Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

[So]

Originally posted by: elmer92413
You can't do anything in heaven. It exists outside of time rendering you incapable of action. You simply are and that is all.
The same is true in hell only you are apart from god and thus are tormented by this fact.

Wow, so heaven is like 99% as awful as hell.

 

[theprodigalrebel]

Knowing you, the only statement I can make with even a tiny bit of certainty: you probably won't like it.

 

[elmer92413]

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: elmer92413
You can't do anything in heaven. It exists outside of time rendering you incapable of action. You simply are and that is all.
The same is true in hell only you are apart from god and thus are tormented by this fact.

Wow, so heaven is like 99% as awful as hell.

I suppose so, although it wouldn't really be possible to make that comparison once you are there. So it could be 95% or even 1% hard to extrapolate.

 

[Dirigible]

Originally posted by: sonambulo

Originally posted by: Dirigible
Um dude. Did you miss this:

Thank you.

I know, right? It's like that guy just totally ignored your awesome post.

Originally posted by: zerocool84
If there's hookers and blow, I'm there.

If "hookers and blow" is your code for "women with weird floral-print high-necked full length dresses that make them look like creepy sofas and air hockey" then yes, heaven has hookers and blow.

 

[So]

Originally posted by: elmer92413

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: elmer92413
You can't do anything in heaven. It exists outside of time rendering you incapable of action. You simply are and that is all.
The same is true in hell only you are apart from god and thus are tormented by this fact.

Wow, so heaven is like 99% as awful as hell.

I suppose so, although it wouldn't really be possible to make that comparison once you are there. So it could be 95% or even 1% hard to extrapolate.

Wait, if that's the case, how could hell torment you. In fact, how is that any different from just rotting in the ground?

 

[dainthomas]

Originally posted by: WHAMPOM

Originally posted by: pontifex
So we all sort of know what happens when you go to hell. You're basically tortured for eternity, right?

The goal is to get to heaven so you don't have to deal with craziness, so what do you do in heaven? What is heaven like? You never seem to hear what heaven is supposed to be like.

Read Twain's story on the afterlife, it will set you straight.

edit "Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

This. All the cool people will be in hell (including hookers with associated blow). Booze, sex, strippers. And you will be able to indulge in them forever with no worry of repercussions because you're already DEAD and in HELL. What else could possibly happen?

Heaven will be all the annoying people who've come up to you your whole life asking if you know you're going to hell (might be funny to see the looks on their faces). I imagine it will be all Christian pop music and people talking about God nonstop 24/7 for ETERNITY. And also no sex or alcohol or anything since every hardcore Christian/Muslim etc. says God thinks they're evil, so I can't imagine He would allow them in Heaven.

 

[Fayd]

Originally posted by: pontifex
So we all sort of know what happens when you go to hell. You're basically tortured for eternity, right?

The goal is to get to heaven so you don't have to deal with craziness, so what do you do in heaven? What is heaven like? You never seem to hear what heaven is supposed to be like.

uh... heaven's had the same amount of description given for it, pretty much.





we need more ad infinitum siphons, btw.

 

[elmer92413]

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: elmer92413

Originally posted by: So

Originally posted by: elmer92413
You can't do anything in heaven. It exists outside of time rendering you incapable of action. You simply are and that is all.
The same is true in hell only you are apart from god and thus are tormented by this fact.

Wow, so heaven is like 99% as awful as hell.

I suppose so, although it wouldn't really be possible to make that comparison once you are there. So it could be 95% or even 1% hard to extrapolate.

Wait, if that's the case, how could hell torment you. In fact, how is that any different from just rotting in the ground?

It would be "instantaneous" and "continuous." Without time you are stuck with a torment that is singular, but with no movement of time you would "forever" experience it. The thing is that being without time doesn't negate existence. You simple are and you are in whatever state you enter the no-time-zone, which would be in knowledge of your separation from god or with god in the case of heaven.

Rotting in the ground, would be no existence or if you continue to exist it would be, I imagine, either similar to heaven, in that you have knowledge of god (this would be debatable on how or even if this happens but for now I'll assume it is for this) or hell as in a tormented ghost who can not exit time.

edit: missed the rotting in ground

 

[sandorski]

Runs the gamut of "Rules with "God" for Eternity to "Saying Praise the Lord for Eternity". The first is intriguing, the second is full of Loss.

 

[randay]

i'd imagine heaven is eternal and unending conflict and hate. just imagine all religious sects cluster fucked into some space where noone can die, everyone thinks they were right, and has some self-righteous urge to prove it to the others.

 

[zerocool84]

Originally posted by: randay
i'd imagine heaven is eternal and unending conflict and hate. just imagine all religious sects cluster fucked into some space where noone can die, everyone thinks they were right, and has some self-righteous urge to prove it to the others.

Good answer :thumbsup:

 

[seemingly random]

Originally posted by: randay
i'd imagine heaven is eternal and unending conflict and hate. just imagine all religious sects cluster fucked into some space where noone can die, everyone thinks they were right, and has some self-righteous urge to prove it to the others.

No. In the bible, after combining these three passages (I'll have to get back to you with the specific ones), it is clearly revealed that the different sects will inhabit different dimensions in heaven. Everybody will be there but will only be able to see and interact with their own kind. This doesn't eliminate the conflict fueled by power struggles, dogmatic differences, etc. but it does greatly reduce it.

 

[StinkyPinky]

Ask a religious person that, they get all confounded. How does heaven work anyway? Is it just like earth? If so, how do you fit a 100 billion people on it? What's the technology like? Do you have to work? If not, who maintains everything? Do you go to live with your family for all eternity? If so, what age are your family members?

 

[PlasmaBomb]

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
Ask a religious person that, they get all confounded.
1)How does heaven work anyway?
2) Is it just like earth?
3) If so, how do you fit a 100 billion people on it?
4) What's the technology like?
5) Do you have to work?
6) If not, who maintains everything?
7) Do you go to live with your family for all eternity?
8) If so, what age are your family members?

1) God works it
2) No
3) It's really big, see points 1 + 2
4) There isn't any
5) No
6) God
7) Do you want to?
8) What ever age they want to be

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: PlasmaBomb

Originally posted by: StinkyPinky
Ask a religious person that, they get all confounded.
1)How does heaven work anyway?
2) Is it just like earth?
3) If so, how do you fit a 100 billion people on it?
4) What's the technology like?
5) Do you have to work?
6) If not, who maintains everything?
7) Do you go to live with your family for all eternity?
8) If so, what age are your family members?

1) God works it
2) No
3) It's really big, see points 1 + 2
4) There isn't any
5) No
6) God
7) Do you want to?
8) What ever age they want to be

oh, well when you put it that way it makes perfect sense.

i was told as a kid that all sorts of things were paved with gold (wtf?) and blah blah, i dont remember anymore, it was a hell of a sales pitch to give a 5 year old, though.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

depends on what heaven you go to? I'm talking about the christian heaven though.


but seriously, 40 virgins is cool and all, but that can't be all you do, can it? there's gotta be more to it than that, right?

Actually, that's a misquote. It was supposed to be 40 Virginians. I think you're supposed to sit around with them on a porch and play cards or something.

 

[Denithor]

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

So kind of like AT then.

Actually, 72 virgins. But, as Achmed discovered, there's no guarantee they're female.

Jeff Dunham

 

[Quasmo]

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

do they die after you have sex with them? I mean after that they're not virgins anymore.

 

[SonnyDaze]

???

 

[iroast]

Exploring the universe(s) with others would be cool.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

depends on what heaven you go to? I'm talking about the christian heaven though.


but seriously, 40 virgins is cool and all, but that can't be all you do, can it? there's gotta be more to it than that, right?

Actually, that's a misquote. It was supposed to be 40 Virginians. I think you're supposed to sit around with them on a porch and play banjos or something.

fixed?

 

[Regs]

Originally posted by: Quasmo

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

do they die after you have sex with them? I mean after that they're not virgins anymore.

No, then you have to screw them in reverse.

 

[Quasmo]

Originally posted by: Regs

Originally posted by: Quasmo

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

do they die after you have sex with them? I mean after that they're not virgins anymore.

No, then you have to screw them in reverse.

Hey, just because you can't see their face still doesnt change the fact that they're no longer virgins.

 

[waggy]

Originally posted by: Denithor

Originally posted by: her209

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

So kind of like AT then.

Actually, 72 virgins. But, as Achmed discovered, there's no guarantee they're female.

Jeff Dunham

hahahah i love Jeff dunham. that was great.

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

who wants virgins? i had one..it was not much fun. i would prefer to have 40 sluts who know what they are doing.

 

[Crono]

Heaven is everything the universe was supposed to be. People think fluffy white clouds and harps, but heaven (meaning the paradise after this universe is destroyed in blazing fire and melting of the elements after the 1,000 year reign of Christ on earth) is actually the new heavens and earth. There will be peace and perfect unity between all people, there will be no killing or death of anything, and there will be time (infinite) to explore the universe and learn from and about God (who is endless).

Hell, by contrast, is existence (eternal) outside God's kingdom. The physical reality of it is utter darkness, and the spiritual reality is one contemplating sin for eternity. Hell is reserved for those who want no part of God's kingdom here on earth.