Someone like Melania can get away with it, but things like that get quite a bit harder once you're being kept under guard in a Swiss mansion or bunker in the Urals.
Plus, and this is the big one, ask yourself - who is going to be dumb or reckless enough to go and fuck Putin's girl behind his back? It's hard to keep that kind of thing quiet when you're not
in an autocratic police state.
Putin routinely arranges assassinations, war crimes, torture, rape and execution for people he doesn't even know, they're just in the way. Imagine what he'd do to some poor sap who had the temerity to emasculate him by tasting that hyper flexible cake? Someone's going feet first through a plastic shredder.
Hey. You see the release about Thresher?