Yeah but the problem is, the throwout bearings aren't designed for continuous lateral load on them. If they were, they would've used tapered bearings instead... The load on the bearings isn't just down, it's also forward and since the bearings are more of the type for just vertical force, it's kinda not a surprise they fail at all. If they used bearings like you see used for your wheels, then this discussion would be moot because they'd clearly be designed for a continuous load.
The only shitty thing about shifting into neutral at a stop light is that when it turns green, you have to shift into 1st which takes times.
They generally don't fail though...read Zenmervolt's post, it's a normal wear item, just like the clutch or your brake pads.
I've owned and driven manuals for decades and hundreds of thousands of miles, sometimes I'll hold the clutch in at lights and sometimes I'll leave it in neutral, and never ever had a throwout bearing fail. I have replaced them when replacing the clutch though.
Worrying about extra wear on the throw out bearing is like worrying about smog clogging your air filter...or your lungs. Are you going to stop breathing? Or stop driving your car? Even if you could prove that keeping the clutch pressed in did wear the throw out bearing and that religiously leaving it in neutral would wear it less you'd have to be a complete dumbass not to replace it when replacing the clutch.
Replacing a throw out bearing with your clutch adds about $75-100 to the cost of replacing the clutch (maybe slightly more depending on the car) but even if it was twice that and you replaced the clutch every 50k miles that comes out to four one thousands of a cent for every mile driven...or in other words, practically nothing.