Shut up or ship out? Advice needed.

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Czesia

Senior member
Nov 22, 2003
296
0
0
Well, first of all, I'd like to say that I do follow my parents' rules because I also tend to agree that as long as I live under their roof, it's their rules. That being said, I also communicate with my parents quite regularly about this. None of this is really new to them or me, it's been going on for years. I think that it has just gotten worse now that I am older and wanting them to treat me the way they would any other adult. So acting like an adult isn't the issue here.

As far as being religious, yes, I come from a religious family. I think that the majority of their "ideas" are based on their cultural upbringing. My grandparents (from Europe) are equally as strict and restrictive and I can even see it, even though their own children are grown up.

Finally, I'd like to remind you guys that I want to move out and live on my own, but I don't want to make a bad move. I don't want to mess up my education. I'm broke and I've basically tried to weigh out each possible scenario, and it looks to me like it would be near impossible to afford moving on my own. Also, I've tried talking to friends about sharing an apt, but why move out when you can live at home for free and you get along with everyone there?

Any other suggestions? I've honestly weighed out as many of the options as I can, but I just can't seem to figure out how to fix this problem.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,386
1,525
126
move out, but don't move in with your bf

i mean really, if you try hard enough this shouldn't cost you more than 300/month for rent/ute's (sharing a room with somebody else). do you work? if not better find a job

why move out when you can live at home for free and you get along with everyone there?
because at home you can't do sht
 

Czesia

Senior member
Nov 22, 2003
296
0
0
Originally posted by: NeuroSynapsis
i mean really, if you try hard enough this shouldn't cost you more than 300/month for rent/ute's (sharing a room with somebody else). do you work? if not better find a job
Funny thing is I'm currently working 2 jobs at the university and should be starting a 3rd job soon (the paperwork isn't through yet), but I don't think the wage is enough (realistically speaking) to get me on my own two feet.
 

BigToque

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
11,700
0
76
Hey, I'm her boyfriend and I've always told her that the best thing for her is to get out of the house. I say get get a student loan and get out on your own. She tells me she doesn't want a loan so I talked to my parents and they say it's fine for her to stay with us if she likes (I think my mom likes her more than she likes me :)).

I think if you want out, you should get a loan and live on your own, or stay with me until you have enough $$ to be on your own.

As for you guys telling her to reason with her parents... you have noooooo idea what her parents are like. They are like the Terminator of logic and reasoning. They will not stop, ever, until logic is dead.

Seriously you have a better chance of having a civil conversation with a rabbid rottweiler that you just kicked in the nuts after you jerked it off.
 

Czesia

Senior member
Nov 22, 2003
296
0
0
Originally posted by: Stefan
Hey, I'm her boyfriend and I've always told her that the best thing for her is to get out of the house. I say get get a student loan and get out on your own. She tells me she doesn't want a loan so I talked to my parents and they say it's fine for her to stay with us if she likes (I think my mom likes her more than she likes me :)).

I think if you want out, you should get a loan and live on your own, or stay with me until you have enough $$ to be on your own.

As for you guys telling her to reason with her parents... you have noooooo idea what her parents are like. They are like the Terminator of logic and reasoning. They will not stop, ever, until logic is dead.

Seriously you have a better chance of having a civil conversation with a rabbid rottweiler that you just kicked in the nuts after you jerked it off.
Thank you for that revelation, Stefan... :confused::)

Originally posted by: Mill
Are your parents Christians or something?
Yes, they are christian and so am I.
 

miri

Diamond Member
Jun 16, 2003
3,679
0
76
Find a Nice upscale/expensive restaurant that gets a steady flow of business and get a job there. You maybe able to make upwards of $15-20 depending on a lot of factors and combine that with student loans and you may be able to be financially independent.
 

BigToque

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
11,700
0
76
Originally posted by: Mill
Are your parents Christians or something?
Her parents are christian. They are also judgemental pricks (well at least her mother is - I like her dad). Her mother hates me and my family. She thinks she is better than me and my family because "they don't believe what we believe".

I'm not even gonna get started... Her mother is the prime example of why people outlash against religion.
 

Mill

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
28,558
3
81
Originally posted by: Mill
Are your parents Christians or something?
Yes, they are christian and so am I.[/quote]

Well basically you ared pwned then unless you do like me. I do what I want to do and my parents know that. They are die hard Christians but they can't do anything about what I do in life. I am very strong willed so they have to deal. Obviously you lack guts about now...

 

Czesia

Senior member
Nov 22, 2003
296
0
0
Working in a restaurant may not be a bad idea, thanks Miri. As far as having guts, it's more about respect. As stated earlier, their house, their rules. I realize this which is why I want to try to find some way to get out.
 

AlienCraft

Lifer
Nov 23, 2002
10,539
0
0
Suck it up. Toe the line, keep yourself pointed at the long term goal.... Med School.
Taking the BF's family offer is a shortcut. There are no shortcuts, except inheritance, which can fix this. Your family is probably more afraid of you being sidetracked before you realize the goal you've said you have.
Try to leep this in mind as you discuss your social plans with them.
When you're out in your own place, you can take all the coed trips you want.
Don't confuse the short term with long term happiness. Immediate gratification isn't always what it's made out to be.
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
3
0
As for you guys telling her to reason with her parents... you have noooooo idea what her parents are like. They are like the Terminator of logic and reasoning. They will not stop, ever, until logic is dead.

Seriously you have a better chance of having a civil conversation with a rabbid rottweiler that you just kicked in the nuts after you jerked it off.
OMG, somebody get this in the AT quote database STAT!
 

Mill

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
28,558
3
81
Originally posted by: Czesia
Working in a restaurant may not be a bad idea, thanks Miri. As far as having guts, it's more about respect. As stated earlier, their house, their rules. I realize this which is why I want to try to find some way to get out.
Umm... if you move out it has nothing to do with respect. You can't be their lapdogs forever.
But yes, in their house it is their rules. That's why you move the flippity fvck out.
 

DannyBoy

Diamond Member
Nov 27, 2002
8,820
2
81
www.danj.me
Originally posted by: NeuroSynapsis
move out, but don't move in with your bf

i mean really, if you try hard enough this shouldn't cost you more than 300/month for rent/ute's (sharing a room with somebody else). do you work? if not better find a job

why move out when you can live at home for free and you get along with everyone there?
because at home you can't do sht
That's bollocks.

I know a guy who moved out of a perfectly good home with his parents because he "Couldn't bring girls back to his house"...

He moved out and now he is up sh1t creek without a paddle financially.

It would of cost him a LOT less to simply goto a hotel on the evening's he wanted to play pimp
 

Savij

Diamond Member
Nov 12, 2001
4,233
0
71
What about offering your parents a (small) amount for rent in exchange for some freedom?
 

patrick409

Senior member
Aug 13, 2003
233
1
0
My advice is to stay home until you graduate. Dont move in with your boyfriend.

Although it sucks that your parents dont let you do any of the "fun" stuff like staying overnight after a party or coed camping, they DO let you GO to parties and stuff right? It's not like they impose a 10pm curfew on you right?

Is it really worth slaving over 3 jobs and barely being able to get by while being flooded by loans just so you can have more FUN? It seems to me like you want to move out so you can stay out late and goof off. (I'm sure that's not all there is to it, but think about that for a second.)

I understand where you're coming from though, a couple of my friends are in the same situation where their parents are really restrictive about them staying out late and all, even though we're all college seniors. I guess I'm lucky my parents aren't like that.

Since you're almost graduating, I suggest you wait til you get into your med school or whatever and see if they'll relax their limitations then. College students in most parents minds are still babies, but a 22 year old in medical school might finally make them realize their kid is all grown up. Good look.
 

BigToque

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
11,700
0
76
Originally posted by: Skoorb
As for you guys telling her to reason with her parents... you have noooooo idea what her parents are like. They are like the Terminator of logic and reasoning. They will not stop, ever, until logic is dead.

Seriously you have a better chance of having a civil conversation with a rabbid rottweiler that you just kicked in the nuts after you jerked it off.
OMG, somebody get this in the AT quote database STAT!
:beer::D
 

StageLeft

No Lifer
Sep 29, 2000
70,150
3
0
Originally posted by: DannyBoy
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Move in with Mill, he's got a spare room :D
If I marry him can I get a GreenCard to live in the states then divorce him the next day?
I think you need to stay married for 2 years!

 

Mill

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
28,558
3
81
Originally posted by: DannyBoy
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Originally posted by: DannyBoy
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Move in with Mill, he's got a spare room :D
If I marry him can I get a GreenCard to live in the states then divorce him the next day?
I think you need to stay married for 2 years!
You're joking? :(
I'll do you for two years. C'mere pretty boy!
 

DannyBoy

Diamond Member
Nov 27, 2002
8,820
2
81
www.danj.me
Originally posted by: Mill
Originally posted by: DannyBoy
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Originally posted by: DannyBoy
Originally posted by: Skoorb
Move in with Mill, he's got a spare room :D
If I marry him can I get a GreenCard to live in the states then divorce him the next day?
I think you need to stay married for 2 years!
You're joking? :(
I'll do you for two years. C'mere pretty boy!
Oh shweetie :heart: :eek:
 

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