So, if you know someone is trying to date ur gf, what would you do?

[BaDaBooM]

Ok, I wonder if some of you have ever been in a relationship.

#1 - Trust is earned, not given. If this situation hasn't come up until now then he doesn't know what she will do, though I would think it has in 3 years.

#2 - All you people yelling stalker, obviously don't know what that word means. People throw that term around too much now a days. Reminds me of the of New England witch hangings. If he has been her bf for 3 years and is still her bf, then it is impossible for him to be a stalker. A stalker is someone who either has never been in their life or is not currently in their life but follows them around and snoops on them anyway.

#3 - He is not a psycho. He already said he asked her about it and she was evaisive. Whoever said she doesn't owe him anything is full of crap. If they have been in a 3 year monogamous relationship then she owes it to him to be faithful just as he owes it to her. Now she may have other reasons for being evaisive but he has a right to know. There was nothing wrong with calling the number if he had some suspicions. Checking her email is a little more shaky but if she isn't being open about this then I can't say I blame him (though maybe not the right thing to do). He should definately try to talk to her again with a little more effort. But if you don't think the possibility exists that she could lie about it then you are naive. If she does, then how is he to know? Answer: He would have to find out on his own so he isn't one of those oblivious idiots who doesn't know his g/f is cheating on him.

If through talking to her you find out she is lying about it, I would indicate to her that the relationship hinges on her being honest and that you know more than she thinks you do. If she still lies, then I would break up with her. If she's honest then you get to talk about it and either work it out or not.

 

[reitz]

Originally posted by: RegaPlanet
plus if you end up getting beat up you can make up some story about how he kicked your ass and said he was gonna take your gf

EDIT: BTW, I do not live in a trailer park, I'm just very caveman'ish like.

And, let me guess, perpetually single?

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM
Ok, I wonder if some of you have ever been in a relationship.

#1 - Trust is earned, not given. If this situation hasn't come up until now then he doesn't know what she will do, though I would think it has in 3 years.

#2 - All you people yelling stalker, obviously don't know what that word means. People throw that term around too much now a days. Reminds me of the of New England witch hangings. If he has been her bf for 3 years and is still her bf, then it is impossible for him to be a stalker. A stalker is someone who either has never been in their life or is not currently in their life but follows them around and snoops on them anyway.

#3 - He is not a psycho. He already said he asked her about it and she was evaisive. Whoever said she doesn't owe him anything is full of crap. If they have been in a 3 year monogamous relationship then she owes it to him to be faithful just as he owes it to her. Now she may have other reasons for being evaisive but he has a right to know. There was nothing wrong with calling the number if he had some suspicions. Checking her email is a little more shaky but if she isn't being open about this then I can't say I blame him (though maybe not the right thing to do). He should definately try to talk to her again with a little more effort. But if you don't think the possibility exists that she could lie about it then you are naive. If she does, then how is he to know? Answer: He would have to find out on his own so he isn't one of those oblivious idiots who doesn't know his g/f is cheating on him.

If through talking to her you find out she is lying about it, I would indicate to her that the relationship hinges on her being honest and that you know more than she thinks you do. If she still lies, then I would break up with her. If she's honest then you get to talk about it and either work it out or not.

If he can't trust her word, he's never going to be able to trust her, what's next? What is the point of talking to her if he won't believe what she says anyway? If you cannot trust your partner, realize that it is already over...

If he feels he has to find out on his own by checking her e-mail and phone without her permission, he has a control problem....

 

[BaDaBooM]

SnapIT,

Like I said trust is earned, not given. If she has been trustworthy up until this point and then suddenly starts doing/saying things that don't line up, then should he dump her just because he isn't sure? Or should he ignore it and be oblivious? I don't think there is anything wrong with finding out more information. The fact is that there not much rhyme or reason to cheating. I have known couples that were married faithfully for 10 years. Then all of a sudden, one of them cheats. Under your advice, the person that was cheated on would have that 10 years of trust and so you would say that he should still blindly trust.... all the while he was, in fact, cheated on. I say trust unless given a reason not to trust.

 

[eakers]

i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

 

[BaDaBooM]

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

well said, eakers

 

[eakers]

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

and it's one of the only things IMHO that are 100% needed in a relationship... trust is so important it's not even funny.

 

[BaDaBooM]

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

Your situation may be different if you have been honest... you are right trust is extremely important. If you have that kind of trust then hopefully you would not be evaisive about something like this. However in his situation, he already attempted to talk to her about it and she was evaisive. He shouldn't try to find out more info if she had talked to him about it honestly. If someone is evaisive that gives suspicion of deception, and if she is being deceptive then she has already broken his trust and I say all bets are off. But you don't want to just dump someone until you find out the truth. If it turns out that she isn't cheating then they need to talk about why she was evaisive in the first place.

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM
SnapIT,

Like I said trust is earned, not given. If she has been trustworthy up until this point and then suddenly starts doing/saying things that don't line up, then should he dump her just because he isn't sure? Or should he ignore it and be oblivious? I don't think there is anything wrong with finding out more information. The fact is that there not much rhyme or reason to cheating. I have known couples that were married faithfully for 10 years. Then all of a sudden, one of them cheats. Under your advice, the person that was cheated on would have that 10 years of trust and so you would say that he should still blindly trust.... all the while he was, in fact, cheated on. I say trust unless given a reason not to trust.

If he doesn't care what she says because he feels he cannot trust her, what should he do? Check her e-mail, check her phone? What if he found nothing there? Follow her around? When does it stop, when does he realize that what she says is true? Never...

The fact is, HE is the one who cannot be trusted with her phone or getting near her e-mail...

Under my own advice, which you did not get, obviously (either that or you are just trying to twist my words), you have to take her word for it, or decide that she cannot be trusted... It's that simple...

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

Your situation may be different if you have been honest... you are right trust is extremely important. If you have that kind of trust then hopefully you would not be evaisive about something like this. However in his situation, he already attempted to talk to her about it and she was evaisive. He shouldn't try to find out more info if she had talked to him about it honestly. If someone is evaisive that gives suspicion of deception, and if she is being deceptive then she has already broken his trust and I say all bets are off. But you don't want to just dump someone until you find out the truth. If it turns out that she isn't cheating then they need to talk about why she was evaisive in the first place.

If she has broken his trust? How would he know? He doesn't, that is why no bets are off....

And WHEN does it stop? is it possible that she does not e-mail with him, or only calls him from work? Then what are you going to do... The problem is that you can NEVER know for sure, no matter how many e-mail accounts you check, no matter how many phones you check... if it has gotten that far, the trust is gone and the relationship is over...

 

[BaDaBooM]

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM
SnapIT,

Like I said trust is earned, not given. If she has been trustworthy up until this point and then suddenly starts doing/saying things that don't line up, then should he dump her just because he isn't sure? Or should he ignore it and be oblivious? I don't think there is anything wrong with finding out more information. The fact is that there not much rhyme or reason to cheating. I have known couples that were married faithfully for 10 years. Then all of a sudden, one of them cheats. Under your advice, the person that was cheated on would have that 10 years of trust and so you would say that he should still blindly trust.... all the while he was, in fact, cheated on. I say trust unless given a reason not to trust.

If he doesn't care what she says because he feels he cannot trust her, what should he do? Check her e-mail, check her phone? What if he found nothing there? Follow her around? When does it stop, when does he realize that what she says is true? Never...

The fact is, HE is the one who cannot be trusted with her phone or getting near her e-mail...

Under my own advice, which you did not get, obviously (either that or you are just trying to twist my words), you have to take her word for it, or decide that she cannot be trusted... It's that simple...

Who said he doesn't care what she says... it's all about whether what she says lines up with the facts. He is in the midst of deciding whether she can or cannot be trusted, but he can't just psychically guess... he has to base it on facts. And there was no twisting of words my friend... If you think that then answer the question I asked. My friend has been married for 10 years with no reason to mis-trust their spouse. However recently there is small things that give to suspicion, but she is evaisive. Should he just blindly trust her? She has been faithful for 10 years. Keep in mind that she really was cheating, but he doesn't know it. Like I said trust until there is reason not to trust.

 

[BaDaBooM]

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

Your situation may be different if you have been honest... you are right trust is extremely important. If you have that kind of trust then hopefully you would not be evaisive about something like this. However in his situation, he already attempted to talk to her about it and she was evaisive. He shouldn't try to find out more info if she had talked to him about it honestly. If someone is evaisive that gives suspicion of deception, and if she is being deceptive then she has already broken his trust and I say all bets are off. But you don't want to just dump someone until you find out the truth. If it turns out that she isn't cheating then they need to talk about why she was evaisive in the first place.

If she has broken his trust? How would he know? He doesn't, that is why no bets are off....

And WHEN does it stop? is it possible that she does not e-mail with him, or only calls him from work? Then what are you going to do... The problem is that you can NEVER know for sure, no matter how many e-mail accounts you check, no matter how many phones you check... if it has gotten that far, the trust is gone and the relationship is over...

Right he doesn't know, but the fact that she isn't being open about it means that he should find out why. And it stops when you are satisfied. This is a case by case judgement call... if he confronts her and is satisfied that everything is ok, then stop... if he confronts her and catches her in a lie... then I would dump her.

 

[BD231]

I'd just ask her if she had mixed feelings stso, a guy hitting on your girl while knowing shes your girl is seiriously f*cked up but you snooping around is not great either (though not as bad as the people in this thread are making it out to be, they've probably never had the chance to be in such a situation). Don't cut corners, it's obvious this guy is hitting on her so you need to ask her about him (just say you've noticed him looking at her). In the future just be up front about this kind of stuff with girls, snooping will only get you in trouble.

 

[stso]

If he can't trust her word, he's never going to be able to trust her, what's next? What is the point of talking to her if he won't believe what she says anyway? If you cannot trust your partner, realize that it is already over...

If he feels he has to find out on his own by checking her e-mail and phone without her permission, he has a control problem....

If she tells me "No, I'm not dating with him, and I have no interest in him" , I'd believe her. As I said previously, she was evasive when I asked about it few months back.

 

[stso]

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

I said I did ask her about it few month back ... go read previous posts before posting such comment.

 

[blurredvision]

Originally posted by: Yield

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

well said, eakers

Not well said. The only problem I have is with the first sentence. Yes, if you are caught going through your gf's stuff, she has a right to dump you. Yes, it is her decision to go out with someone else. But if you girlfriend is sleeping around on you, and you are pretty damn sure she is, then I say go through all of her sh!t. If I ever had a reason to suspect my girlfriend was cheating on me (and it'd have to be a GOOD reason), don't think I wouldn't take a look in her purse while she was in the shower.

A relationship is built on trust. And if you can't trust her, then it should only be right that she can't trust you. I'm not saying going through her phone history or email is the right thing to do, after all, there are things called morals. But if she has nothing to hide, then there should be no problem with you seeing who has called or who has sent her email in her inbox.

From what you've explained, I see nothing wrong with what you've done thus far. You now just have to sit back and wait. Talk to her and see what her decision is.

 

[blurredvision]

And just to add a note to those who are without a doubt are going to bash my way of thinking, I look at this from the other perspective as well. If I were cheating on my girlfriend, and she went through my things, yes, I'd might get a little angry, but all in the end it would be my fault. And in my point of view, her going through my stuff is completely justified.

That's why I suggest only doing it if you have a strong suspicion. If you go through her stuff and she's not involved in any wrongdoing, then it's your ass if you're caught.

 

[Excelsior]

Id say, just out of the tiny bit of experience I have, that once you lose any trust you had before, and are incapable of trusting again, then its over. Forget about it. And I am on your side, cause everyone else who bashes you, well, of course its their opinion but honestly. You weren't snooping around the first 3 years (not that I know of). Obviously the first thing to do is talk to her. If she refuses to talk about it, etc, just forget about her.

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM
SnapIT,

Like I said trust is earned, not given. If she has been trustworthy up until this point and then suddenly starts doing/saying things that don't line up, then should he dump her just because he isn't sure? Or should he ignore it and be oblivious? I don't think there is anything wrong with finding out more information. The fact is that there not much rhyme or reason to cheating. I have known couples that were married faithfully for 10 years. Then all of a sudden, one of them cheats. Under your advice, the person that was cheated on would have that 10 years of trust and so you would say that he should still blindly trust.... all the while he was, in fact, cheated on. I say trust unless given a reason not to trust.

If he doesn't care what she says because he feels he cannot trust her, what should he do? Check her e-mail, check her phone? What if he found nothing there? Follow her around? When does it stop, when does he realize that what she says is true? Never...

The fact is, HE is the one who cannot be trusted with her phone or getting near her e-mail...

Under my own advice, which you did not get, obviously (either that or you are just trying to twist my words), you have to take her word for it, or decide that she cannot be trusted... It's that simple...

Who said he doesn't care what she says... it's all about whether what she says lines up with the facts. He is in the midst of deciding whether she can or cannot be trusted, but he can't just psychically guess... he has to base it on facts. And there was no twisting of words my friend... If you think that then answer the question I asked. My friend has been married for 10 years with no reason to mis-trust their spouse. However recently there is small things that give to suspicion, but she is evaisive. Should he just blindly trust her? She has been faithful for 10 years. Keep in mind that she really was cheating, but he doesn't know it. Like I said trust until there is reason not to trust.

Geez, i hope my daughter never get's close to one of your kind...

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

Your situation may be different if you have been honest... you are right trust is extremely important. If you have that kind of trust then hopefully you would not be evaisive about something like this. However in his situation, he already attempted to talk to her about it and she was evaisive. He shouldn't try to find out more info if she had talked to him about it honestly. If someone is evaisive that gives suspicion of deception, and if she is being deceptive then she has already broken his trust and I say all bets are off. But you don't want to just dump someone until you find out the truth. If it turns out that she isn't cheating then they need to talk about why she was evaisive in the first place.

If she has broken his trust? How would he know? He doesn't, that is why no bets are off....

And WHEN does it stop? is it possible that she does not e-mail with him, or only calls him from work? Then what are you going to do... The problem is that you can NEVER know for sure, no matter how many e-mail accounts you check, no matter how many phones you check... if it has gotten that far, the trust is gone and the relationship is over...

Right he doesn't know, but the fact that she isn't being open about it means that he should find out why. And it stops when you are satisfied. This is a case by case judgement call... if he confronts her and is satisfied that everything is ok, then stop... if he confronts her and catches her in a lie... then I would dump her.

She isn't being open???? she is telling him the truth, or if she isn't, she is cheating, either way, he should break up with her, no trust, no nothing...

He didn't confront her again and again, he went and checked her e-mail and called a number on her cell phone... what is it you do not get? IT IS WRONG!

 

[stso]

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

Your situation may be different if you have been honest... you are right trust is extremely important. If you have that kind of trust then hopefully you would not be evaisive about something like this. However in his situation, he already attempted to talk to her about it and she was evaisive. He shouldn't try to find out more info if she had talked to him about it honestly. If someone is evaisive that gives suspicion of deception, and if she is being deceptive then she has already broken his trust and I say all bets are off. But you don't want to just dump someone until you find out the truth. If it turns out that she isn't cheating then they need to talk about why she was evaisive in the first place.

If she has broken his trust? How would he know? He doesn't, that is why no bets are off....

And WHEN does it stop? is it possible that she does not e-mail with him, or only calls him from work? Then what are you going to do... The problem is that you can NEVER know for sure, no matter how many e-mail accounts you check, no matter how many phones you check... if it has gotten that far, the trust is gone and the relationship is over...

Right he doesn't know, but the fact that she isn't being open about it means that he should find out why. And it stops when you are satisfied. This is a case by case judgement call... if he confronts her and is satisfied that everything is ok, then stop... if he confronts her and catches her in a lie... then I would dump her.

She isn't being open???? she is telling him the truth, or if she isn't, she is cheating, either way, he should break up with her, no trust, no nothing...

He didn't confront her again and again, he went and checked her e-mail and called a number on her cell phone... what is it you do not get? IT IS WRONG!

It was few months back ... and I didn't want to push her too hard on that.
And I didn't check her stuff after recently I accidentally saw the phone number on her cell phone ...

 

[SnapIT]

Originally posted by: stso

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: SnapIT

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers

Originally posted by: BaDaBooM

Originally posted by: eakers
i don't care if your gf is having sex with other guys, nothing gives you the right to check her phone history and email.

i would dump someone on the spot if i found out they were doing that.

furthermore, its her decision if she wants to go out with him, if she is there is obviously something missing in your relationship.

Sounds like someone who would be mad that there would be a way to catch them cheating. I'd say investing 3 years in a relationship gives someone the right to know the truth. Cheating is one of the worst things someone can do to a significant other who loves them. If she wants to go out with him, then she OWES it to him to be honest about it and break up with him. I hate it when people excuse cheating. If you want to see someone else then stop being a coward and tell the other person first.

after 3 years in a relationship i would hope that my bf would come to me and ask me about something like this rather than sneaking through my stuff.
i have been in a 3 year relationship and neither one of us never once went through the other ones personal thing. its called trust and it makes a healthy relationship

Your situation may be different if you have been honest... you are right trust is extremely important. If you have that kind of trust then hopefully you would not be evaisive about something like this. However in his situation, he already attempted to talk to her about it and she was evaisive. He shouldn't try to find out more info if she had talked to him about it honestly. If someone is evaisive that gives suspicion of deception, and if she is being deceptive then she has already broken his trust and I say all bets are off. But you don't want to just dump someone until you find out the truth. If it turns out that she isn't cheating then they need to talk about why she was evaisive in the first place.

If she has broken his trust? How would he know? He doesn't, that is why no bets are off....

And WHEN does it stop? is it possible that she does not e-mail with him, or only calls him from work? Then what are you going to do... The problem is that you can NEVER know for sure, no matter how many e-mail accounts you check, no matter how many phones you check... if it has gotten that far, the trust is gone and the relationship is over...

Right he doesn't know, but the fact that she isn't being open about it means that he should find out why. And it stops when you are satisfied. This is a case by case judgement call... if he confronts her and is satisfied that everything is ok, then stop... if he confronts her and catches her in a lie... then I would dump her.

She isn't being open???? she is telling him the truth, or if she isn't, she is cheating, either way, he should break up with her, no trust, no nothing...

He didn't confront her again and again, he went and checked her e-mail and called a number on her cell phone... what is it you do not get? IT IS WRONG!

It was few months back ... and I didn't want to push her too hard on that.
And I didn't check her stuff after recently I accidentally saw the phone number on her cell phone ...

And you didn't check her recently? and this is a defence in what way?

You need help, your need for control is getting out of hand!

 

[Excelsior]

If she has nothing to hide, then what the hell is the big problem? Jesus christ! if someone was looking through my crap I wouldnt care, UNLESS I WAS HIDING SOMETHING. But yeah, just dump her if you cant trust her, which sounds like it.