once marriage plans are in the works. To that extent we want 1 or 2 biological children but the girlfriend, and me to a degree, is very adamant about adopting a child so as to give them a chance.

I respect the choice, but in my humble opinion I would think that as one ages the desire for children probably increases but the chance of that happening decreases. I know it may sound sappy or cheesy or whatever, but when I get up there in years I really would like to be able to see myself in my children.

 

[jersiq]

Originally posted by: sestrugen
Religion the bane of humanity.

Punctuation, the bane of a less than intelligent person.

Originally posted by: Jenova314
Herein lies the most compelling reason we can think of to not have kids. We're currently taking dance classes, yoga classes at the local JC, and taking regular walks several times per week, at our own convenience. We regularly hang out with our friends/coworkers, cook nice food together several times a week, and take mini-road trips several times a year. We predict that we'll have to kiss this goodbye for at least the first 2-3 years after we have a child.

You don't have to give all of that up. They make strollers for walking kids, they make car seats for bringing them in the car. You just have to put in some proper planning beforehand. Now this doesn't take much, in fact my wife and I made up premade "kits" that have the components we need to take care of our child.

We have taken a 6 month old hiking up one of the White Mountains in New Hampshire. When that same child was younger, my wife and I took her on a ~1000 mile journey in a car.

You are only limited by how much you make yourself limited.

 

[DangerAardvark]

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS
What are you afraid of: resposibility, what the world will be like for your children, pain?

Though I do not agree with the reasoning of most, I think it's a horrible idea to not have children when you are intelligent, well off, and married.

A chain of information over 3 billion years old dies with you, and one with your wife.

This is a case of rational thought overriding the most basic instinct of life beyond food/water/shelter. Many times this is a good thing, like when someone calls you a dirty SOB and you decide not to murder him, or when you are flying a plane and the engine fails, you stay calm and follow the dive while trying to restart the engine rather than panic and pull up causing an uncontrollable tailspin. But in your case...

It's purely irresponsible!

Yes, it's a fact that not one of my ancestors died childless. Me AND EVERY OTHER FUCKIN PERSON ON THE PLANET. Reproduction on the basis of some sort of "genetic legacy" is really damn stupid. It's a responsibility that no one asked for and honestly, incredibly arrogant. As if there's something special about you and you're genes. Do you think you own your genes? It's quite the other way around. Sexual reproduction is how genes replicate THEMSELVES. "Your" genetic lineage is not yours at all. All the fucking that led to your birth was not part of some grand design to make you. You happened because you COULD happen. The only thing that separates us from other animals, in that respect, IS that we have the ability to contemplate this fact and that we can choose not to be a slave to instinct.

 

[waffleironhead]

Originally posted by: jersiq

Originally posted by: sestrugen
Religion the bane of humanity.

Punctuation, the bane of a less than intelligent person.

Oh, yes, attack, the, punctuation, not, the, idea, ,,,,,,,,,,,,...!

 

[seemingly random]

Originally posted by: jersiq
...
We have taken a 6 month old hiking up one of the White Mountains in New Hampshire. When that same child was younger, my wife and I took her on a ~1000 mile journey in a car.

You are only limited by how much you make yourself limited.

It's very strange how you reference this child. Whose child was it? Did you have permission to have it?