The crappest film you will ever see is....

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JasonCoder

Golden Member
Feb 23, 2005
1,893
1
81
Originally posted by: Newfie
I could not watch ultraviolet, I gave it 30 minutes until it became utterly incomprehensible. Alone in the Dark is another terrible example of a movie that I had the dis-pleasure to watch.
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I have to 2nd the Alone in the Dark... movie... if that's what you want to call it. I had the great misfortune to waste $4 renting this piece of shit.

This craptacular borefest of a superbly god awful retarded story line should be held up as a shining example of why video games shouldn't be made into movies. I've seen better plot in pron.
 
Chaotic42

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
35,368
2,490
126
Originally posted by: sandorski
It was/is way overhyped and over rated. Not a bad movie, just doesn't live up to expectations.
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I just got my copy back today and the guy didn't like it. It went on to my boss. I'll let you know if anyone in the office says anything nice about the movie. :p
 
hanoverphist

hanoverphist

Diamond Member
Dec 7, 2006
9,867
23
76
Originally posted by: rbV5
I would have gone with "Borat" or maybe "Freddy Got Fingered".

Borat surprised me since I heard many glowing reviews...wow! what a crapfest save a couple brief "moments". I don't think I laughed a single time in Tom Green's crapsterpiece however.
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ditto here. i was ready to break the tv about 30 min into borat. tom green just sucks anyway, no movie can make it better. even one with lesboid scenes with milla and michele pfeiffer totally nude.


i do hate it when i see these lists and like the majority of the movies you guys say suck bad. i guess i dont have very high expectations for any movie, so im not disappointed when they arent epic.
 
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yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Every time we have some of these threads we get dozens of posts with people naming movies like "the matrix" or some other movie that the majority loved as the worst of all time. People obviously get off on being controversial and going against the grain.

You might not have liked a particular movie, and I can't fault you for that. However, unless you've only watched that one movie, you can't seriously believe that critically acclaimed movie "x" was the worst movie of all time. I admit that high expectations can make a movie seem worse than it actually was, but if you're honest with yourself and others, you'll admit that you've seen much worse.
 
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Ricochet

Diamond Member
Oct 31, 1999
6,390
19
81
Following yowolabi's train of thought "Children of Men" should not even be mentioned in this thread. Sure some people don't like it, appreciate it, or understand it but for gawd's sake understand there is a big enough fan base to counter your claim. IMO it is one of the better movies released in recent years. Some people do like the occasional departure from the normal Hollywood fare.
 
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yowolabi

Diamond Member
Jun 29, 2001
4,183
2
81
Originally posted by: ricochet
Following yowolabi's train of thought "Children of Men" should not even be mentioned in this thread. Sure some people don't like it, appreciate it, or understand it but for gawd's sake understand there is a big enough fan base to counter your claim. IMO it is one of the better movies released in recent years. Some people do like the occasional departure from the normal Hollywood fare.
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That is one of the movies I had in mind. The question wasn't "what movie disappointed you" or "the most overhyped movie", it was "the crappiest film you will ever see". I don't believe that anyone who saw that movie has never seen worse.

Someone mentioned "Before Sunset" above. Although I thought that was one of the best movies I've seen, at least I could understand that. For a certain person, a 77 minute movie that is one long conversation between two people could be terrible, if you don't understand or are uninterested in the conversation.
 
BurnItDwn

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,376
1,885
126
It is obvious to me that you have not seen Geek Maggot Bingo

Geek Maggot Bingo is the worst pile of horse crap ever invented.

I know I am pretty much quoting myself from a post I made in March but this movie is so terrible it warrants it.

I've seen quite a few "bad" movies. One of my guilty pleasures is that sometimes, I even enjoy "bad" movies. None have ever come close to being as unwatchable or pathetic as Geek Maggot Bingo

For those who enjoy bad movies, do not waste your time with this garbage. It is an insult to the word garbage. It is absolutely the least interesting movie I have ever made an effort to sit through and stay awake. This was so bad that I didn't even make it through 15 minutes. I even tried watching it drunk, and I still didn't make it past 15 minutes without putting something else on.

It is pure crap. It is absolutely the worst movie I have ever seen or heard of BY A LONG SHOT.

The Quick and the Undead is a stunning MASTER WORK OF GENIUS compared to Geek Maggot Bingo.

To compare this to any other movie is an insult to every other movie. I apologize to all professionals and armatures involved in any step of the process of acting or film making for making that comparison.

And for the record, Battlefield Earth is not as bad as The Quick and the Undead. Anybody who says "battlefield earth is the worst movie ever" is completely off base. Battlefield Earth is a heaping pile of crap. It is one of the top 10 worst movies I've ever seen but it's infinitely better than another movie that was a horrible piece of crap that would by comparison still be the greatest movie ever compared to geek maggot bingo.


I would find much more artistic value and entertainment in watching Tom Green do an impression of the Verizon Guy saying "do you hear me now" with that fvcking annoying voice in an infinite loop than watch Geek Maggot Bingo. There is no fair comparison to Geek Maggot Bingo. No other movie ever created has been as bad, or could be as bad, as Geek Maggot Bingo. The worst Youtube movie is astronomically better that Geek Maggot Bingo. The worst single frame of the worst Youtube movie is better. Geek Maggot Bingo is the lowest of the low. It is the worst of the worst. It is absolute horrible garbage. It is terrible.

If you look up the word "substandard" in a thesaurus, every word in every definition is infinitly better than Geek Maggot Bingo. Calling it fecal matter would be an insult to fecal matter. I do not like Geek Maggot Bingo. I could not sit through it. I want people to be aware of the existence of this movie, and then make an effort not to be exposed to it because it is so crappy. I beg of you all, do not ever watch Geek Maggot Bingo. It is extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely extremely terrible.


Cliff Notes:
Battlefield Earth Sucks
The Quick and the Undead sucks worse
Geek Maggot Bingo Sucks the worst by an infinite margain. It is infinity factorial extremely to the infinite power terrible. Do not watch it.
 
BurnItDwn

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,376
1,885
126
Also ...
I have never done this before.
I don't think what I've said has ever applied to this before

But I do believe... /thread
 
So

So

Lifer
Jul 2, 2001
25,923
17
81
Damnation alley, staring George Peppard driving a makeshift RV / Tank through a post apocalyptic southwest including a stop and an abandoned, sand filled, Circus Circus hotel in las vegas...an giant cockroaches IIRC.
 
videogames101

videogames101

Diamond Member
Aug 24, 2005
6,783
27
91
Originally posted by: Parasitic
ATOT's general idea of a good film probably involves Jessica Alba and Megan Fox bearing frontal nudity posing as dancers and infiltrating a computer hacker group with a strip club front controlled by the mafia Don Al Pacino and his right hand man Clive Owen. In the process they have Jessica Biel and that girl from 24 as backup computer hacking duo in a steamy bar and grill wearing white t-shirts grilling steaks on charcoal and hacking into the internets in between scenes. Also Allison Stokke (sp?), Halle Berry and Kiera Knightley would be the front assault woman wielding gigantic poles and rocket-sized machines blasting everything to bits. etc. etc with the end scene of all the women enter this dark room fully naked and having to hand fight in the mud with Clive Owen and that guy from Snatch. During all of this there is also some weird lesbianic vibe developing in between a couple of women but anyways that's for later.
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10/10

you win :beer:
 
W

Wuffsunie

Platinum Member
May 4, 2002
2,808
0
0
Has anyone seen the new(-ish) movie Perfume? I have a friend who rants that it's the most worthless piece of garbage ever to be given a good trailer.
 
Kanalua

Kanalua

Diamond Member
Jun 14, 2001
4,860
2
81
Supernova...

my wife got our money back from the theater...a $1 theater...on a special $0.50 student night...
 
S

Shame

Platinum Member
Dec 28, 2001
2,730
0
71
Originally posted by: goobee
1995 "A Walk in the Clouds" with Keanu Reeve. What a piece of junk. 2003 "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diana Lane.

Most chick flicks I can sit through and tolerate but these two just ticked me off. Gotta go to keep the little woman happy though.
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I watched "Under the Tuscan Sun" on an airplane, at 30,000 feet, while sitting next to the emergency exit. Yes, it was tempting.... :p
 
Chaotic42

Chaotic42

Lifer
Jun 15, 2001
35,368
2,490
126
Originally posted by: yowolabi
I admit that high expectations can make a movie seem worse than it actually was, but if you're honest with yourself and others, you'll admit that you've seen much worse.
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I assume you're talking about me with "Children of Men". I didn't know it was critically acclaimed. I go to the theater *maybe* twice per year and I couldn't list more than a few of the hottest new movies. I had never heard anything about "Children of Men" other than a commercial I saw back whenever it came out, so I had no idea that I was some kind of heretic. I'm sorry that I've insulted the sensibilities of the high-art community, I was just looking for an interesting movie to pass the time and I failed miserably.

So, of the movies that I can actually recall seeing (I'm 25 with the memory of a 70 year old), the only one that I could consider rating lower would be "To See Paris and Die" (IMDB link), which was pretty damned bad, but not in English so it may have lost something in translation.

Battlefield Earth was better, Sin City was better, Police Academy 6 was better. Again, I apologize if this was anyone's favorite movie, or if I have offended anyone in anyway, which it looks like I might have.

 
RichUK

RichUK

Lifer
Feb 14, 2005
10,341
678
126
In all fairness ?Children of Men? was a crap and boring film. It?s not the worst, though, because that?d be Death Proof. ;)
 
Cogman

Cogman

Lifer
Sep 19, 2000
10,286
147
106
Rotten Tomato says "Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever". I tend to agree. (never watched it, but the name is bad enough)
 
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