Should wives be submissive to their husbands?

[n yusef]

Originally posted by: lxskllr

Originally posted by: n yusef

Originally posted by: JTsyo
I think couples should decide early on who wears the pants in the family. Not all husbands are meant to be in charge and there are plenty of assertive women. You need to find your balance if things are going to work out.

Why does one (and only one) person need to "wear the pants?"

Because too many chiefs=chaos

There doesn't need to be a chief at all. As I see it, a successful relationship is an equal partnership, without a hierarchy. Both partners are fully autonomous and neither needs to be led by the other (although they have the ability to consent to power dynamics).

 

[Chiropteran]

Your wife should be submissive to me.

 

[Apple Of Sodom]

Originally posted by: n yusef

Originally posted by: JTsyo
I think couples should decide early on who wears the pants in the family. Not all husbands are meant to be in charge and there are plenty of assertive women. You need to find your balance if things are going to work out.

Why does one (and only one) person need to "wear the pants?"

I agree with this. My wife and I operate more as a team. We are both rational and can anticipate what the other is feeling or going to say. Sometimes she is more assertive; sometimes I am. For example...I'm much better at confronting stupid family than she is. She is much better at bitching out a stranger than I am.

If she did start yelling at someone in the store for a stupid reason I'm not sure how I would react. I would probably diffuse that situation before it got to that point. I didn't marry some white trash who cannot control herself.

 

[lxskllr]

Originally posted by: n yusef


There doesn't need to be a chief at all. As I see it, a successful relationship is an equal partnership, without a hierarchy. Both partners are fully autonomous and neither needs to be led by the other (although they have the ability to consent to power dynamics).

A leadership role should always be taken by one or the other. The different tasks should be split up by expertise. That makes any partnership go smoother.

 

[Zenmervolt]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
like if the wife is mad and yelling at someone and the husband grabs her arm and says "stop it!", she should.

The husband should not, under any circumstances, do what you just described. That is a method for dealing with a child and any husband who treats his wife as though she were a child throwing a tantrum is no man at all.

ZV

EDIT: Friggin time warps.

So, your wife is upset at someone else for something very dear to her, and snaps off at some innocent person at a store about something trivial. Starts yelling. How would you stop her? Or would you just let her go off and look like a man who can't keep his woman in check? (not saying men should be all about keeping their women in check, but they shouldn't let their wives walk all over them either)

Speaking theoretically as I am single:

First of all, she's not "my" woman. I do not "own" her in any sense. She is an independent person who can make her own decisions; she is, in short, a free adult. If she were making a scene, I would, at most, place a hand gently on her shoulder and calmly (i.e. no exclamation points) ask that she take some time to calm down so that she can address the situation rationally.

"Grabbing" her and harshly telling her to "stop it!" is inappropriate unless she is threatening someone with physical violence (in which case there are larger issues at play and such actions would be indicative of serious mental imbalance). It shows that you do not respect her as a fully-functioning adult and instead view her, emotionally and intellectually, as a child. Those feelings are an unsuitable basis for a marriage and a man who resorted to such actions looks like an imbecile.

Very bluntly, the opinion of any person who would criticize my choice to treat my wife as an equal is simply not worth acknowledging. Why should I care if some moronic neanderthal thinks I "can't keep my woman in check"?

ZV

 

[miketheidiot]

Originally posted by: spidey07
For the most part yes. The man leads, the woman follows. But it's done out of mutual respect.

i would never be involved with such a woman; might as well just get a dog.

 

[MotF Bane]

I like where this thread is going.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
I think that wives should generally be submissive to their husbands. I DON't think husbands should abuse this though and I don't mean like a dictator "Go do the dishes. Do the laundry. etc." but more out of respect, like if the wife is mad and yelling at someone and the husband grabs her arm and says "stop it!", she should.

/flamesuit on

Discuss.

Bullshit. Marriage is a partnership. You are both in it together so you make decisions together as a team and you respect each other enough to listen to both sides.

Honestly, my wife and I don't always see eye to eye on everything but we both tend to come to an agreement on the things that really matter like what we spend our money on, how to raise our son, etc.

 

[spidey07]

Originally posted by: miketheidiot

Originally posted by: spidey07
For the most part yes. The man leads, the woman follows. But it's done out of mutual respect.

i would never be involved with such a woman; might as well just get a dog.

Don't knock it till you've tried it. It's pure bliss for both sides.

 

[her209]

What if she's beating or verbally abusing the kids? Should the dad intervene and tell her to "stop"?

 

[buck]

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

 

[zoiks]

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
like if the wife is mad and yelling at someone and the husband grabs her arm and says "stop it!", she should.

The husband should not, under any circumstances, do what you just described. That is a method for dealing with a child and any husband who treats his wife as though she were a child throwing a tantrum is no man at all.

ZV

EDIT: Friggin time warps.

So, your wife is upset at someone else for something very dear to her, and snaps off at some innocent person at a store about something trivial. Starts yelling. How would you stop her? Or would you just let her go off and look like a man who can't keep his woman in check? (not saying men should be all about keeping their women in check, but they shouldn't let their wives walk all over them either)

Speaking theoretically as I am single:

First of all, she's not "my" woman. I do not "own" her in any sense. She is an independent person who can make her own decisions; she is, in short, a free adult. If she were making a scene, I would, at most, place a hand gently on her shoulder and calmly (i.e. no exclamation points) ask that she take some time to calm down so that she can address the situation rationally.

"Grabbing" her and harshly telling her to "stop it!" is inappropriate unless she is threatening someone with physical violence (in which case there are larger issues at play and such actions would be indicative of serious mental imbalance). It shows that you do not respect her as a fully-functioning adult and instead view her, emotionally and intellectually, as a child. Those feelings are an unsuitable basis for a marriage and a man who resorted to such actions looks like an imbecile.

Very bluntly, the opinion of any person who would criticize my choice to treat my wife as an equal is simply not worth acknowledging. Why should I care if some moronic neanderthal thinks I "can't keep my woman in check"?

ZV

Ah. But ZV what would you do if she were to ask you to make a choice between her and your Porsche.

 

[Dumac]

Everyone's relationship is different. Some wives are submissive, just as some husbands are submissive. It all depends on how the couple works, but as any relationship, communication is key.

 

[Dumac]

Originally posted by: buck
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

wear a bra when jogging?

 

[lxskllr]

Originally posted by: buck
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice :^P

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
like if the wife is mad and yelling at someone and the husband grabs her arm and says "stop it!", she should.

The husband should not, under any circumstances, do what you just described. That is a method for dealing with a child and any husband who treats his wife as though she were a child throwing a tantrum is no man at all.

ZV

EDIT: Friggin time warps.

So, your wife is upset at someone else for something very dear to her, and snaps off at some innocent person at a store about something trivial. Starts yelling. How would you stop her? Or would you just let her go off and look like a man who can't keep his woman in check? (not saying men should be all about keeping their women in check, but they shouldn't let their wives walk all over them either)

Women are people and are responsible for their own actions. You could enter the situation and make an attempt to change it as somebody she loves and respects but there is no special knowledge or superiority that you have that intrinsically places you over her.

You've clearly made this an issue of male pride by being concerned about looking like a man who can't keep "his" woman in check. In reality trying to keep your woman in check makes you look like an underdeveloped caveman, not like an in-charge intelligent man.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: zoiks

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
like if the wife is mad and yelling at someone and the husband grabs her arm and says "stop it!", she should.

The husband should not, under any circumstances, do what you just described. That is a method for dealing with a child and any husband who treats his wife as though she were a child throwing a tantrum is no man at all.

ZV

EDIT: Friggin time warps.

So, your wife is upset at someone else for something very dear to her, and snaps off at some innocent person at a store about something trivial. Starts yelling. How would you stop her? Or would you just let her go off and look like a man who can't keep his woman in check? (not saying men should be all about keeping their women in check, but they shouldn't let their wives walk all over them either)

Speaking theoretically as I am single:

First of all, she's not "my" woman. I do not "own" her in any sense. She is an independent person who can make her own decisions; she is, in short, a free adult. If she were making a scene, I would, at most, place a hand gently on her shoulder and calmly (i.e. no exclamation points) ask that she take some time to calm down so that she can address the situation rationally.

"Grabbing" her and harshly telling her to "stop it!" is inappropriate unless she is threatening someone with physical violence (in which case there are larger issues at play and such actions would be indicative of serious mental imbalance). It shows that you do not respect her as a fully-functioning adult and instead view her, emotionally and intellectually, as a child. Those feelings are an unsuitable basis for a marriage and a man who resorted to such actions looks like an imbecile.

Very bluntly, the opinion of any person who would criticize my choice to treat my wife as an equal is simply not worth acknowledging. Why should I care if some moronic neanderthal thinks I "can't keep my woman in check"?

ZV

Ah. But ZV what would you do if she were to ask you to make a choice between her and your Porsche.

Find one who wouldn't make demands like that?

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: zoiks

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: Zenmervolt

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
like if the wife is mad and yelling at someone and the husband grabs her arm and says "stop it!", she should.

The husband should not, under any circumstances, do what you just described. That is a method for dealing with a child and any husband who treats his wife as though she were a child throwing a tantrum is no man at all.

ZV

EDIT: Friggin time warps.

So, your wife is upset at someone else for something very dear to her, and snaps off at some innocent person at a store about something trivial. Starts yelling. How would you stop her? Or would you just let her go off and look like a man who can't keep his woman in check? (not saying men should be all about keeping their women in check, but they shouldn't let their wives walk all over them either)

Speaking theoretically as I am single:

First of all, she's not "my" woman. I do not "own" her in any sense. She is an independent person who can make her own decisions; she is, in short, a free adult. If she were making a scene, I would, at most, place a hand gently on her shoulder and calmly (i.e. no exclamation points) ask that she take some time to calm down so that she can address the situation rationally.

"Grabbing" her and harshly telling her to "stop it!" is inappropriate unless she is threatening someone with physical violence (in which case there are larger issues at play and such actions would be indicative of serious mental imbalance). It shows that you do not respect her as a fully-functioning adult and instead view her, emotionally and intellectually, as a child. Those feelings are an unsuitable basis for a marriage and a man who resorted to such actions looks like an imbecile.

Very bluntly, the opinion of any person who would criticize my choice to treat my wife as an equal is simply not worth acknowledging. Why should I care if some moronic neanderthal thinks I "can't keep my woman in check"?

ZV

Ah. But ZV what would you do if she were to ask you to make a choice between her and your Porsche.

ZV, I didn't say it! It wasn't me!!

(damn time warps; see up for my real response to this thread.)

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: spidey07

Originally posted by: miketheidiot

Originally posted by: spidey07
For the most part yes. The man leads, the woman follows. But it's done out of mutual respect.

i would never be involved with such a woman; might as well just get a dog.

Don't knock it till you've tried it. It's pure bliss for both sides.

Tried what? Beastiality?

 

[actuarial]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
LOL. I am not suggesting wife beating at all. I said, grab her arm, not pimp slap.

I'll tell ya this much, if you did this to one of my sisters I would do a lot more than grab your arm.

Also, you're a chauvinistic moron. If I did this to my fiance and she didn't kick me in the balls for it I would leave her for being a spineless pushover.

I seriously hope one day a woman does that to you when you go on some pissy rant to a stranger (and let's be honest, men embarrass women in this way FAR more than women embarrass men), and when you question it she tells you she couldn't look like she didn't have control of her husband.

 

[thecoolnessrune]

I believe yes, she should be submissive. Equal or not there eventually comes a time where the partner will want two different directions and *someone* has to give in given that both directions hold equal gain, and equal risks.

I won't go into such a thing here because you obviously can't talk about such things in a forum such as ATOT, which is directed by emotions of "I am right and you are wrong so there!"

Still my general feeling and the way me and my SO tend to do things is equal input and discussion, debates on decisions, with the ultimate decision by me should we run into an unresolvable conflict.

 

[ghostman]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK

Originally posted by: spidey07
For the most part yes. The man leads, the woman follows. But it's done out of mutual respect.

That's what I think. The woman shouldn't be submissive out of fear, but out of respect.

Most of the women I know would knee you in the nads if you tried that. Knee you in the nads out of respect, of course.

 

[Dumac]

Originally posted by: actuarial

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
LOL. I am not suggesting wife beating at all. I said, grab her arm, not pimp slap.

I'll tell ya this much, if you did this to one of my sisters I would do a lot more than grab your arm.

Also, you're a chauvinistic moron. If I did this to my fiance and she didn't kick me in the balls for it I would leave her for being a spineless pushover.

I seriously hope one day a woman does that to you when you go on some pissy rant to a stranger (and let's be honest, men embarrass women in this way FAR more than women embarrass men), and when you question it she tells you she couldn't look like she didn't have control of her husband.

Explain?

 

[Capt Caveman]

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
I think that wives should generally be submissive to their husbands. I DON't think husbands should abuse this though and I don't mean like a dictator "Go do the dishes. Do the laundry. etc." but more out of respect, like if the wife is mad and yelling at someone and the husband grabs her arm and says "stop it!", she should.

/flamesuit on

Discuss.

Why can't you be equals?

 

[TechBoyJK]

Originally posted by: Dumac

Originally posted by: actuarial

Originally posted by: TechBoyJK
LOL. I am not suggesting wife beating at all. I said, grab her arm, not pimp slap.

I'll tell ya this much, if you did this to one of my sisters I would do a lot more than grab your arm.

Also, you're a chauvinistic moron. If I did this to my fiance and she didn't kick me in the balls for it I would leave her for being a spineless pushover.

I seriously hope one day a woman does that to you when you go on some pissy rant to a stranger (and let's be honest, men embarrass women in this way FAR more than women embarrass men), and when you question it she tells you she couldn't look like she didn't have control of her husband.

Explain?

yea.. please explain... wtf internet tough guy? Did you read my OP? So what you are actually saying is that if your wife had a bad day, and started going nuts on someone, you wouldn't stand up and stop her? So, you'd be the spineless pushover?