Things We Can Do To The Moon

[WoodenPupa]

These questions may not be *highly* technical, but I require technical answers of the highest precision. Here goes.

First, I think it's obvious that we can't leave the moon unmolested. At a certain point in time, we're going to have to alter the thing to suit our (mankind's) particular needs. Kind of like, a lot of women would get plastic surgery to change their bodies/faces, IF they had the money. It's human nature to want to alter or own, or merge with other, entities after a period of time, regardless of sensibility.

1) Now, the moon is a big rock. Can we destroy the thing? Yes, it would have disastrous consequences without a plan in mind, but nevermind that for the moment. Do we have enough nuclear power to pound it into oblivion? To blast it to bits? I would have to guess no, but what would happen if we concentrated all the nukes at the same spot, one after the other? wouldn't that create craters within craters, until the core was reached?

2) Can the moon be vacuumed of all it's dirt and dust, then covered in a tight layer of tin foil? Don't knock this idea too fast---it just might be crazy enough to work. You build some orbital space stations, and send down hordes of automated vacuuming robots---maybe some people too. The damn thing is so freakin' dirty, wouldn't it be nice to clean it up? Anyway, due to the low escape velocity, giant bags of dirt could be launched from the surface and gotten rid of rather easily. It might take a couple decades, but do-able for sure. Now the tricky part. What would be the most efficient way to cover this giant ball in tin foil? The whole idea of getting rid of the dirt was to creat a nice, smooth surface for the tin foil so that it could be wrapped tightly. So now that we have that done, the moon is just begging for a massive Reynold's Wrap Planetary Tin Foil Mummification. The benefit of covering it in tinfoil, of course, is to make it incredibly shiny, and thus a massive secondary source of light and therefore a source of energy.

3) Could we carve a giant smily face into the moon? How would this be done? I mean, we're talking about massive ridges for the round circular body and eyes, and craters for the eyeballs. It would have to be done with great care. (You couldn't have just a bunch of hacks up there screwing up the job---professionals only here). Considering the massive scale of some sculpted projects on Earth, such as the Sphinx and Mt. Rushmore, I think this could be done if we really applied ourselves.

I have other lunar concepts, but these are the most important. Any serious replies would be greatly appreciated.

 

[icejunkie]

wow.

 

[MetalStorm]

I like the idea of covering it in tin foil personally, in fact, it would be possible to make it in to a huge mirror ball so everyone can put on some music and dance!

 

[jamesbond007]

What the hell have you been smokin'? Can I have some?

 

[WoodenPupa]

Originally posted by: MetalStorm
I like the idea of covering it in tin foil personally, in fact, it would be possible to make it in to a huge mirror ball so everyone can put on some music and dance!

I hadn't thought about the dance factor. That is a really nice idea. In fact, you may have inadvertently stumbled upon the lunar origins! It isn't such a stretch to imagine that the moon may have been a giant disco ball for Loki and the giants way back in the day. Then along came modern man and we let the damn thing burn out, like idiots. I'd say if we want any chance at all at pleasing the gods again, we get this idea in motion and I mean QUICK. I mean it won't be a lighted globe as such but the tin foil is a start, and I think all Zeus and co. are looking for is a little effort.

 

[Monkey muppet]

Originally posted by: WoodenPupa
These questions may not be *highly* technical, but I require technical answers of the highest precision. Here goes.

First, I think it's obvious that we can't leave the moon unmolested. At a certain point in time, we're going to have to alter the thing to suit our (mankind's) particular needs. Kind of like, a lot of women would get plastic surgery to change their bodies/faces, IF they had the money. It's human nature to want to alter or own, or merge with other, entities after a period of time, regardless of sensibility.

1) Now, the moon is a big rock. Can we destroy the thing? Yes, it would have disastrous consequences without a plan in mind, but nevermind that for the moment. Do we have enough nuclear power to pound it into oblivion? To blast it to bits? I would have to guess no, but what would happen if we concentrated all the nukes at the same spot, one after the other? wouldn't that create craters within craters, until the core was reached?

2) Can the moon be vacuumed of all it's dirt and dust, then covered in a tight layer of tin foil? Don't knock this idea too fast---it just might be crazy enough to work. You build some orbital space stations, and send down hordes of automated vacuuming robots---maybe some people too. The damn thing is so freakin' dirty, wouldn't it be nice to clean it up? Anyway, due to the low escape velocity, giant bags of dirt could be launched from the surface and gotten rid of rather easily. It might take a couple decades, but do-able for sure. Now the tricky part. What would be the most efficient way to cover this giant ball in tin foil? The whole idea of getting rid of the dirt was to creat a nice, smooth surface for the tin foil so that it could be wrapped tightly. So now that we have that done, the moon is just begging for a massive Reynold's Wrap Planetary Tin Foil Mummification. The benefit of covering it in tinfoil, of course, is to make it incredibly shiny, and thus a massive secondary source of light and therefore a source of energy.

3) Could we carve a giant smily face into the moon? How would this be done? I mean, we're talking about massive ridges for the round circular body and eyes, and craters for the eyeballs. It would have to be done with great care. (You couldn't have just a bunch of hacks up there screwing up the job---professionals only here). Considering the massive scale of some sculpted projects on Earth, such as the Sphinx and Mt. Rushmore, I think this could be done if we really applied ourselves.

I have other lunar concepts, but these are the most important. Any serious replies would be greatly appreciated.

You forgot number 4.

4) Mount a 'freeking' laser on it and ask for 1miiiiiiiilion dollors

 

[TStep]

isn't that lazooooooor?

 

[WoodenPupa]

Originally posted by: jamesbond007
What the hell have you been smokin'? Can I have some?

I already sent it to you in a few years from now in my Cadillac Tachyon DeVille, all leather interior, pimp white time machine.

 

[Gibsons]

1) Now, the moon is a big rock. Can we destroy the thing? Yes, it would have disastrous consequences without a plan in mind, but nevermind that for the moment. Do we have enough nuclear power to pound it into oblivion? To blast it to bits? I would have to guess no, but what would happen if we concentrated all the nukes at the same spot, one after the other? wouldn't that create craters within craters, until the core was reached?

we might be able to shatter it, but it would take something like a few million times the worlds current nuclear arsenal. (cite - random guesswork)

2) Can the moon be vacuumed of all it's dirt and dust, then covered in a tight layer of tin foil?

Probably easier to cover ones head. And just as beneficial.

The benefit of covering it in tinfoil, of course, is to make it incredibly shiny, and thus a massive secondary source of light and therefore a source of energy.

Why not just put giant solar panels on it? or in orbit.

3) Could we carve a giant smily face into the moon? How would this be done?

Chairface Chippendale tried something like this in an episode of "The Tick," he was going to write his name. Fortunately The Tick and Arthur stopped him, but only after he he got the "Cha."

 

[WoodenPupa]

"we might be able to shatter it, but it would take something like a few million times the worlds current nuclear arsenal. (cite - random guesswork)"

What about the nuclear pounding of it in the same spot over and over? The merciless, brutal, pounding repetition of the white mushrooming nukes?

Wait a minute...I guess we can break the moon afterall by assembling a collossal, white-gloved fist in a red box, collapsed on a scissor-arm, with nanobots. That fist'll crack the hell out of the moon if unleashed. We can have John Madden telestrate it with the x's and o's and scrawly lines..."Boom!"

Seriously though, I believe in the nuke idea. If anything, it would be a great way of getting rid of the world's nuclear stockpile. And what a show it would be! Telescope sales would be WAY up. And no, I don't work for any of the major telescope companies.

 

[MetalStorm]

But if the moon was to be smashed in to millions of pieces, then the cheese markets in France would crash, all those cheese meteorites would produce a massive cheese surplus over the entire world, and might give the fish cheese poisoning effectively making thousands of species extinct.

 

[AbsolutDealage]

Originally posted by: WoodenPupa
"we might be able to shatter it, but it would take something like a few million times the worlds current nuclear arsenal. (cite - random guesswork)"

What about the nuclear pounding of it in the same spot over and over? The merciless, brutal, pounding repetition of the white mushrooming nukes?

Wait a minute...I guess we can break the moon afterall by assembling a collossal, white-gloved fist in a red box, collapsed on a scissor-arm, with nanobots. That fist'll crack the hell out of the moon if unleashed. We can have John Madden telestrate it with the x's and o's and scrawly lines..."Boom!"

Seriously though, I believe in the nuke idea. If anything, it would be a great way of getting rid of the world's nuclear stockpile. And what a show it would be! Telescope sales would be WAY up. And no, I don't work for any of the major telescope companies.

Naaahhhh.... all we need to do is enlist the help of Harry Stamper, the world's best oil driller and his band of miscreants. Drill a hole, drop a nuke, and get the hell out of dodge. Throw some Liv Tyler in there and you've got yourself Armageddon deuce...

 

[EightySix Four]

I thought we had enough nukes on the earth at the moment to blow the earth up multiple times, much less the moon?

 

[MrYAK]

with the worlds stockpile of nukes, you could wipe out the worlds population twice over, but to say we have enough nukes to blow it the earth multiple times...let alone just once is far from the truth. i doubt we(the world) have enough nukes to reach the core hitting the same spot over and over. most of the energy from the blast will move outwards from the point of most resistance so to speak(the impact site) thus creating a lage, big a$$ crater.

 

[bobsmith1492]

Armageddon - you have to drill to the center first then blow it up.

How about make a giant array of moveable mirrors on it so that you can light the earth up at night if you want?

Oh, and how long until this gets locked ?!??!??

 

[imported_jb]

are there laws against covering the moon in tinfoil? does the UN have say over that or are we allowed to w/ personal spacecrafts? you could probably get it done w/ just a satellite or two orbiting the moon w/ some big rolls of aluminum foil. satellites might be too fast tho.. you could maybe reinforce the edges of the rolls w/ duct tape or something.

 

[WoodenPupa]

MetalStorm, I had thought the France cheesmarket thing was disproven, but I'll recheck my data.

Everyone else, thanks for the highly technical info. I learned a lot.

I must say I'm disappointed that our nuclear stockpile can't penetrate to the moon's core. The optimist in me can't accept that. For that reason I'm going to encourage Korea's development in the hopes that one day the world can join together and pound the crap out of our heavenly satellite.

So the moon thinks it's tough just because we can't pound it out with our current stockpile? I'm not giving up.

As far as ideas from the movie Armageddon, well, that was Hollywood. I'm talking about reality here.

Once again, thanks to everyone.

 

[Calin]

Covering the moon in tinfoil won't make it more shiny - as the tin foil will reflect the light much more "precisely". I mean, the center of the Moon will look a lot shinier, but on the sides the tinfoil will reflect the light in other directions - so it won't be shiny but dark.
However, make the tin foil in panels and orientate them so they will reflect solar light to Earth, and you could increase the light from moon around 10 times (I guess). Too bad you must change the panel's orientation often

 

[WoodenPupa]

Originally posted by: Calin
Covering the moon in tinfoil won't make it more shiny - as the tin foil will reflect the light much more "precisely". I mean, the center of the Moon will look a lot shinier, but on the sides the tinfoil will reflect the light in other directions - so it won't be shiny but dark.
However, make the tin foil in panels and orientate them so they will reflect solar light to Earth, and you could increase the light from moon around 10 times (I guess). Too bad you must change the panel's orientation often

Great. So now my tinfoil idea gets shot down too. You know this is like telling a kid that Santa Claus doesn't exist? I hope you're happy.

 

[MetalStorm]

Well if we don't have enough nukes to blow that cosmic ball of cheese to pieces then it might be possible to genetically engineer mice so that they can live in space and then slowly eat their way through the moon.

Of course, we will have to be ready with a contingency plan of genetically engineered cats, to eat said mice if something goes wrong - like they stop eating the cheese and instead make great mouse sized fortresses with lasers on the walls and a moat and then plot an invasion of earth.

 

[ribbon13]

A Tesla Oscillator about the size of a Honda Civic could effectively crack the moon in half.

 

[ahurtt]

Drugs're bad, m'kay?

First why do you want to nuke the moon into oblivion? Second, if you do that, how will you cover it in tinfoil? Also, the same side of the moon always faces Earth so you only have to cover 1 side of it in tinfoil. Not the whole thing. As for the smiley face, I'd suggest just programming the automated vaccuuming robots to do that task while they're at it.

 

[ribbon13]

Why don't we develop a mini bio-level of lichens and something that eats the lichens which can survive vacuum to make cheese? Then the moon really would be made out of cheese.

 

[MetalStorm]

Originally posted by: ribbon13
Why don't we develop a mini bio-level of lichens and something that eats the lichens which can survive vacuum to make cheese? Then the moon really would be made out of cheese.

Are you trying to say that the moon isn't cheese? I think you are mistaken:Q

 

[Creideike]

I think I have become more stupid as a result of reading this thread.....ty for the laugh