im so sad and i dont know why.
i have no drive to do homework, go out with my friends, talk to people on the phone or even online.
starting yesterday morning all i have pretty much done is lay in bed, get up go on the computer for 10-15 minutes at a time then go back to bed.
i have a huge calculus test on weds i know i am in trouble for but everytime i sit down to do some work, i cant concentrate
i sit here, feeling guilty for not doing homework, feeling guilty because i am ignoring my friends, ignoring my family (during a holiday no less...), i want to do things but i just feel like i dont have the energy or motivation.
all week i was so pumped about oktoberfesting last night, but instead i opted for going to bed early. my friends called me today with crazy stories and how i should have went. but i dont care. i dont care that i missed out on all the funny and crazy things that happened, i dont care that people missed me, i dont care about anything about being sad.
...and i know im the biggest pusher of "unhappy? then quit whining about it and do something about what you're sad about" but i just cant seem to concentrate on anything for that long, i try to get dressed so i can go for a run cuz i know that will make me feel a bit better but i put my shorts on and then think about how i dont feel like going outside cuz its sunny and how i'll just get sweatty and how all the people driving by will make fun of me running down the street. i get out my calculus book and then i think about how i did really badly on the last assignment and i just start crying.
and then i get mad at myself for being this sad and sitting here wallowing in self pity... for gods sake, i am 21 years old, i am too old for this teen-angst garbage.
i have no drive to do homework, go out with my friends, talk to people on the phone or even online.
starting yesterday morning all i have pretty much done is lay in bed, get up go on the computer for 10-15 minutes at a time then go back to bed.
i have a huge calculus test on weds i know i am in trouble for but everytime i sit down to do some work, i cant concentrate
i sit here, feeling guilty for not doing homework, feeling guilty because i am ignoring my friends, ignoring my family (during a holiday no less...), i want to do things but i just feel like i dont have the energy or motivation.
all week i was so pumped about oktoberfesting last night, but instead i opted for going to bed early. my friends called me today with crazy stories and how i should have went. but i dont care. i dont care that i missed out on all the funny and crazy things that happened, i dont care that people missed me, i dont care about anything about being sad.
...and i know im the biggest pusher of "unhappy? then quit whining about it and do something about what you're sad about" but i just cant seem to concentrate on anything for that long, i try to get dressed so i can go for a run cuz i know that will make me feel a bit better but i put my shorts on and then think about how i dont feel like going outside cuz its sunny and how i'll just get sweatty and how all the people driving by will make fun of me running down the street. i get out my calculus book and then i think about how i did really badly on the last assignment and i just start crying.
and then i get mad at myself for being this sad and sitting here wallowing in self pity... for gods sake, i am 21 years old, i am too old for this teen-angst garbage.
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