Originally posted by: MaverickBP
i knew what i was doing..i was just being an ass
DUDE... U ALMOST KILLED ME!!!!!
I work at a grocery store and one time while checking had a dumb customer ask me to bag her stuff lighly becayse she couldn't lift anything heavy. So I do as she asked and end up with about 5 bags worth of stuff. After she pays for the stuff I asked if she wanted help out but she declines and I'm thinking she's gonna put it in her shopping cart when she takes all 5 grocery bags and lifts them all up with one arm... ... Now.. why did I bother bagging it light? *rolls eyes*
Food stamps are the b!tch.... They should be regulated to the extreme... I swear.. Some of those Food stamp people Eat better than us working people! >_<! I get food stamp orders consisting of Steaks (filet mignon), Ice cream cakes, cigs, alcohol, tons of junk food, and all other gourmet stuff. Makes you wonder why we even go to work..
I was working the customer service and asnwered a call early in the morning where by a customer called asking if we sold cream pies. I answered that we did and transferred her call to the bakery dept. A minute later I get a call from the bakery asking me to pick up the line. I asked what I could help them with and the same customer asking for the cream pies said she wanted to order several of them. I should have known something was amiss when the bakery pushed the call back to me because right after being "helpful" and taking the order , the customer asks me if we can deliver and I told her that we didn't. And then she tells me she wanted to order a lot of cream pies to deliver to what i thought she said was "mom," but after a questioning her again she meant to say "Moon." -_-.. "Great" I told myself.. I have either a prank caller or a nutcase, So I hang up onher.. and a few minutes later she calls back and asked me why I hung up and that she really wanted to buy some cream pies and she wanted them delivered to the moon for her trip there in a week. So I go along and tell her that We would arrange for her pies to be Fed-Exed to her.. *rolls eyes*
Got lots of stories of people and feces and bodily fluids.. like you all do..
Tons of shoplifting stories.. One particular one was of a woman in a wheel chair trying to hide liquor on her wheelchair seat while she sat on it. Another time I had to tackle this huge 300 pound woman trying to get away with using stolen credit cards. umm.. One time had a guy steal meds and I chased after him with another co-worker but unfortunately my co-workers are brainless and fall behind and linger around trying to decide what to do. So I'm left chasing after this guy and I catch up to him when he turns around like he was going to pull a weapon out of his jacket and I instinctively pull out my Four inch Folding Knife and the guy looks at it and runs away leaving the handbasket full of meds behind (I think he had more meds down his pants though cuz they were bulky).
I guess I was having a bad day or something and was being a smartass when this ignorant customer asked me where a particular item was and I answered that it was in between aisle 4 and 6.. =P
Had a black guy call me racist and that I was oppressing his color and his people and that I was nothing but a "chinamen" (i'm chinese) and all kinds of names etc... And all this cuz I asked him for his Driver's License for purchasing alcohol. Of course I didn't take it lightly so I told him off about how ignorant and stupid he was and that he should listen to his own stupidity come out of his mouth and that last time I checked I was as much a minority as he was. =P
Of course I've had people tell me that they should shop at my competitor's *insert competitor name here* instead of here.. in which I reply.. "ok.. bye bye".
One thing I learned that if you really want to piss off an irate problematic customer who walks off cursing and threatening you is to just say" Have a nice day and thank you for shopping with us!!" and smile at them and laugh as they leave.
hmm There are tons more when I think of them I'll write them down.
=P
... Now.. why did I bother bagging it light? *rolls eyes*Food stamps are the b!tch.... They should be regulated to the extreme... I swear.. Some of those Food stamp people Eat better than us working people! >_<! I get food stamp orders consisting of Steaks (filet mignon), Ice cream cakes, cigs, alcohol, tons of junk food, and all other gourmet stuff. Makes you wonder why we even go to work..
I was working the customer service and asnwered a call early in the morning where by a customer called asking if we sold cream pies. I answered that we did and transferred her call to the bakery dept. A minute later I get a call from the bakery asking me to pick up the line. I asked what I could help them with and the same customer asking for the cream pies said she wanted to order several of them. I should have known something was amiss when the bakery pushed the call back to me because right after being "helpful" and taking the order , the customer asks me if we can deliver and I told her that we didn't. And then she tells me she wanted to order a lot of cream pies to deliver to what i thought she said was "mom," but after a questioning her again she meant to say "Moon." -_-.. "Great" I told myself.. I have either a prank caller or a nutcase, So I hang up onher.. and a few minutes later she calls back and asked me why I hung up and that she really wanted to buy some cream pies and she wanted them delivered to the moon for her trip there in a week. So I go along and tell her that We would arrange for her pies to be Fed-Exed to her.. *rolls eyes*
Got lots of stories of people and feces and bodily fluids.. like you all do..
Tons of shoplifting stories.. One particular one was of a woman in a wheel chair trying to hide liquor on her wheelchair seat while she sat on it. Another time I had to tackle this huge 300 pound woman trying to get away with using stolen credit cards. umm.. One time had a guy steal meds and I chased after him with another co-worker but unfortunately my co-workers are brainless and fall behind and linger around trying to decide what to do. So I'm left chasing after this guy and I catch up to him when he turns around like he was going to pull a weapon out of his jacket and I instinctively pull out my Four inch Folding Knife and the guy looks at it and runs away leaving the handbasket full of meds behind (I think he had more meds down his pants though cuz they were bulky).
I guess I was having a bad day or something and was being a smartass when this ignorant customer asked me where a particular item was and I answered that it was in between aisle 4 and 6.. =P
Had a black guy call me racist and that I was oppressing his color and his people and that I was nothing but a "chinamen" (i'm chinese) and all kinds of names etc... And all this cuz I asked him for his Driver's License for purchasing alcohol. Of course I didn't take it lightly so I told him off about how ignorant and stupid he was and that he should listen to his own stupidity come out of his mouth and that last time I checked I was as much a minority as he was. =P
Of course I've had people tell me that they should shop at my competitor's *insert competitor name here* instead of here.. in which I reply.. "ok.. bye bye".
One thing I learned that if you really want to piss off an irate problematic customer who walks off cursing and threatening you is to just say" Have a nice day and thank you for shopping with us!!" and smile at them and laugh as they leave.
hmm There are tons more when I think of them I'll write them down.
=P
Just remembered another story..
During a bomb scare (someone called in saying there were several bombs in the store) everybody in the store was evacuated outside while bombsquad was looking for any bombs in the store. So all the employees and customers are outside the store several yards away with all the police, bomb squad, fire trucks and ambulances in front of the store. While standing there people are trying to get into the store to buy stuff and they get mad that we aren't "open"... Geez
During a bomb scare (someone called in saying there were several bombs in the store) everybody in the store was evacuated outside while bombsquad was looking for any bombs in the store. So all the employees and customers are outside the store several yards away with all the police, bomb squad, fire trucks and ambulances in front of the store. While standing there people are trying to get into the store to buy stuff and they get mad that we aren't "open"... Geez
In Ca. We have a foodstamp program called EBT (uses credit/debit card type things)where you have two types of foodstamp. One part of the program you get funds for purchasing of food items and the other part you get "cash" to buy whatever you want with. That's how they can get away with buying cigs and liquor.
Aquila76
Diamond Member
Same deal in MA. I always see this woman with like five or six kids hanging out of a shopping cart full of cartons of cigs when I'm shopping - never food, formula, or diapers. Makes me hate paying taxes sometimes.
Maybe that's why we can't buy alcohol in most supermarkets here? If they didn't sell tobacco products either, the welfare abusers might actually have to buy food and diapers like they're supposed to with our money.
OutHouse
Lifer
- Jun 5, 2000
- 36,410
- 616
- 126
Originally posted by: rudeguy
Originally posted by: gshock
Too bad you couldn't get your friend to ask some questions about the accisent
If she had come back to my store one more time I would have. I really don't think she knows how close she was to being in serious trouble. All because she wanted to scam.
Im sure the people she hit would appreciate it if you told the cops who she was so they could try to get their damage paid for and her stupid ass thrown in jail.
waggy
No Lifer
- Dec 14, 2000
- 68,143
- 10
- 81
I call shens on this one.
hmm he had to have done it on pupose.
When i worked McDonalds i worked grill. Before you are alone back there you train with others. NOT to mention watch those stupid training vidioes on makeing the sandwich.
There is no way he did not know what a McRibb was. they would not allow him back in the kitchen. they had to have sold a few on his FIRST day of work let alone the 2nd.
LOL...I don't ever remember watching videos...but I remember exactly how to make every burger there...
Hamburger/Cheeseburger: small bun through the toaster, one squirt ketchup, Z of mustard, some recon onions, one pickle. Cheese if needed
Big Mac: Mac bun through toaster, squirt from the "mac sauce" gun, recon onions, lettuce, 2 pickles, 1 slice cheese
Quarter Pounder: Quarter bun through toaster, one squirt ketchup, Z of mustard, real onions, 2 pickles, 2 slices of cheese.
so on, so on....
TO PEOPLE WHO EAT MCDONALDS: If your meat is dry, ASK FOR NEW STUFF....odds are it's been in the tray for more than half an hour.
another Home Depot story...
a natural gas line broke in the store so we had to evacuate the store. people were running out, but one guy with his 2 kids was waiting in line at the till, "I want to pay for my stuff" and was refusing to leave! WITH 2 KIDS!!! the building could blow up and this guy wants to buy crap! IDIOT!
a natural gas line broke in the store so we had to evacuate the store. people were running out, but one guy with his 2 kids was waiting in line at the till, "I want to pay for my stuff" and was refusing to leave! WITH 2 KIDS!!! the building could blow up and this guy wants to buy crap! IDIOT!
franksta
Golden Member
- Jun 6, 2001
- 1,967
- 6
- 81
franksta as the stupid customer:
I called one of the popular pizza delivery stores to order a pizza.
"Hello, I'd like to get a medium pineapple and ham pizza"
"we don't have medium size sir, only small and large, which size would you like?"
"medium"
"small or large"
"medium"
"we only have small and large"
"uh large then"
Man I felt so stupid. Now I make my wife order, although, I think they've added medium size since that incident"
franksta as the angry employee:
I once worked at a state park as a summer job while I was in high school. I worked in the boat center that would rent boats for people to take around the man-made lake, fish, exercise, whatever. My fellow co-workers were great but the manager we had was terrible. He was a super slacker when he was around us but always put on a show for the customers. He would actually be down on the docks not doing anythijng and would yell up to us to come down there to help a single solitary customer that was returning to tie up their rented boats. And he would often walk the trails around the lake "picking up trash" although he was really just smoking cigarettes and would return with maybe a handfull of stuff he picked up.
I had about enough of him so I kinda stuck it to him once. He was always drinking some nasty instant coffee and would leave the jar on a shelf under the register. We had a refridgerator that was stocked with nightcrawlers (fishing worms). I took a container of the worms and unloaded some of the dirt into his coffee jar and mixed it in really nice like. I had the day off when he actually mixed/drank it. The co-workers said he noted it was a bit different but couldn't put his finger on it. Hopefully they got a laugh out of it.
I called one of the popular pizza delivery stores to order a pizza.
"Hello, I'd like to get a medium pineapple and ham pizza"
"we don't have medium size sir, only small and large, which size would you like?"
"medium"
"small or large"
"medium"
"we only have small and large"
"uh large then"
Man I felt so stupid. Now I make my wife order, although, I think they've added medium size since that incident"
franksta as the angry employee:
I once worked at a state park as a summer job while I was in high school. I worked in the boat center that would rent boats for people to take around the man-made lake, fish, exercise, whatever. My fellow co-workers were great but the manager we had was terrible. He was a super slacker when he was around us but always put on a show for the customers. He would actually be down on the docks not doing anythijng and would yell up to us to come down there to help a single solitary customer that was returning to tie up their rented boats. And he would often walk the trails around the lake "picking up trash" although he was really just smoking cigarettes and would return with maybe a handfull of stuff he picked up.
I had about enough of him so I kinda stuck it to him once. He was always drinking some nasty instant coffee and would leave the jar on a shelf under the register. We had a refridgerator that was stocked with nightcrawlers (fishing worms). I took a container of the worms and unloaded some of the dirt into his coffee jar and mixed it in really nice like. I had the day off when he actually mixed/drank it. The co-workers said he noted it was a bit different but couldn't put his finger on it. Hopefully they got a laugh out of it.
Many years ago I worked for a Holiday Inn call center making hotel reservations.
One Saturday an agent got a bomb threat. Management immediately evacuated the building but apparently got on the line with the mad bomber and got out of him that the bomb would go off at the top of the hour. So....we were shuffled into the building at 15 after, took calls until 45 after the hour and then went outside for a half hour until bomb dogs had cleared the building.
I quit 1 day later....
One Saturday an agent got a bomb threat. Management immediately evacuated the building but apparently got on the line with the mad bomber and got out of him that the bomb would go off at the top of the hour. So....we were shuffled into the building at 15 after, took calls until 45 after the hour and then went outside for a half hour until bomb dogs had cleared the building.
I quit 1 day later....
My cousin worked at a hotel serving food in the banquet rooms. One Saturday they had a big wedding with two choices for the dinner - Beef or Chicken. Anyway this guy shows up late, after everyone else had just about finished their food. He asked for beef and was told that at this point there was only chicken left. He gets irate and causes a big scene so my cousin tells him he will try and locate some. They ended up pulling some beef out of the garbage disposal, washed it off and served it to the guy. Bon Appetit!
Another time he said one of the chefs was dancing about with a raw sausage link hanging out of his pants, one of the waitresses saw him, screamed and dropped her plates on the floor.
Another time he said one of the chefs was dancing about with a raw sausage link hanging out of his pants, one of the waitresses saw him, screamed and dropped her plates on the floor.
As manager of the store, I made it stick law that anytime there was a power outage, you were legally allowed to drink Boonesfarm. If the power went out, we'd get the customers out and then find a volunteer that was 18 to go to the liquor store.
silverpig
Lifer
- Jul 29, 2001
- 27,703
- 12
- 81
Kaervak
Diamond Member
- Jul 18, 2001
- 8,460
- 2
- 81
Just read through all thirteen pages of this thread. Some great stories.
To add my own lame retail stories:
Five years ago I worked as a driver at Carquest. Kick ass job, driving around in a truck all day delivering parts to mechanics, rarely dealt with walk-in customers. What was really nice was the store was in an area where a lot people had old muscle cars and other classic cars so the customers weren't morons and actually knew what they were talking about. Plus checking out their cars in the parking lot was great. Anyway, onto the story.
I was sitting in the store one day not doing much of anything, slow delivery day, when a guy comes in to return an oil pressure gauge. He takes it over to the store manager which had sold it to him probably not more than a half an hour ago. The guy tries to pass it off as never being used, except it's out of it's packaging. So my manger takes the receipt, rolls it up and sticks the end of it into the input on the oil pressure gauge. He removes it and it's soaked with oil. I don't remember exactly what my manager said, but it was something along the lines of "I'll refund your money but don't ever come back in here again." I found that rather odd considering my manager wasn't exactly the most honest person. When we did store inventory we were missing about $10,000 worth of merchandise. Not implying anything, but damn.
Other than that we really didn't have a problem with customers. There was maybe one or two people that tried to get into a big argument and act like a badass but we knew enough about what we were doing to keep them in check. Looking back on it, eventhough I busted my ass at that job and was barely paid anything it was rather fun. Launching the store trucks off a big bump in the road, doing the occassional burnout in the parking lot in the truck. Winter was great though, the rear section of our parking lot was never plowed so I'd come flying into the lot and spin the truck out. Damned crashed into the building a couple of times. Good times, good times. I do occassionally miss that job.
To add my own lame retail stories:
Five years ago I worked as a driver at Carquest. Kick ass job, driving around in a truck all day delivering parts to mechanics, rarely dealt with walk-in customers. What was really nice was the store was in an area where a lot people had old muscle cars and other classic cars so the customers weren't morons and actually knew what they were talking about. Plus checking out their cars in the parking lot was great. Anyway, onto the story.
I was sitting in the store one day not doing much of anything, slow delivery day, when a guy comes in to return an oil pressure gauge. He takes it over to the store manager which had sold it to him probably not more than a half an hour ago. The guy tries to pass it off as never being used, except it's out of it's packaging. So my manger takes the receipt, rolls it up and sticks the end of it into the input on the oil pressure gauge. He removes it and it's soaked with oil. I don't remember exactly what my manager said, but it was something along the lines of "I'll refund your money but don't ever come back in here again." I found that rather odd considering my manager wasn't exactly the most honest person. When we did store inventory we were missing about $10,000 worth of merchandise. Not implying anything, but damn.
Other than that we really didn't have a problem with customers. There was maybe one or two people that tried to get into a big argument and act like a badass but we knew enough about what we were doing to keep them in check. Looking back on it, eventhough I busted my ass at that job and was barely paid anything it was rather fun. Launching the store trucks off a big bump in the road, doing the occassional burnout in the parking lot in the truck. Winter was great though, the rear section of our parking lot was never plowed so I'd come flying into the lot and spin the truck out. Damned crashed into the building a couple of times. Good times, good times. I do occassionally miss that job.
As for the McDonalds story, my friend knew what a McRibb was, but there weren't any left. My friend is an idiot. Typical meathead. So he used the 2 fillet o fishes because he didn't know what else to do.
My story is from the customer perspective. I bought a small fireproof floor safe from either Office Max or Office Depot. I bring the thing home and test it out and find it's defective. It won't stay locked. A very hard squeeze on the release latch opens it even when the lock is turned to the lock position.
So I call the manufacturer to see if I am a total idiot and am missing the obvious. They tell me to take it back.
At the store, I tell them that it's defective and I want a replacement - same model. The manager asked no questions and directed a clerk to go and get one for me. So I'm waiting there, walking around a bit, while one salesman is fiddling with the safe I returned that is sitting up on the counter. He keeps locking it and unlocking it, opening and closing it. He calls me over "Aaah, sir?"
After I walk over to the counter, he smugly says to me "I just figured out how to lock it" and he proceeds to show me. He shuts the lid and turns the key. So I cock my head to the side and nod up and down like I am really soaking up these profound instructions of his. I add a seemingly sincere "Oh, wow" for effect.
Then, I grab the release latch and pop that sucker wide open. I blurt out a "BLAAAAOW" (tough guy noise used in rap songs) and I adopt a pose like this.
His mouth just drops open and he has this priceless look on this face like he's stuck in a twighlight zone episode. Naturally, that's when the replacement shows up and I take off, almost dropping the bloody thing on my foot as this guy must have evil-eyed me.
So I call the manufacturer to see if I am a total idiot and am missing the obvious. They tell me to take it back.
At the store, I tell them that it's defective and I want a replacement - same model. The manager asked no questions and directed a clerk to go and get one for me. So I'm waiting there, walking around a bit, while one salesman is fiddling with the safe I returned that is sitting up on the counter. He keeps locking it and unlocking it, opening and closing it. He calls me over "Aaah, sir?"
After I walk over to the counter, he smugly says to me "I just figured out how to lock it" and he proceeds to show me. He shuts the lid and turns the key. So I cock my head to the side and nod up and down like I am really soaking up these profound instructions of his. I add a seemingly sincere "Oh, wow" for effect.
Then, I grab the release latch and pop that sucker wide open. I blurt out a "BLAAAAOW" (tough guy noise used in rap songs) and I adopt a pose like this.
His mouth just drops open and he has this priceless look on this face like he's stuck in a twighlight zone episode. Naturally, that's when the replacement shows up and I take off, almost dropping the bloody thing on my foot as this guy must have evil-eyed me.
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