We choose not to have children.

[ShawnD1]

Direct quote from that link:

Prevalance Rate for Infertility:
approx 1 in 44 or 2.24% or 6.1 million people in USA [about data]

 

[queenrobot]

My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. We are both 25 and are in no rush to have kids. We are admittedly, too selfish to think about anyone other than ourselves at this point. Yet, both sides of our family and our friends all have their own opinions about how long it should be until we start reproducing. For instance, my father was against my marriage, but has bugged me since I was 22 to have a kid. I don't get it.

 

[sandorski]

Originally posted by: queenrobot
My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. We are both 25 and are in no rush to have kids. We are admittedly, too selfish to think about anyone other than ourselves at this point. Yet, both sides of our family and our friends all have their own opinions about how long it should be until we start reproducing. For instance, my father was against my marriage, but has bugged me since I was 22 to have a kid. I don't get it.

Parents are another issue. They generally want Grandchildren. They'll eventually accept not having any if that's what you choose, but they'll bug you about it for awhile.

 

[rh71]

Originally posted by: queenrobot
My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. We are both 25 and are in no rush to have kids. We are admittedly, too selfish to think about anyone other than ourselves at this point. Yet, both sides of our family and our friends all have their own opinions about how long it should be until we start reproducing. For instance, my father was against my marriage, but has bugged me since I was 22 to have a kid. I don't get it.

Maybe by having a kid together he thinks your husband whom he was so against will take the whole marriage thing seriously. Just a shot in the dark.

 

[ShawnD1]

Originally posted by: queenrobot
My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. We are both 25 and are in no rush to have kids. We are admittedly, too selfish to think about anyone other than ourselves at this point. Yet, both sides of our family and our friends all have their own opinions about how long it should be until we start reproducing. For instance, my father was against my marriage, but has bugged me since I was 22 to have a kid. I don't get it.

Time for the ultimate practical joke? Tell your parents you're pregnant. Wait 4 months. Tell them you've just had a miscarriage and that you're having an emotional breakdown.

It's probably best to keep the lie going until they die, otherwise they'll never trust you again

edit: you'd need to read wikipedia or something to fact check how this works. The story has to be scientifically possible.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Howard
I want stupid people to have less children and smart people to have more children. Too bad the reverse tends to occur.

:music:Been around the world and found:music:
:music:That only stupid people are breeding:music:
:music:The cretins cloning and feeding:music:
:music:And I don't even own a tv:music:

 

[mh47g]

Thank you for choosing to not have children. This will allow me and my future wife to reproduce without having to feel bad about being a factor in the overpopulation problems are country may have in the future.

(serious response)

 

[Bryophyte]

Have you tried simply not replying to questions that are out of line? Just stare at them in silence for several seconds and then change the subject. If they're too dumb to get a clue, then you should tell them that they are asking questions that are none of their business and that they are welcome to go just fuck off and harass someone else for awhile.

 

[queenrobot]

Originally posted by: rh71

Originally posted by: queenrobot
My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years. We are both 25 and are in no rush to have kids. We are admittedly, too selfish to think about anyone other than ourselves at this point. Yet, both sides of our family and our friends all have their own opinions about how long it should be until we start reproducing. For instance, my father was against my marriage, but has bugged me since I was 22 to have a kid. I don't get it.

Maybe by having a kid together he thinks your husband whom he was so against will take the whole marriage thing seriously. Just a shot in the dark.

I feel my husband takes our marriage seriously, but maybe my father doesn't think so. Who knows? I honestly think my father is pressuring me to have kids so much because he thinks he is going to die soon. He keeps telling me he won't make it another year even though he is only 52 and has a clean bill of health. The whole idea of marriage and having kids is stressful. At this point I would rather just get a dog and take it for walks in a stroller. :laugh:

 

[ShawnD1]

Originally posted by: mh47g
Thank you for choosing to not have children. This will allow me and my future wife to reproduce without having to feel bad about being a factor in the overpopulation problems are country may have in the future.

(serious response)

That's like saying it's ok for me to pour motor oil on the lawn simply because my neighbor isn't. While I don't think overpopulation is a problem (Americans are starving to death en masse!), your logic is still flawed.

He keeps telling me he won't make it another year even though he is only 52 and has a clean bill of health.

He owes money to the mafia. I'm almost serious. Almost.

 

[imported_Imp]

It's your choice, nothing really wrong with it. Only issue I see is that you aren't doing for 'part' in extending the life of the species and your bloodline.

On the otherhand, maybe this is good. Too many people on the planet already. Once we run out of fertilizer for food, we are screwed.

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: Mxylplyx

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
you were given the chance to live.
its called passing it on. society only survives because we reproduce. each one of us a product of an unbroken chain of ancestors that didn't fail to do their duty. if you choose to weed yourself out, well fine. they question because sometimes people regret the decision not to. the clock ticks despite all the hype about fertility treatments. and some people realize too late they waited too long.
as for irresponsible parents pumping out children. well if good people do nothing....

Couldnt have said it better myself. The world becomes a better place when responsible people pass on their values to another generation. If you decide to not pass on your values and experiences, assuming you and your wife are morally upstanding people, I think thats unfortunate, and frankly a bit selfish, especially if either of you are single children, and have parents who would like to have grandchildren.

yup, they work from a position of selfishness. contribute nothing real to the future of humanity. all your good works mean nothing if you don't create another generation. frankly you give up your right to complain about much, like a person who chooses not to vote. sometimes being an adult and responsible is not to indulge in every happiness with abandon. as for the idea that you shouldn't have children because the world is a sh*thole, that is total nonsense. people have said that at every time in history. with that line of reasoning one shouldn't vote. why bother. its a total cop out to justify self indulgent behavior and reasoning.

 

[waffleironhead]

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS


I am free to go out in public and shout ***** from the rooftops, but it is irresponsible. Can you see how freedom and irresponsibility are not mutually exclusive? NEXT!

Fear is absolutely the motivation behind this. Fear is the motivation behind 99% of all decisions.

OMG, this forum has automatically censored me. YOU KNOW THERE ARE TIMES AND PLACES WHERE SO-CALLED BAD WORDS ARE NOT ONLY NON-OFFENSIVE, BUT REQUISITE!

So was it fear that made you come into this thread an be an asshat, or were you suddenly acting on that 1% non-fear mode?

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

Originally posted by: ShawnD1
Time for the ultimate practical joke? Tell your parents you're pregnant. Wait 4 months. Tell them you've just had a miscarriage and that you're having an emotional breakdown.

Not even remotely funny :thumbsdown:

 

[Ns1]

contribute nothing real to the future of humanity

I think another 6 billion people got that covered


Seriously, wtf.

 

[Jeff7]

There was something in Newsweek about this several months ago. Someone didn't have any kids, and she'd be asked at work about it, or belittled by other women who did have them. It's kind of stupid to use kids as a status symbol, part of the society of whoever has the most stuff wins. Apparently this even includes children. Can't we grow the hell up, as a species, and do away with all this primitive behavior? "OMG look at my kids! They're better than yours! Oh, you don't have any? I'm therefore 100x better than you!" *chestbeating continues*


My sister has no plans to have kids any time soon. Ever? I don't know.

I really don't see myself ever having kids, unless they invent a way of switching them off at any time. I also don't see that happening any time soon. I think my parents were figuring I'd be married by now, and they might even have grandkids; I know they were looking forward to the latter.
I do know that kids require a lot of time and personal attention. I also know that I'm really not willing to invest those kinds of resources. The amusing paradox is that this kind of awareness is what can make for a good parent, rather than the sort of idiots who just have random sex without giving a damn about the possibility of pregnancies. For them, a kid is just an annoying and expensive side effect of their hedonism. They're the sort who have entire litters of offspring, rather than being responsible, and trying to help keep a lid on overpopulation.


I too think it sucks that it's assumed that every couple will follow through with the whole reproduction thing. Geez, if that's the only damn reason anyone's here, the women of the world would be getting impregnated every 9 months without fail, for life would be utterly meaningless otherwise. So what, you don't want kids? Fine, your choice. Other people shouldn't be so abrasive about it.
I guess the other option might be to find creative ways of returning the abrasiveness. Maybe something along the lines of: "I think you should have kids because you have a strong desire to do so, and you know that you can raise an intelligent, independent individual. You should not do so simply because society pressures you into doing so, or because you want another 'thing' to brag about to your friends. If you do it for that reason, it just shows what a weak, shallow person you really are."

 

[Gunslinger08]

I don't plan to have children. My family seems to have no issue with it, but that may be because my parents already have grandchildren. My girlfriends family is another story completely.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS

Originally posted by: Xavier434

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS

Originally posted by: sirjonk

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS
What are you afraid of: resposibility, what the world will be like for your children, pain?

Though I do not agree with the reasoning of most, I think it's a horrible idea to not have children when you are intelligent, well off, and married.

A chain of information over 3 billion years old dies with you, and one with your wife.

This is a case of rational thought overriding the most basic instinct of life beyond food/water/shelter. Many times this is a good thing, like when someone calls you a dirty SOB and you decide not to murder him, or when you are flying a plane and the engine fails, you stay calm and follow the dive while trying to restart the engine rather than panic and pull up causing an uncontrollable tailspin. But in your case...

It's purely irresponsible!

No, having and raising children you don't want is irresponsible.

Yes, it is, if this is the state mind you are FIXED in. However, this state of mind IS ABSOLUTELY A PSYCHOSIS!

You really are making a mountain out of a mole hill. What the hell do you really think is going to happen if this guy chooses not to have kids that is so terrible and irresponsible? Honestly man, you really need to learn how to choose your battles more wisely.

To me personally nothing. This is a moral argument. I will also neither benefit or lose anything from convincing someone not to commit suicide, but I will tell them not to all the same. This is a form of suicide, whether you see it that way or not. It is also a form of murder, which I was not the first or only person in this thread to point out.

Okay before you reproduce (which I hope you don't for humanities sake, but thats another issue entirely since you are dead set on it), you may want to educate yourself and not take your religion/families advice about kids. From www.merriam-webster.com the definition of murder is:

1: the crime of unlawfully killing a person especially with malice aforethought

You cannot kill a dead person (except those pesky zombies that won't stay dead). Just in case you want to say some short sighted comment about the killing part of that here is the definition of kill:

1 a: to deprive of life

So please tell me how exactly I am killing my ancestors that are already dead?

On to the next issue with your definitions. Here is the definition of suicide.

1 a: the act or an instance of taking one's own life voluntarily and intentionally especially by a person of years of discretion and of sound mind

I am not taking my own life by not having children. I am going to die one day period. You might have a case if humans died at 25 if they didn't have kids, but I am not taking my own life by not having kids. I fail to see any possible way you can confuse suicide with not having kids. Not having kids is not the same as shooting/hanging/cutting/etc myself.

Since the first two points are related I will sum them up for you into one point. I cannot kill dead people (excluding those damn zombies again), and I cannot commit suicide by not having kids. The only case you MIGHT be able to make is the choice of foregoing having children is familicide, but even that is a massive stretch (since it is committing murder which we have established already means there has to be life involved, and since there is no life it cannot be murder so even this breaks down under a logical examination).

Finally statistically the more educated and affluent you are the less children you have. Now imagine that, more education means less kids I wonder why. Did you ever stop to think that this planet cannot continue to support this irresponsible reproduction of our species? If you don't think humanity has population issues then why does China have their One Child per Couple (OCPC) act? Did you ever stop to think that was because they knew that having 3, 4, 5, 6, or more children is not sustainable over a long period of time?

Look at the "Four-Two-One" problem (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O...ur-Two-One.22_problem). Who supports an elderly population? The younger generation (usually children and/or the government) which means that in order for a couple to be supported by their children (solely that is) they need to have more as a single child cannot do it. Now we have an exponential growth issue of couples having 3+ kids each.

Play with this math a bit and see what happens when you take say 4 billion people (a low estimate for sure) that get married and have kids. You have 2 billion couples that we will say have kids at 25, and what happens if each couple has an average of 3 kids? Now you have 2 billion+3 billion which is 5 billion. In 25 years you still have the majority of the first 2 billion couples you started with, plus now that 3 billion is is having 3 kids each. So 2 billion starting + 3 billion (1.5 bil couples) + their 4.5 bil children = 9.5 billion people in 50 years. Yes these are simple numbers and it is much more complicated then that, but it shows a point.

So in conclusion you have tried to convince people that do not have kids they are murdering their dead ancestors (excluding zombies again, you cannot do it without a time machine), committing suicide (not having children != killing yourself), and they are killing humanity (which people like you are doing a great job on your own by reproducing too much). Now please do the human race (that you say we need to reproduce to continue) a favor and go get snipped so you don't screw up the gene pool.

 

[Ns1]

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS

Originally posted by: Xavier434

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS

Originally posted by: sirjonk

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS
What are you afraid of: resposibility, what the world will be like for your children, pain?

Though I do not agree with the reasoning of most, I think it's a horrible idea to not have children when you are intelligent, well off, and married.

A chain of information over 3 billion years old dies with you, and one with your wife.

This is a case of rational thought overriding the most basic instinct of life beyond food/water/shelter. Many times this is a good thing, like when someone calls you a dirty SOB and you decide not to murder him, or when you are flying a plane and the engine fails, you stay calm and follow the dive while trying to restart the engine rather than panic and pull up causing an uncontrollable tailspin. But in your case...

It's purely irresponsible!

No, having and raising children you don't want is irresponsible.

Yes, it is, if this is the state mind you are FIXED in. However, this state of mind IS ABSOLUTELY A PSYCHOSIS!

You really are making a mountain out of a mole hill. What the hell do you really think is going to happen if this guy chooses not to have kids that is so terrible and irresponsible? Honestly man, you really need to learn how to choose your battles more wisely.

To me personally nothing. This is a moral argument. I will also neither benefit or lose anything from convincing someone not to commit suicide, but I will tell them not to all the same. This is a form of suicide, whether you see it that way or not. It is also a form of murder, which I was not the first or only person in this thread to point out.

-snip-

YOU CANNOT BE RIGHT. SphinxnihpS IS 100% GUARANTEED CORRECT. ALL THE TIME. ALWAYS.

 

[DisgruntledVirus]

Originally posted by: Ns1

Originally posted by: DisgruntledVirus

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS

Originally posted by: Xavier434

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS

Originally posted by: sirjonk

Originally posted by: SphinxnihpS
What are you afraid of: resposibility, what the world will be like for your children, pain?

Though I do not agree with the reasoning of most, I think it's a horrible idea to not have children when you are intelligent, well off, and married.

A chain of information over 3 billion years old dies with you, and one with your wife.

This is a case of rational thought overriding the most basic instinct of life beyond food/water/shelter. Many times this is a good thing, like when someone calls you a dirty SOB and you decide not to murder him, or when you are flying a plane and the engine fails, you stay calm and follow the dive while trying to restart the engine rather than panic and pull up causing an uncontrollable tailspin. But in your case...

It's purely irresponsible!

No, having and raising children you don't want is irresponsible.

Yes, it is, if this is the state mind you are FIXED in. However, this state of mind IS ABSOLUTELY A PSYCHOSIS!

You really are making a mountain out of a mole hill. What the hell do you really think is going to happen if this guy chooses not to have kids that is so terrible and irresponsible? Honestly man, you really need to learn how to choose your battles more wisely.

To me personally nothing. This is a moral argument. I will also neither benefit or lose anything from convincing someone not to commit suicide, but I will tell them not to all the same. This is a form of suicide, whether you see it that way or not. It is also a form of murder, which I was not the first or only person in this thread to point out.

-snip-

YOU CANNOT BE RIGHT. SphinxnihpS IS 100% GUARANTEED CORRECT. ALL THE TIME. ALWAYS.

Oh right, how could I forget such a thing?

 

[JackBurton]

All I can tell you is me and my wife aren't having any kids (we've been together for 16yrs). Why? Because neither one of us can stand kids. We also like to keep all the money to ourselves. What we WILL leave the rest of humanity is the rest of the retarded parents having retarded offsprings. Have fun with that one.

And I really don't understand why people feel bad about NOT having kids. I actually feel superior to the people WITH kids. Oh, you can't do anything because you have to take care of your kid? Ok, we're going out to have some fun. Oh, you haven't taken a vacation in forever because you've had to spend all your money on your kids? Ok, well, I'll send you a post card from Japan.

Or, why don't you have kids? Ah, I've thought about that, but then I go to the Mercedes dealership and forget all about them. Oh by the way, nice mini van...and I think your kid just sh!t in his pants.

 

[sandorski]

Originally posted by: JackBurton
All I can tell you is me and my wife aren't having any kids (we've been together for 16yrs). Why? Because neither one of us can stand kids. We also like to keep all the money to ourselves. What we WILL leave the rest of humanity is the rest of the retarded parents having retarded offsprings. Have fun with that one.

And I really don't understand why people feel bad about NOT having kids. I actually feel superior to the people WITH kids. Oh, you can't do anything because you have to take care of your kid? Ok, we're going out to have some fun. Oh, you haven't taken a vacation in forever because you've had to spend all your money on your kids? Ok, well, I'll send you a post card from Japan.

Or, why don't you have kids? Ah, I've thought about that, but then I go to the Mercedes dealership and forget all about them. Oh by the way, nice mini van...and I think your kid just sh!t in his pants.

:laugh:

 

[Ns1]

Originally posted by: JackBurton
Because neither one of us can stand kids. We also like to keep all the money to

damnit, that's exactly how I feel.

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: Nightfall
My wife and I have been married for almost 9 years. We have been together for about 15 years in total. We have a nice home, have good jobs, and give back to the community in various ways. Yet, there are some people who choose to judge us by what we don't have.

I attended a housing meeting for our neighborhood a few weeks ago, and I was asked point blank why we don't have any kids. When I responded that we are not going to have any, I was asked if there was a problem with our relationship. My jaw almost dropped, because I have heard a lot of questions poised to me when I say we aren't having kids. This was just unanswerable.

I have heard some pretty bad responses though. My sister in law's pastor tried to turn it into a religious issue saying that god meant for us to have children and to not do so was "bad". I had an acquaintance ask if there was something biologically wrong with me.

Then I have the pressure by our parents, who can be a lot more controlled, but they want grandchildren and since we are the first married in our family its becoming more of an issue. Apparently no an answer they don't want to hear.

Since when did the choice to not have kids be a bad one? With irresponsible couples pumping out kids left and right, I would think our choice would be an unselfish one. At least to the point where I won't be questioned about our motives.

Any couples, married or otherwise, not having kids and getting the same pressure or comments from people? How do you handle it?

Next time they ask, ask them how something so personal could be any of their business. /annlanders

 

[PolymerTim]

I don't think there's anything wrong with not having kids. That's a personal choice that every couple has to make and, even though it sometimes is based on selfish desires, I don't see how it has any negative impact on humanity (or anything else for that matter). I agree with a lot of what I've seen posted here, but rather than quoting a bunch of replies, I'll just sum up some of my thoughts:

-There are many ways to have a lasting effect (positive or negative) in this world and leaving offspring is only one of them.

-Choosing not to have children should not be insulting to your ancestors. Their choices had a lasting impact on this world and one of them was to have a child/children. Their children will make their own choices and have their own impact on this world regardless of whether they have children of their own.

-The earth can not sustain indefinite population growth. I don't claim to know just how many people the earth can support or how fast we are getting there, but any third grader can see the number of people on the planet is increasing, but the planet isn't getting any bigger. If we average more than 2 kids per couple we increase the population. Considering how many couples are having more than 3 or 4 kids, I would say we definitely need couples with 0-1 kids to help balance things out.

-If you are trying to save the world by populating it with more "smart" people, I have to agree with the previous poster that you will never win. I believe to win that race, you would need to produce an irresponsible number of children, which is a big part of the problem in the first place.

-Saying it goes against human nature and instinct to not have children is similar to saying we shouldn't resist our urge to consume fats. Of course fats are a required part of the human diet and we crave them for this reason, but fats are much easier to find now than they used to be and I think the obesity problem in America (and increasingly in other places)is a perfect example of what happens when we satisfy our natural cravings without restraint. Yes, procreation is needed for continued human survival, but overpopulation could kill us all. You don't have to chop down the tree (VHEMT), but sometimes you do need to prune the branches to keep the tree healthy.

And last but not least, I would like to finish with one of my favorite sayings: Life is a journey not a destination. The fact that you are survived by biological offspring is not nearly as important as what you do with your life while you are here.