So..you know what can happen after you just pay off your house?

[CKent]

"Marriage doesn't work in the world today, it's an institution that is in decay" - Brad Nowell, RIP (Sublime)

True words. It's an institution based on the philosophy that women can't work and are nothing but subservient child-rearers slightly above cattle in terms of rights and intelligence. It arose in the world of the past where all labor was physical (more suited to physically larger / stronger males) and people were more barbaric and quick to resort to physical violence (in which case, again, the generally larger and stronger men would reign). It's as dead & gone as religion in the modern world, and until the law reflects this, no intelligent person should marry.

With that said I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. Best wishes to you and your kids. Keep in mind that if you ever get petty and tell them their mother is the bitch that she is, you're really telling them that they're half-bitch which can lead to esteem problems.

 

[WA261]

UPDATE:

Nothing is really going on. I got her papers, I flipped. She wants full custody, 1/2 the house, etc. When I contacted her about it she said she did not know what was in the papers...I do believe this. My lawyer did not show me the papers she was sent. They say I want full custody, 1/2 her 401k...blah blah blah. I dont want either. I want joint custody and my house, that's it. When I contacted my lawyer he said at first you ask for everything (each side) so the other will bargain. Im still at my fkn parents house. My new home still has like 3 weeks or so till it is completed. Anyway, just an update.

 

[KingGheedora]

Go for custody of the kids. If you take custody, then you can stay in your house, and stay with your kids, plus the bitch is gone.

This. I would go ahead a be a dick and take the house and try to get custody. If you love your kids as much as you claim to with your rhetoric for not putting up more of a fight, you'd already be trying to get custody. So i'm not sure anything we say will get through to you.

What are her reasons for divorcing? You should hire a PI immediately to see if he can get some proof of adultery, or some other shenanigans on her part. Sucks to ponder that but anything that can help your case. Be a man, this is your money, your house, your kids Why are you being such a push-over, do you have low self esteem, or are you depressed or something? If so do yourself a favor and listen to the people here. If anything fighting and winning might actually help with that problem.

What's going to happen after you're divorced and she gets the house and kids, can she make income and take care of the kids at the same time? Will she then want child support?

If she's going to badmouth you to your kids she's going to do it regardless how good or bad you are from here on out. There are so many more options that make more sense than what you are proposing. Don't concede anything now because several years from now when you mature a bit more you will regret it.

 

[Muadib]

Why in sam hill did you move out??? Listen to your lawyer, or this will end badly for you.

 

[Raizinman]

Welcome to the club.

Yes the law might say one thing, but Judges side with women against the law everyday. Yes, you can appeal, but years later when the appeal court decides, she is long gone and the house is sold. She will just hire a 'good ole boy' lawyer friend of the Judge and you will be out in the cold without anything. Going to court is always a flip of the coin. Even if the law is with you and your lawyer tells you it is a slam dunk, you will probably lose your shirt anyway.

 

[olds]

UPDATE:

...When I contacted her about it she said she did not know what was in the papers...

She is lying.
This is not going to end well.
At least you were warned.

 

[RoloMather]

Good luck OP. You will need it.

 

[ktehmok]

She is lying.
This is not going to end well.
At least you were warned.

See bolded.

 

[Adrenaline]

Your wife is going to screw you for what she can. I have no idea how you are not seeing this coming at you. There has been some really good advice in here, yet you listen to almost none of it. Why did you bother to post this if you just won't listen to anything posted? You should keep the house and get custody of the kids. You did not make these choices, she did. She knows what she is going to go after and is going to go for her 100% and not think twice about you.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Zebo]

Way you're so conciliatory her lawyer is gonna fuck you hard.

Easy come easy go I guess. I see you 500K lighter, prepare.

This shit will be funny six months from now I hope you have the balls to post your rape.

 

[0roo0roo]

why do the gays want marriage?

 

[Rubycon]

This is sad. Nobody believes in therapy these days? They just want to end it like flipping a switch! There are two sides to every story. One side is not going to want to end it immediately without warning unless there's something going on in the background. Someone was probably cheating. Being Nero will cost you dearly.

 

[arcenite]

This is sad. Nobody believes in therapy these days? They just want to end it like flipping a switch! There are two sides to every story. One side is not going to want to end it immediately without warning unless there's something going on in the background. Someone was probably cheating. Being Nero will cost you dearly.

It sounds like she's just in it for teh monies

 

[RaistlinZ]

tax breaks are for sure.

Not worth getting married for. Especially considering you lose your house and half of everything you own AND half of your retirement. And that's before factoring in child support, alimony payments, and all the money that was lost on engagement rings, wedding, honeymoon, etc.


F*ck marriage. Seriously.

 

[BTRY B 529th FA BN]

passes popcorn

 

[dmcowen674]

If you know her as well as you say you should have either seen the signs of divorce and prevented it or prepared for it.

You obviously don't know her well enough.

That's bullshit

Anyone, not just a woman can turn on a second.

You're obviously what 25? You'll find out soon enough.

If not, you're obviously not getting any.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

F*ck marriage. Seriously.

That is what all lonely guys say. Yeah fuck womenz and marriage. Womenz be cramping my style foolz.

 

[SunSamurai]

Once again, you're either a tool or a lazy bastard wanting someone like her raising your kids.

Whats wrong with you? Then again, youre the one that was stupid enough to marry her and ignore the warning signs. I feel sorry for the kids. The two of you however sound like you deserve each other. Tweedle dee and tweedle dumb.

 

[RaistlinZ]

That is what all lonely guys say. Yeah fuck womenz and marriage. Womenz be cramping my style foolz.

I'm not saying don't have relationships or don't have sex. I'm saying rent it, don't buy it. Marriage only benefits the woman when things go awry.

 

[sale1980]

If I ever divorced my hubby, I'd let him keep every blessed thing. Why hold the memories? That's me though...I'd want to move on and do it like a bandaid. As for the kids, I'd agree to joint custody no problem b/c every kid should have their dad. Couples don't need a lawyer to get married, and shouldn't need one in divorce. Sorry it's not that easy. It should be harder to get married than divorced.

 

[Pliablemoose]

LOL, so harsh on the OP.

Imagine your children looking at you in 10 or 20 years and thinking you were an ass to their mother.

The OP is displaying some very appropriate, adult behaviors.

 

[KeypoX]

Put a hit on that bitch.

 

[ebaycj]

The current house is not hers because it was paid for with my $, stock that was left to me in a will. The same will apply for the 2nd home.

As you said you have talked to a lawyer, and you seem pretty confident about this "fact", I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

However, under no fucking circumstances should you let her live there rent-free. She needs to get all the bills in her name, and begin paying you rent that is AT LEAST equal to what you were paying in mortgage payments before you (stupidly) paid your house off.

 

[ebaycj]

Well, she is not trying to go after anything really. She said she wanted the home so the kids could keep their lives. I mean I have walked through the house telling her what rooms of furniture I want and all of that type of stuff and she was fine with it. It is not like some cat fight. She just thought she was entitled to the house and was pissed when she found out she wasn't.

SunnyD. I am not walking away from anything. The house is mine. I am letting her live there for the good of my kids. Once they are out of the house so is she.

If this is true then she should have absolutely no problem signing a lease to rent said house from you.

Lease terms:
Monthly payment => Your old mortgage payment + 10%.
Term of Lease => Lease terminates at the end of the month of your youngest child's 18th birthday, or when tenants vacate the premises (by eviction or otherwise), whichever is first.
Late payment => late fee = 20% of monthly payment.

Hold her to these terms. If she is unable to pay, have her evicted. Your children have a nice warm place just down the street, to live. They can move back in when she is gone, if they need "continuity" or whatever.

 

[ebaycj]

Well, that is why once things start to progress the 1st thing that will be done is to have a contract drawn up where the judge sees am I going to let her live there for 12yrs. I am still in and out of the house. All me shit is still there and things. I have just been sleeping at my parents and going over to do things when she is not home. My parents also live like 6 houses away =P

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU NOT JUST CHANGE THE LOCKS WHEN SHE IS NOT HOME?

Let the kids back in the house, just not her.

Seriously how complicated is this?