So, if you know someone is trying to date ur gf, what would you do?

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: Excelsior
If she has nothing to hide, then what the hell is the big problem? Jesus christ! if someone was looking through my crap I wouldnt care, UNLESS I WAS HIDING SOMETHING. But yeah, just dump her if you cant trust her, which sounds like it.

what does that mean, just one thing, you are pretty stupid if you don't think that private things are private... either that or you are homeless...

 

[Koing]

Originally posted by: mpitts
#1 - Stay away from her personal stuff: cell phone, email, etc.

#2 - Don't blame the guy. If anything, blame your girlfriend.

You should trustyour gf to not let other guys hit on her. Sure they'll hit on her but she can simply say no and tell them that its not happening. If she doesn't then shes not trusting enough........

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: Koing

Originally posted by: mpitts
#1 - Stay away from her personal stuff: cell phone, email, etc.

#2 - Don't blame the guy. If anything, blame your girlfriend.

You should trustyour gf to not let other guys hit on her. Sure they'll hit on her but she can simply say no and tell them that its not happening. If she doesn't then shes not trusting enough........

Nah, you should not trust your gf to let other guys hit on her, you should trust her to say no!

(clarification: if guys hit on her, be proud, you have an attractive gf, but she will have to decide who to go with, not you)

No trust, no relationship...

 

[BaDaBooM]

Snapit,

You are extremely judgemental and sound like you have never been in this situation. She wasn't open... she avoided the question. And trust is not a light switch. Though they have been going out for 3 years, it can take this long to build trust. Trust is fluid and is not simply on or off. If you are going to dump someone after 3 years, you want to know.

As for your daughter, I would treat her great as long as she treated me right and didn't cheat on me. If I was acting all evaisive and was hiding things from my g/f then I wouldn't blame her for trying to find out what was going on.

 

[DrPizza]

If you don't want anyone to ever hit on your gf/wife, there are 2 solutions:

1. Date the most hideous ugly looking female on the planet.
2. Join the mafia and make it a well known fact that people who hit on your gf/wife mysteriously "disappeared."


I'd be happy if someone was hitting on my wife. But... I trust her, so I have no problem with it.
As far as acting evasive.... maybe she's got a post in some other forum called "so, your boyfriend knows some other guy has been hitting on you and seems to think you're cheating on him... what would you do?" I think that anyone responding to a line of questions that are directed towards finding something out like that would be considered being evasive.

 

[Bachopoet]

SO... instead of asking her what was up, you hacked into her email?
Regardless of whether or not you can trust her, she certainly can't trust you to have the kahones to actually ask her about something that's bothering you. First course of action, get a spine, get your own damn cell phone, and learn about trust.

I guarantee that once you understand and appreciate that, you'll have an easier time spotting a girl who doesn't.

As for her, let him have her. They deserve each other. The relationship might have been salvageable if you had conjured the spine to talk about it instead of sneaking around like a child.

Edit!
You've got a daughter?! Geez, dude. Get a life and marry her, dammit. Why the hell else do you think she's looking in greener pastures? And when in doubt, don't snoop through her email. Email Strong Bad!

 

[phenderson]

Originally posted by: stso

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
A couple of questions to help get a handle on this situation:

How old are the both of you?
How long have you been together?
How would you characterize your relationship together up to this point?
Have you had trust issues with her in the past?
Is there any reason why she would leave you for this other guy?
Does she appear to be honest and sincere to you when she talks about this guy, or do you feel when talking with her that she's still hiding something?
Is she being deliberately evasive?

I get the feeling we don't know the whole story here, but while you do have trust issues, I also have the gut feeling those trust issues are based on something real.

1. Approx 25
2. Approx 3 yrs now.
3. So far so good. She loves as far as I can tell. And I love her too.
4. No
5. No idea. I don't know that guy very well.
6. I don't think so. At least I always feel that she's always hiding something.
7. Yeah.

I do not know what to say.
When I first started reading the post I honestly and truly felt like our man in question was either a middleschool kid or some guy in HS. Now I really feel bad for him.

Dude something is wrong with your maturity level then again maybe something is wrong with mine, and I am just too mature. I am just 3 years older than you and I have a wife and 3 kids (been married since I was 25).

1) First and foremost like someone else said, COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT.
2) Something no else has mentioned through out the discussion is what it means to be a man.
a)Dude if the guy is pushin up on yo woman...dude you need to take him aside and tell him to back off.
b) I am not telling you to go out of your way to fight the guy but I am also not suggesting that you act
indifferent.
c)My experiences with women are that 99.9% of them like to made to feel important and attractive.
d)Some of the crazier ones like to actually test their male suitors to see if they will fight for
them. Its just natural. A female just likes to know that she has a strong male. Sometimes women
like men to get jealous over them in a small way. No woman likes an overly jealous partner and no
TRUE woman likes an overly sensitive, non-aggressive guy, no-take charge guy. If you are any of
these then you will have problems with your woman, and almost any woman you date in the future.
99.9% women do not like a "wimpy" sensistive man. Some women think they do, they date one for
a long period of time or short period of time, depending on their temperment, and then they realize
that like a steak eater who goes vegetarian cold turkey, they're just missing that edge. 99.9% true
women like a Strong, Agressive, sometimes Arrogant, take charge man who can be sensitive at the
right time.
e) Conclusion: If she has sent the guy her e-mail address, and she has said nothing to you about it,
you need to confront her in a nice adult like fashion. Eventually you will have to apologize to her for
invading her privacy, cuz that was stupid. Women like to be trusted as well. If you feel like you
cannot approach her and talk to her without balling her out or without suppressing your obvious
frustration and anger, then I suggest you either call her up on the phone, or e-mail her or better
yet right her a letter. Be prepared for the worst, but also be prepared for the best. Like I said
before, sometimes a woman self-consciously tests her male by either flirting with someone else, or
by allowing a potential suitor to flirt with her. If you have done your job:
a) Be a strong male
b) recognize her as attractice and important
c) Be aggressive
d) know when to take charge, and do "TAKE CHARGE"
e) know when to act sensitive (movies, deaths in the family, flowers, occasional poem) and ACT
sensitive....(you aint gotta be it, just act it real well sometimes).
f) Let her know that you are a man...
If you have not been doing your job, all I can say is...if you show weakness, or if you smell weak,
like animals, your woman will smell it on you and so will other guys. It is very dissrepectfull to see
men hitting on women who are taken or are married but that is way we "humans are"



f) One final note. I say all of this to you because I have experienced it first hand and it ain't a pretty
sight. When I dated the same woman from the time I was 21 to the time I was 24. 3 years like you.
I attended college back them and seemed like the whole campus knew she was my girlfriend. She
was not the most attractice girl in the world but because I was less than a real man around her, her
mind always wondered and wandered. The signs were all there after our 2nd year together. She
would get mad or frustrated at me for no reason. Sometimes she would hide things from me.
Sometimes she would act like she did not want to be around me in public even when we were out
at a club she would try to hang with her girls as opposed to her guy. You see I had allowed my self
to lose myself in being in love with her and in some way had become "clingy" (the worst thing a
guy can become) and completely "lovie-dovie". My girlfriend had issues with her self esteem (come
on,not to many women don't) and some clown who she had admired from afar decided to "notice"
her. When my girl got the chance (during an argument) she dumped me so that she could try the
grass on the other side of the fence. She came back 3 months later but I learned my lesson. I new
that if we got married, she could possibly still have that "What if" and "I wonder what" question
lying around in the back of her head, waiting to be answered by some momentary lack of
commitment and I would end up with some serious devestation. We broke up 7 months after we re-
united. I found a beautiful intelligent woman who I married after 2 years and we have been married
ever since. My wife is so beautiful that men of different races cannot help but to do a double take
when they first see her, but they respect me and will not "hit on her" or even stare at her because
they know I am her MAN and not her brother or a possible gay friend. I do my job as a man, and
when they hit on her from work she sqaushes them from the get go. I have never had a man call
my house and the only one that did was her boss, once, and when he did call, he had to pause and
get his wits about him cuz da brutha knew I was real....


If all else fails... yo man... you can be in love, but learn how to let her go... There are plenty of prettier, smarter, leggier, classier, richer, blonder, cleaner fish in the see. You can be happy.... dude be a man.... Do not let me hear or read about you going stupid psycho and cutting her up or shooting her if she does decide to skip out... just leave it alone and learn to get your nose off the computer screen and get some ballz playa....

Oh Yeah...sorry bout da book padnah... sorry

STAY OUT OF DA WOMAN's STUFF.... I don't want to see you and her on an episode of Cheaters...
Learn to trust her also. All things done in darkness will come to light. If she is playing you out you will find out eventually.

You have a right to know especially after 3 years. But you do not have the right to violate her privacy, until you are married (LOL)


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