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Small (pc?) vacuum cleaner for ears?

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I use an ear pick. If it's ever bad, make an appointment to your local ENT (ear, nose, throat) doc to have them vacuum your ears.
 
Try taking a shower once a week and you will be fine. 😉

Unless this is your problem:

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Imagine what spider eggs hatching must sound like when it's happening right in your ear.
 
no, every medical professional tells you not to do this...

IMO I think that's because too many stupid people don't know how to use a q-tip properly without risk of injury. When I go to the doctor, they like the inside of my ears because I keep it clean regularly. It feels very uncomfortable if I don't swab the inside of my ear. The worst thing to enter my ear was ring-worm (fungal infection). Made the ear super tender and skin flaking off. Ended up treating it with a q-tip + Ketoconazole and Pyrithione Zinc. Has taken a long time to heal and in the beginning, my ear was extremely tender and it was painful but now has healed pretty good and I think I'm pretty close to being cured of that ailment.
 
That just pushes it farther back!! (uugghh)

Obviously, according to medical professionals, the typical human being is incapable of handling a Q-tip inside their ear canal and I'm not recommending it...

But I've been Q-tipping daily forever. No infections, no damage, no problems. I skillfully maneuver the Q-tip so that it removes wax from all around my eardrum, then clean the ear canal. The Q-tips that go in come out practically pristine. Never had to see a doctor to remove anything, never looked up a remedy to melt the wax at home.

Only major ear injury I ever suffered was when some fuqing prick in grade school stuck a pine-needle into my ear and caused bleeding on my drum -- that same c*nt shot a laser pointer in my eye, then he wondered why I didn't want to be his friend when we changed schools.
 
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