Racism is a manifestation of self hate. Self hate is a belief in a lie. That means that racism doesn't actually exist. What does exist is that self hate is caused by putting children down for not conforming to some moral standard that runs counter to some aspect of human nature we are all born with, such as selfishness. Once a person is taught to hate factors of his character that promoted species survival through millions of years of evolution that child learns to hold in contempt who he or she really is.
This is all done by comparing one child, you, the bad, one to the idealized one your parent or guardians or peers, in their own state of self contempt, imagine, if you conform to that model that will fix you and make you OK. And those comparisons can take any form based on the smallest of differences. They include anything we have been taught are sacred cows we should idolize. Thus does self hate get projected onto the other of any kind and form, differences in body type, thought type, emotional expression, any thing one can dump on to give expression to hate.
What you are doing is trying to transfer a moral contempt for bigots, the really really bad people, onto somebody besides yourself because of course you are, like everybody else, a bigot inside. We were born to see difference in order to survive and even black and white are different to the color blind. What happened to you is that you have been brainwashed to think that the capacity to see difference means one is full of bigotry. That's your way to pretend you're better than others and to take delight in putting them down.
Try to forgive yourself so you can forgive others. It's not a good thing to hate yourself for who you are when you really have no idea who that is.