Oh, God, I think I know how this will go. Or, rather, how Trump thinks it will go...
In the beginning Trump became President.
And his presidency was unformed and void, and darkness was upon the face of the Trump.
And Trump said, "I have a bright idea!" And there was an idea. To fire Mueller.
And Trump thought about this idea, and knew that it was huge!
And there was evening and there was morning, one day.
And Trump made the parchment, dividing the Mueller from his investigation, and it was so drawn up. And there was evening and there was morning, a second day.
And Trump said, "Let the papers relating to the investigation be gathered together unto one place, and let the truth disappear." And it was so.
And Trump said, "Let us put forth grass, marijuana, as a target for the Justice Department, to distract the people." And it was so.
And there was evening and there was morning, a third day.
And Trump said, "Let there be lights upon the misdeeds of Hillary Clinton."
And Trump made two great lights, the lesser upon Benghazi, and the greater upon her emails.
And Trump set them in the Justice Department, to distract the people.
And there was evening and there was morning, a fourth day.
And Trump said, "Let it be known that Mueller is going on a fishing expedition, and that the stench of his failure is fowl."[sic]
And there was much debate about his covfefe words.
And there was evening and there was morning, a fifth day.
And on the sixth day Trump fired Mueller.
And on the seventh day Trump played golf.