A Chicken and an egg were lying together. The chicken looked relaxed and wa smoking a cigar while the egg looked disheveled and annoyed. "The egg turned to the chicken and said, I Guess that answers THAT question."
Mrvile
Lifer
- Oct 16, 2004
- 14,066
- 1
- 0
These are teh funny!! :laugh:'d at pretty much all of them!!
A man walks into a doctors office one day, completely naked, and covered in saran wrap. He goes to the doctor, and the doctor does some tests, and hours later, he tells the man, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
A man walks into a doctors office one day, completely naked, and covered in saran wrap. He goes to the doctor, and the doctor does some tests, and hours later, he tells the man, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
wow some bad jokes here will try to help.
Elderly woman is watching the news one day and see's that someone is driving down the freeway the wrong way.
Worried about her husband she calls to warn him.
"Watch out dear! someones driving down the freeway the wrong way"
"ONE!", responds the elderly gentlemen, "thier must be hundreds of them!"
*****************************************************************
Grasshopper walks into the bar one day and the bartender says "Hey , we have a drink named after you!"
Really? said the grasshopper you have a drink called Murry?
******************************************************************
Slug is going down the street one day when he is beaten and mugged by a gang of turtles.
Later as the police are taking his report the officer asks, "Can you describe your assailants?"
No, responded the slug, It all happened so fast.
*******************************************************************
Whats the difference between a woman and a battery?
A battery has a positive side.
**************************************************
Little boy was taken away from his father for physical abuse and placed with his mother, unfortunately she also mistreated the boy. In a quandry the judge decided to ask the little boy who he would like to live with.
Cheerfully being from Seattle he asked to Live with The Mariners.
But why the Seattle Mariners asked the judge in amazement?
Because responded the lad they can't beat anyone.
Elderly woman is watching the news one day and see's that someone is driving down the freeway the wrong way.
Worried about her husband she calls to warn him.
"Watch out dear! someones driving down the freeway the wrong way"
"ONE!", responds the elderly gentlemen, "thier must be hundreds of them!"
*****************************************************************
Grasshopper walks into the bar one day and the bartender says "Hey , we have a drink named after you!"
Really? said the grasshopper you have a drink called Murry?
******************************************************************
Slug is going down the street one day when he is beaten and mugged by a gang of turtles.
Later as the police are taking his report the officer asks, "Can you describe your assailants?"
No, responded the slug, It all happened so fast.
*******************************************************************
Whats the difference between a woman and a battery?
A battery has a positive side.
**************************************************
Little boy was taken away from his father for physical abuse and placed with his mother, unfortunately she also mistreated the boy. In a quandry the judge decided to ask the little boy who he would like to live with.
Cheerfully being from Seattle he asked to Live with The Mariners.
But why the Seattle Mariners asked the judge in amazement?
Because responded the lad they can't beat anyone.
Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.
I'm still laughing!!
10/10
A: Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.
I'm still laughing!!
10/10
WHipLAsh13
Golden Member
- Jan 17, 2001
- 1,719
- 0
- 76
Engineer
Elite Member
- Oct 9, 1999
- 39,230
- 701
- 126
Blind man walks into a bar and throws his dog over his should and spins around. The dog goes....woof...wooff....woooooof.....wof...woooof....wooof...wooof....
The bartender says "WTF are you doing?!?"
The man states...."Just looking around!"
:laugh:
another...
Two men trying to out do each other while camping. One looks that the other and says...
"see that tree across the valley on top of the mountain"...."Yep" said the second man.."See the branches" said the first...."kinda" said the 2nd. "See the fly walking around over there?"..."No, but I know he's there" said the 2nd.
"how the hell do you know he's there then said the first?"
"I can hear him walking around!"
:laugh:
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