Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

[nublikescake]

Originally posted by: Vic
Supposedly, there's no entropy in heaven.

Care to elaborate?

 

[Regs]

Originally posted by: Quasmo

Originally posted by: Regs

Originally posted by: Quasmo

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

do they die after you have sex with them? I mean after that they're not virgins anymore.

No, then you have to screw them in reverse.

Hey, just because you can't see their face still doesnt change the fact that they're no longer virgins.

I know what ya meant

 

[soulcougher73]

That happens in Heaven, Stays in Heaven!

Rule #1 of Heaven...

 

[olds]

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

Why It's Important to Listen Carefully
Osama bin Laden went to heaven and was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?"
Patrick Henry then approached and punched Osama in the nose. James Madison entered and kicked him in the shin. An angry Thomas Jefferson whacked Osama over the head with a cane.
The thrashing continued as John Randolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
Suddenly, as Osama lay writhing in unbearable pain, an angel appeared.
"This is not what you promised me," said Osama.
"Come on, Osama," the angel replied. "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven."

 

[rh71]

i hope i'm not going to hell for saying religion is what's wrong with everything in the world.

 

[ViviTheMage]

Originally posted by: oldsmoboat

Originally posted by: Gothgar
40 virgins?

Why It's Important to Listen Carefully
Osama bin Laden went to heaven and was greeted by George Washington, who slapped him and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive?"
Patrick Henry then approached and punched Osama in the nose. James Madison entered and kicked him in the shin. An angry Thomas Jefferson whacked Osama over the head with a cane.
The thrashing continued as John Randolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the terrorist leader.
Suddenly, as Osama lay writhing in unbearable pain, an angel appeared.
"This is not what you promised me," said Osama.
"Come on, Osama," the angel replied. "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven."

ha

 

[meltdown75]

Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

i'm guessing you start asking stupid questions the first chance you get, just like that one.

 

[brandonbull]

Originally posted by: soulcougher73
That happens in Heaven, Stays in Heaven!

Rule #1 of Heaven...

I thought that #1 was Don't talk about Heaven.

 

[Cheeseplug]

Heaven sounds so boring. What good is eternal highs if you can't contrast it with lows. Christianity rejects life.

Bet you can get hella good OTA reception though.

 

[meltdown75]

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners then cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun..."

~ Billy Joel (Only The Good Die Young)

 

[hanoverphist]

Originally posted by: Dirigible

Originally posted by: rocadelpunk

Originally posted by: elmer92413
You can't do anything in heaven. It exists outside of time rendering you incapable of action. You simply are and that is all.
The same is true in hell only you are apart from god and thus are tormented by this fact.

lame. I'm apart from god now and am not tormented by this fact. no incentive.

Um dude. Did you miss this:

Originally posted by: sonambulo
I hear they have air hockey tables.

FREAKIN' AIR HOCKEY!!!

lol



my beard frikkin rocks, yo

 

[KeithP]

I envision heaven is a place where Megan Fox tastes like bacon. The other details aren't important.

-KeithP

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

i'm guessing you start asking stupid questions the first chance you get, just like that one.

will there be trolls like you to bash me at every question? wouldn't be the same without you.

 

[Nik]

Originally posted by: rocadelpunk

Originally posted by: elmer92413
You can't do anything in heaven. It exists outside of time rendering you incapable of action. You simply are and that is all.
The same is true in hell only you are apart from god and thus are tormented by this fact.

lame. I'm apart from god now and am not tormented by this fact. no incentive.

everybody knows this

Plus, who wants to spend eternity in heaven with a bunch of fucking retarded religious zealots?

 

[Blunc]

supposedly the streets are paved with gold...

what kind of gold?

gold pressed latinum?

will heaven have golden showers too?

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

i'm guessing you start asking stupid questions the first chance you get, just like that one.

will there be trolls like you to bash me at every question? wouldn't be the same without you.

yes, there will be smart people there.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

i'm guessing you start asking stupid questions the first chance you get, just like that one.

will there be trolls like you to bash me at every question? wouldn't be the same without you.

yes, there will be smart people there.

i didn't ask about smart people.i asked about you.

 

[meltdown75]

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

i'm guessing you start asking stupid questions the first chance you get, just like that one.

will there be trolls like you to bash me at every question? wouldn't be the same without you.

yes, there will be smart people there.

i didn't ask about smart people.i asked about you.

idiot trolls don't make it to heaven. i won't be there. there you go, enjoy.

 

[Skunkwourk]

the clouds are actually made of cocaine, and the angels...well you'll see when you get there

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Originally posted by: pontifex

Originally posted by: meltdown75

Say I make it to heaven. Now what?

i'm guessing you start asking stupid questions the first chance you get, just like that one.

will there be trolls like you to bash me at every question? wouldn't be the same without you.

yes, there will be smart people there.

i didn't ask about smart people.i asked about you.

idiot trolls don't make it to heaven. i won't be there. there you go, enjoy.

 

[clamum]

Strange that Bloodhound Gang's song "Hell Yeah" came on while reading this thread.

 

[Fern]

Originally posted by: dainthomas

Originally posted by: WHAMPOM

Originally posted by: pontifex
So we all sort of know what happens when you go to hell. You're basically tortured for eternity, right?

The goal is to get to heaven so you don't have to deal with craziness, so what do you do in heaven? What is heaven like? You never seem to hear what heaven is supposed to be like.

Read Twain's story on the afterlife, it will set you straight.

edit "Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

This. All the cool people will be in hell (including hookers with associated blow). Booze, sex, strippers. And you will be able to indulge in them forever with no worry of repercussions because you're already DEAD and in HELL. What else could possibly happen?

Heaven will be all the annoying people who've come up to you your whole life asking if you know you're going to hell (might be funny to see the looks on their faces). I imagine it will be all Christian pop music and people talking about God nonstop 24/7 for ETERNITY. And also no sex or alcohol or anything since every hardcore Christian/Muslim etc. says God thinks they're evil, so I can't imagine He would allow them in Heaven.

Personally, I think you've got it completely backwards.

I thought Jesus hung out with the first group, and didn't care much for the second group.

I imagine all the 'holier than thou' types will will get quite shock upon seeing where they end up.

Fern