- Jan 8, 2011
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Its not a "job". Jesus Christ, its raising your kids. That people can call it a job blows my mind.
Its not a "job". Jesus Christ, its raising your kids. That people can call it a job blows my mind.
RandomWords
Senior member
- Jun 11, 2014
- 633
- 5
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+1
You may have kids, but my god - I was a stay at home parent for a couple years and I about decided to burn the house down. Man - you never leave - and when the S.O. comes home they never want to leave... and the repetition of the days just going on and on and on and you never get away from the kids. You're always the one cooking and cleaning and doing homework... I would rather work and split the housework and homework and kid work. Get out every now and then and have people to talk to my own age.
Not if you are a good parent.
waggy
No Lifer
- Dec 14, 2000
- 68,143
- 10
- 81
rolf it is a job. you need to clean, do launder, be a taxi driver, first aid, etc etc.
It is a job.
People like you that downplay what a stay at home parent does blow my mind.
waggy
No Lifer
- Dec 14, 2000
- 68,143
- 10
- 81
A stay at home mom and dad in America needs to know what a real stay at home mom is like in some other parts of the world.
I was talking to a friend who spent the summer in a north African country (and not a very poor one at that, nor war ridden or anything like that). The stay at home mom day starts real real early and doesn't finish till late at night. Washing clothes by hands, cooking that goes on all day, cleaning every day (and no, not with a vacuum cleaner), walking up and down the stairs from your 12th story apartment (no elevators) carrying heavy, wet clothes, and on and on. Just the conversation about it will exhaust most people around here.
That is what a real stay at home parent job is.
lxskllr
No Lifer
- Nov 30, 2004
- 59,139
- 9,581
- 126
It's also not what 99.8% of Americans do, regardless of income level. Staying home and caring for kids is gravy. I'd do it my whole life if it didn't require me producing 20 kids :^D
shortylickens
No Lifer
- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
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RandomWords
Senior member
- Jun 11, 2014
- 633
- 5
- 81
... and 99.8% of people say that... but I'll tell you what - to test whether you would be good at it - think of yourself as being a maid and cleaning peoples houses all day - then going home and cleaning yours without a two day weekend... now that you have that part down - you can handle it - great... now think of at least half the day you are working two jobs simultaneously as a child daycare - picture a daycare because it isn't far off. After you have that down - you're working as a maid and in a child daycare - now realize that the people around you aren't going to pay you for any of it, they are going to call you lazy and tell you to get a job and pay someone else to do the job you are doing... because when it comes to doing this for your family and your kids - it isn't a job - it has to be someone elses.
Orignal Earl
Diamond Member
- Oct 27, 2005
- 8,059
- 55
- 86
Sounds like your doing your job as a father and husband.
Consider it an honor to be able to pull that off without your wife having to work too
Consider it an honor to be able to pull that off without your wife having to work too
Jimzz
Diamond Member
- Oct 23, 2012
- 4,399
- 190
- 106
TheAdvocate
Platinum Member
- Mar 7, 2005
- 2,561
- 7
- 81
That is exactly how my wife describes it. I love my kids, but just the weekends with them wears me out. There is a difference between dealing with predictable work and (at least mostly) rational adults, and the raw, incessant emotionalism of kids - especially young ones.
It is more difficult if you are on one income and cannot just throw money at activities to keep them busy/engaged. My wife cooks & cleans and tutors, and taxis to two different (sports) practices, etc. There are "harder" jobs, but there are few that wear you down as much, and have you so desperately craving any change of scenery and adult contact.
Raizinman
Platinum Member
Golgatha
Lifer
- Jul 18, 2003
- 12,382
- 1,008
- 126
I think the biggest thing is craving adult contact. My wife has been back to work going on her 2nd year after staying home with my boys for roughly 9 years. Being able to interact with other adults is huge for her. I think being a stay at home dad would be even more difficult, as there are very few organizations or support groups who include stay at home dads.
My opinion - If you can make it on one income, I think having one stay at home parent is one of the best things you can do for your kid(s). I definitely feel my sons are better for having their mom as a primary caregiver until they were both in public school.
_Rick_
Diamond Member
- Apr 20, 2012
- 3,948
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My mother is/was a stay at home mom, and busied herself raising five children, renovating two houses (both managing external workers, when necessary, and doing a ton of the actual work), and keeping those houses clean, the children and father fed, as well as get the children home from school, manage their scholastic progress, do the taxes and generally managing the household money, insurances, doing the laundry, keeping the garden presentable....sand probably an innumerable number of others things I never really realized. I think once the smallest child got into school, and the house we were then living in was mostly finished, she grew a bit restless, since she took on a part-time job, doing insurance assessments. But when we moved into a bigger house, that one always had some work needing to be done, and the garden was bigger as well, so despite all children having moved out now, she's still quite busy, just keeping the home in good nick, but now occasionally joins my father on his travels abroad for conferences and what-not, so it's become an easier life - but given her physical limitations at her current age, that's a good thing. She's still the first to volunteer if any of her kids needs anything at all, and my middle sister still "visits" every weekend.
I suppose there's a bit of helicoptering going on though, personally I felt a bit over-cared and which motivated me to leave the confines of my parents home as quickly as possible, and even now I can barely visit them for more than a few days before growing slightly restless and frustrated. Nonetheless, an easy job, she had not. It was a physically and mentally demanding job, involving way too much literal shit to be taken lightly.
I suppose there's a bit of helicoptering going on though, personally I felt a bit over-cared and which motivated me to leave the confines of my parents home as quickly as possible, and even now I can barely visit them for more than a few days before growing slightly restless and frustrated. Nonetheless, an easy job, she had not. It was a physically and mentally demanding job, involving way too much literal shit to be taken lightly.
z1ggy
Lifer
- May 17, 2008
- 10,010
- 66
- 91
SlitheryDee
Lifer
- Feb 2, 2005
- 17,252
- 19
- 81
This is how a stay at home mom can be a real full time job. I think a lot of people have the image in their minds of the lazy wife who gets the kids to school in the morning, spends the next 7 hours napping and watching Real Housewives, picks the kids up at 3:00, and then drops them off at soccer practice. When the husband gets home she then declares that she doesn't have dinner ready because she's been "so busy all day", and would he please go pick up the kids from soccer practice before he settles in. Those wives do exist, but they certainly aren't the rule.
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Aharami
Lifer
- Aug 31, 2001
- 21,205
- 165
- 106
- Jan 8, 2011
- 10,731
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They get fed almost every day. What's the issue here again?
What an absolute bitch.
z1ggy
Lifer
- May 17, 2008
- 10,010
- 66
- 91
Kaido
Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
- Feb 14, 2004
- 50,135
- 6,388
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Yeah. Per the OP:
1. Sleep in longer: Only if the kids don't wake up in the middle of the night (wet jammies, screaming from a nightmare, or just to say hi at midnight), or if you want to have to run around getting everything ready when they are awake instead of before they wake up. A lot of that is dependent on the kid's ages. Younger ones tend to wake up more, older ones usually have to wake up for school. Plus you're tired because after the kids go to bed is the only quiet time you get to yourself & your SO, so you tend to stay up late to have some relaxation time.
2. Eat a relaxing breakfast with the kids: Again, depends on age. Feeding a toddler in a clean manner is not always easy haha. And if they're older & have school, that usually means forcing a poptart down their throats while shoveling them out the door to catch the bus on time so you don't have to drive them in.
3. Watch cartoons: Yes, because I love to watch the Lego movie 3 times a day. I can quote Chris Pratt better than Chris Pratt can quote Chris Pratt at this point
4. Go to the park: Yeah, but then that means you have to get dressed :biggrin:
Being a stay-at-home parent can be rough depending on the situation - if you're constantly tired, if your kids have a lot of needs (don't sleep, medical issues, etc.), etc. There's no break except for when your SO gets home from work, but you still have to worry about them 24/7. Some people have easy kids & the personality to deal with it, but some people have more difficult kids & may not have the personality to handle things.
Being a parent definitely changed my view of adulthood. I think the biggest thing I've come to realize is that adults are just kids in grown-up bodies, which is why most people think their parents are nuts - being adult-sized doesn't mean you've matured, it just means that you're older & have more responsibilities & doesn't necessarily mean you have to act like it. Thus everyone has a dysfunctional family :biggrin:
I think parenthood has a lot to do with that whole "prozac nation" idea. I'm sure an awful lot of moms out there get depression, have low-energy, and get that overwhelming feeling that they want to get out, but that isn't something that is heavily accepted in society. Anyway...I suppose parenthood can be a cakewalk, if you have the right personality & easy kids, but it's work for 99% of people.
Kaido
Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
- Feb 14, 2004
- 50,135
- 6,388
- 136
I googled, and sure enough:
http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs9/i/2006/018/e/2/ROLF_Rolling_on_laughing_floor_by_ChocolateKitty12.jpg
- Jan 8, 2011
- 10,731
- 3,440
- 136
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