Stay at home moms got it easy

[Mai72]

I wish I was a stay at home dad.

 

[shortylickens]

Today we are a prozac nation. Yesterday we were a booze nation.

There were TONS of alcoholic moms in the 50's and 60's. People just didnt talk about them. But they were there.

 

[MrPickins]

You have to be sure to lock the door behind them though.

Mom?

What are you doing on ATOT?

 

[gorcorps]

In a perfect world, threads like this would just die without any sort of response when it's obviously just there to piss people off.

Don't fall for it folks

 

[notposting]

I've been a SAHD since October of 2012. Boy #1 just turned 4, Boy #2 just turned 1.

Easy this job is not. And it IS a job...just a job that I can't quit, can't ask for a pay raise, can't coast on my duties or their doodies, etc etc.

Sleep in. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA wtf is that horseshit? If I'm absolutely lucky they might only stir a little and I end up curled up dangling off their bed and they mostly sleep until 7am (my wife works at 5am).

Relaxing breakfast. Is that what it's called when the 1 year old is finding it more fun to peer over the edge and see what stuff landing on the floor looks like? Or the 4 year old wanting to help, or wanting something other than what he JUST asked for? Or how it seems so special when maybe once a week I actually sit down with a hot cup of tea and a hot piece of toast and get to eat them before someone tries to suicide off the top of the couch.

Cartoons. I love knowing the theme songs to Backyardigans, singing Thomas the Tank Engine songs, and growling out "hhmmmm Mighty MAACHINES eeerrrr" even when not watching them. Really. I do.

Go to the park. If it's sunny, if it hasn't rained, wondering why society just doesn't approve of harness and leash and maybe choke chains on children. As a dad, I get the bonus scowls from old women like I'm a pedophile or something. Eat shit you old crone. Otherwise on a rainy day, keep working on the giant size hamster wheel and power transfer switch to power the house from these two loonies.

Actually, I read this somewhere and it is totally true:

Stay at home dads might even have it harder. We have to do the mom tasks, clean, feed, care for the kids, laundry, dishes etc. But when mom gets home, guess what? I'm back to dad then, and I get all my regular roles of car repair, yard care, garbage duty, etc etc. It's not like the roles completely flip.

 

[moonbogg]

In a perfect world, threads like this would just die without any sort of response when it's obviously just there to piss people off.

Don't fall for it folks

There are those who agree with the OP, and for good reason. Parenting is something most of us do at some point in our lives, and hopefully something all of us benefitted from as kids. There is a lot of talk about how hard stay at home moms have it, and surely some of them got it rough. Most of them don't have it rough at all.
They get to stay home and show off the fact that they have the money coming in to enable them to do so. Its a status and self esteem thing just as much as it is a parenting thing, and the whole time they demand respect because its so hard, when really, most of the time it isn't. Sorry to disappoint you, but this is a legit topic.

 

[notposting]

In a perfect world, threads like this would just die without any sort of response when it's obviously just there to piss people off.

Don't fall for it folks

Now you tell me! :hmm:

 

[notposting]

There are those who agree with the OP, and for good reason. Parenting is something most of us do at some point in our lives, and hopefully something all of us benefitted from as kids. There is a lot of talk about how hard stay at home moms have it, and surely some of them got it rough. Most of them don't have it rough at all.
They get to stay home and show off the fact that they have the money coming in to enable them to do so. Its a status and self esteem thing just as much as it is a parenting thing, and the whole time they demand respect because its so hard, when really, most of the time it isn't. Sorry to disappoint you, but this is a legit topic.

As for why we do it:

My wife works at Costco, good pay, healthcare, bonus every 6 months, only a few miles from home, etc. I worked in union low-volt electrical. Good pay, slightly better than hers, health care after 3 months back, BUT driving all over the place (usually filling up 2-3 times a week, versus her filling up every 2-3 weeks), getting laid off for months at a time, maybe having to travel out of state for any real work, babysitting and fuel/food costs would quickly negate and advantages there.

She has seen enough horror stories of babysitting/daycare as well, so for us, having a parent at home is best, we can try to raise and discipline the lunatic little monkeys as best we can and teach them well.

It's certainly not for status or flaunting, more of a sacrifice but it's what we've chosen to do. Means everything is budgeted a lot tighter but it means we can teach them that money and things aren't free either.

 

[moonbogg]

I've been a SAHD since October of 2012. Boy #1 just turned 4, Boy #2 just turned 1.

Easy this job is not. And it IS a job...just a job that I can't quit, can't ask for a pay raise, can't coast on my duties or their doodies, etc etc.

Sleep in. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA wtf is that horseshit? If I'm absolutely lucky they might only stir a little and I end up curled up dangling off their bed and they mostly sleep until 7am (my wife works at 5am).

Relaxing breakfast. Is that what it's called when the 1 year old is finding it more fun to peer over the edge and see what stuff landing on the floor looks like? Or the 4 year old wanting to help, or wanting something other than what he JUST asked for? Or how it seems so special when maybe once a week I actually sit down with a hot cup of tea and a hot piece of toast and get to eat them before someone tries to suicide off the top of the couch.

Cartoons. I love knowing the theme songs to Backyardigans, singing Thomas the Tank Engine songs, and growling out "hhmmmm Mighty MAACHINES eeerrrr" even when not watching them. Really. I do.

Go to the park. If it's sunny, if it hasn't rained, wondering why society just doesn't approve of harness and leash and maybe choke chains on children. As a dad, I get the bonus scowls from old women like I'm a pedophile or something. Eat shit you old crone. Otherwise on a rainy day, keep working on the giant size hamster wheel and power transfer switch to power the house from these two loonies.

Actually, I read this somewhere and it is totally true:

Stay at home dads might even have it harder. We have to do the mom tasks, clean, feed, care for the kids, laundry, dishes etc. But when mom gets home, guess what? I'm back to dad then, and I get all my regular roles of car repair, yard care, garbage duty, etc etc. It's not like the roles completely flip.

LOL! My two boys are about the same age, 18 months and the other almost 4. Did you steal my kids or something? Maybe you cloned them when I wasn't looking, because you described them perfectly. I think its cute and funny when they drive me crazy, and the whole time I can't stop smiling. My wife loves it too. Its crazy, but its a crazy love kind of thing.
Cherish every moment of the insanity because these really are the golden years. They will never snuggle with you when they are 15, trust me, and they will NEVER be this insanely cute ever again. I could spend all day with them without issue. Wish I could do it, but I am the one working.

 

[NoTine42]

The problem with a lot of the housework and kid "chasing"... It's all start/stop motion and very tiring. But it's not continious enough to trigger the adrenaline like hard manual labor. Personally, I've felt better after a day of pole digging vs a day of "babysitting"

 

[Aharami]

I googled, and sure enough:

http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs9/i/2006/018/e/2/ROLF_Rolling_on_laughing_floor_by_ChocolateKitty12.jpg

hahahah!

 

[RandomWords]

not saying that stay at home moms/dads have it easy since raising a child is never easy, but they DEFINITELY have it easier than working moms/dads

It depends - a lot of the time the working parent doesn't take on the responsibilities of the household or kids so the chores aren't split - and they mainly only play with the children. More is put on the other parent - who DEFINITELY has it harder is a SINGLE working parent who manages to be there for their child... but a lot of times the things that stay at home parents do - they pay someone else to do for them (same with when both parents work - they pay someone else to do the things the stay at home parent does)

 

[waggy]

I've been a SAHD since October of 2012. Boy #1 just turned 4, Boy #2 just turned 1.

Easy this job is not. And it IS a job...just a job that I can't quit, can't ask for a pay raise, can't coast on my duties or their doodies, etc etc.

Sleep in. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA wtf is that horseshit? If I'm absolutely lucky they might only stir a little and I end up curled up dangling off their bed and they mostly sleep until 7am (my wife works at 5am).

Relaxing breakfast. Is that what it's called when the 1 year old is finding it more fun to peer over the edge and see what stuff landing on the floor looks like? Or the 4 year old wanting to help, or wanting something other than what he JUST asked for? Or how it seems so special when maybe once a week I actually sit down with a hot cup of tea and a hot piece of toast and get to eat them before someone tries to suicide off the top of the couch.

Cartoons. I love knowing the theme songs to Backyardigans, singing Thomas the Tank Engine songs, and growling out "hhmmmm Mighty MAACHINES eeerrrr" even when not watching them. Really. I do.

Go to the park. If it's sunny, if it hasn't rained, wondering why society just doesn't approve of harness and leash and maybe choke chains on children. As a dad, I get the bonus scowls from old women like I'm a pedophile or something. Eat shit you old crone. Otherwise on a rainy day, keep working on the giant size hamster wheel and power transfer switch to power the house from these two loonies.

Actually, I read this somewhere and it is totally true:

Stay at home dads might even have it harder. We have to do the mom tasks, clean, feed, care for the kids, laundry, dishes etc. But when mom gets home, guess what? I'm back to dad then, and I get all my regular roles of car repair, yard care, garbage duty, etc etc. It's not like the roles completely flip.

I been a stay at home dad for both kids (8 and 12). you pretty much nail it.

and god taking the kids to the park? or even the store. The amount of dirty looks you get is amazing.

is it a job? yeah. its a great job. though as you say many dads have to also do the dad jobs around the house. i swear i work as much if not more then when i had ajob. at least now that my kids are older i don't have to watch them as much. my daughter is getting close to doing everything she needs.

 

[steppinthrax]

I don't really agree with the whole "I'm a work at home mom I have a job too" or the "My job is just as hard as yours" bullshit. It's very different to have to physically drive someplace, put on a face and meet the expectations of a boss. While at the same time make an income that is capable of taking care of the mortgage, electric bill, health care, etc......

I would love to do the housework while my wife goes outside and finds a 6-fig salary job. LOLOLOLOL....

 

[waggy]

I don't really agree with the whole "I'm a work at home mom I have a job too" or the "My job is just as hard as yours" bullshit. It's very different to have to physically drive someplace, put on a face and meet the expectations of a boss. While at the same time make an income that is capable of taking care of the mortgage, electric bill, health care, etc......

I would love to do the housework while my wife goes outside and finds a 6-fig salary job. LOLOLOLOL....

you would be surprised. though i guess it depends on the job you have and the kids.

drive physically? you mean like doctor appointments, practice for things after school? etc? i do as much driving now as i did when working?

stress? i agree that has gone done a ton. but dealing with a sick child is very stressful. i am just thankful that is maybe once a year or so.

income? err. this part of your rant don't make sense. if you are a single parent yeah you can't be a stay at home parent. that kinda kills having err..anything. You need funds to pay rent/mortgage, food, etc. that shit comes first.

 

[RandomWords]

There are those who agree with the OP, and for good reason. Parenting is something most of us do at some point in our lives, and hopefully something all of us benefitted from as kids. There is a lot of talk about how hard stay at home moms have it, and surely some of them got it rough. Most of them don't have it rough at all. They get to stay home and show off the fact that they have the money coming in to enable them to do so. Its a status and self esteem thing just as much as it is a parenting thing, and the whole time they demand respect because its so hard, when really, most of the time it isn't. Sorry to disappoint you, but this is a legit topic.

They demand respect because a lot of time they get none - and they get slanderred for the choice of staying home... now granted - there are jobs that are harder - like an engineer, or a doctor - but just as many jobs out there are on the same level - maids, daycare workers, fast food workers, waitresses, janitors, supervisors, managers, accountants, bookkeepers, hair stylists, massage therapists... the list is endless. Yet, a majority of those people get respect and don't get degraded and told they don't have a job and "it's easy" - some get praised in tips for their good work... so I can see why stay at home parents want respect - because they get none- not from society, not from their family, nada... and why yes, working parents do parent their kids - they still don't cover as much as a majority of stay at home parents - their workload is either balanced between both parents (where it would be all on that one) - or is paid out to another person to do the same job (mow the lawn anyone, cleaning, daycare, schooling, fixing things around the house, etc etc).

 

[M0oG0oGaiPan]

just leave your kids at home with the tv on. maybe leave some hot pockets in the freezer. you'll be set.

 

[midwestfisherman]

To the OP, STFU! Troll!

 

[RandomWords]

It's very different to have to physically drive someplace, put on a face and meet the expectations of a boss

You have to physically drive a lot of places and deal with a lot of people when you have children - especially when they start school.

Put on a face and meet the expectations of a boss - well, you might not have to put on a face (which I've never had to do at any job) - but you still have expectations of a boss to meet - as in the expectations of your S.O. and the expectations that come with your child... they might be your own expectations or the level that society has - but there are some - most independent contractors don't have "Expectations of a boss" - only their own.

 

[manimal]

I am taking a two year break to teach my kids and spend more time with them. They are 4 and while I take them to day care 3 days a week I am essentially home schooling them 4 days a week. We stopped paying for the cleaning service as well and I am taking care of 80-90 percent of the household and the wife has been working. Its hard work. While my situation is different than some single kid households since we have triplets who are 4 but a stay at home parent with 2 or more kids HAS so much shit to deal with its like running a small business. Balancing and changing plans on the go and managing the well being emotionally and bodily for small kids is the hardest thing mammals do. Seriosly guys how many fucked up kids have you seen as a direct result of parenting?

I work harder at parenting than I did as a professional



OP can go fuck himself with a dirty razor. Your probably a five min dad walks in gets beer and goes to play COD or watch TV.

 

[RandomWords]

While at the same time make an income that is capable of taking care of the mortgage, electric bill, health care, etc...... I would love to do the housework while my wife goes outside and finds a 6-fig salary job. LOLOLOLOL...

As for this part... your wife could easily get a five figure salary job with training in as little as two years which is what most average americans have... as for the income part - by staying at home your wife is easily saving you 300 a week on childcare, should be paid roughly at minimum 15$ an hour for cleaning and cooking (as this is part of the benefit), plus she should get hazard pay, your kids are getting better cared for (which is priceless)... in the end she saves about at least the amount of a minimum wage paying job in most places.

 

[nickbits]

As for this part... your wife could easily get a five figure salary job with training in as little as two years which is what most average americans have... as for the income part - by staying at home your wife is easily saving you 300 a week on childcare, should be paid roughly at minimum 15$ an hour for cleaning and cooking (as this is part of the benefit), plus she should get hazard pay, your kids are getting better cared for (which is priceless)... in the end she saves about at least the amount of a minimum wage paying job in most places.

I like how you provided advice on how to get a <100k job when he stated the problem was finding >100k job.

 

[notposting]

The problem with a lot of the housework and kid "chasing"... It's all start/stop motion and very tiring. But it's not continious enough to trigger the adrenaline like hard manual labor. Personally, I've felt better after a day of pole digging vs a day of "babysitting"

This is kind of on point. Up...settle them...try to do something useful...get interrupted...etc...etc..rinse...poopy diaper...wipe poopy butt...give kisses for bumps...go play for a bit...take away whatever they found they shouldn't have...back to the laundry that magically unfolded itself.

None of it is by itself tough or anything, but yeah it is draining in it's own way. Compared to a good days work when I was doing electrical, you could say we ran 5000' of Cat-5 today, or terminated a whole floor, or something. But with kids/house...it all basically looks the same as yesterday.

 

[waggy]

This is kind of on point. Up...settle them...try to do something useful...get interrupted...etc...etc..rinse...poopy diaper...wipe poopy butt...give kisses for bumps...go play for a bit...take away whatever they found they shouldn't have...back to the laundry that magically unfolded itself.

None of it is by itself tough or anything, but yeah it is draining in it's own way. Compared to a good days work when I was doing electrical, you could say we ran 5000' of Cat-5 today, or terminated a whole floor, or something. But with kids/house...it all basically looks the same as yesterday.

and that is the big problem with doing it. you get into a rut. you really need to change things up and go do something.


I am so glad my kids are 8 and 12. they are in school all day. while i do chores I take breaks and play games and nef. It's fricken easy compared to when they are younger.

but when the kids are young its a pain in the ass. up until the kids are 5-6ish its a hard job.

 

[moonbogg]

I am taking a two year break to teach my kids and spend more time with them. They are 4 and while I take them to day care 3 days a week I am essentially home schooling them 4 days a week. We stopped paying for the cleaning service as well and I am taking care of 80-90 percent of the household and the wife has been working. Its hard work. While my situation is different than some single kid households since we have triplets who are 4 but a stay at home parent with 2 or more kids HAS so much shit to deal with its like running a small business. Balancing and changing plans on the go and managing the well being emotionally and bodily for small kids is the hardest thing mammals do. Seriosly guys how many fucked up kids have you seen as a direct result of parenting?

I work harder at parenting than I did as a professional



OP can go fuck himself with a dirty razor. Your probably a five min dad walks in gets beer and goes to play COD or watch TV.

LOL! God damn, I love you and oh how you wish your claims were true. The simple fact of the matter is that having the privilege of staying home with your kids (its been done for thousands of years BTW, its not new or extraordinary like you claim) is what I would rather do than be the bread winner.