Perhaps you are familiar with the idea that people will do things without necessarily knowing why. The sentence before this one might just well be an example of that, for example, but since you are the one OP posting here, maybe we should explore what reasons may motivate that desire. So what that prompts me to ask, given what you have said so far, is to ask what you mean by admitting to us that you are a dick. What kind of dick. How do you see yourself as a dick. What does being a dick mean. I am especially interested to know if the kind of dick that you think yourself to be is one that gives you pride. If not, does admitting you are a dick in a bad sense allow you to take pride in your honesty. Is it a defensive move, a way to get ahead of criticism, 'you can't insult me because I already admit to being what you want to call me.'
My opinion is that your OP expresses an emotional need. One of the first things that comes to my mind along those lines is that the toxic environment expressed here represents a real challenge to your self respect as a person who sees good things in Trump, as you claim and defend. Your self worth as a human being is being challenged, the deplorable thingi. My understanding of how people work is that they have egos that protect them from feelings of worthlessness that were inculcated into us as children and we spend our time trying to strengthen that ego by testing, by making a greater and greater ass of ourselves and successfully defending. To win such tests is of course to fail because all it does is make us better at being dicks. So what do you think. Can you tell me what kind of dick you are or did you just not even manage to skim this?