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Roman Catholic Church

thescreensavers

thescreensavers

Diamond Member
So I am doing this dumb project and on wiki there's a ton of info but I am trying to find out about specifically about


How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?

also are there any restrictions to daily life?

but I cant find any info on this, and yes I have Googled it

Thanks for all the help
 

It thrived after the Roman Emperor Constantine embraced the religion made it the official religion of the Roman Empire.

After Rome had fallen, Charlemagne, King of the Franks, embraced the religion it caught on it Europe, with the help of the sword.

Charlemagne
 
Originally posted by: xochi

It thrived after the Roman Emperor Constantine embraced the religion made it the official religion of the Roman Empire.

After Rome had fallen, Charlemagne, King of the Franks, embraced the religion it caught on it Europe, with the help of the sword.

Charlemagne
Click to expand...

That's actually a pretty good summary.
 
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.
 
Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.
Click to expand...

Shens
 
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?
Click to expand...

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?
Click to expand...

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.

 
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?
Click to expand...

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?
Click to expand...

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.
Click to expand...

Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?
 
Originally posted by: KMFJD
Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?
Click to expand...

what are you, like the anti-arcadio, inserting H's where none are needed?
 
Originally posted by: xochi

It thrived after the Roman Emperor Constantine embraced the religion made it the official religion of the Roman Empire.

After Rome had fallen, Charlemagne, King of the Franks, embraced the religion it caught on it Europe, with the help of the sword.

Charlemagne
Click to expand...

Constantine did not declare it the official religion of the Roman Empire. He merely made it legal, and in some instances, encouraged worshiping alongside the old pagan order.

Theodosius III declared Christianity the official religion.

 
Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.
Click to expand...

lmao
 
Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.
Click to expand...

Are you sure it wasn't two guys in a phone booth?
Or maybe it was 1 guy in a police call box?

Just what denomination are you anyways?
Orthodoctory Who?
Or Non Orthodox Billandted?
 
i heard JC was going to create an AT account so he could finally settle all the debates and answer questions like this. could just be a rumor though.
 
Originally posted by: KMFJD
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?
Click to expand...

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?
Click to expand...

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.
Click to expand...

Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?
Click to expand...

wat
 
Originally posted by: BurnItDwn
Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.
Click to expand...

Are you sure it wasn't two guys in a phone booth?
Click to expand...

Bill and Ted?
 
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: KMFJD
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?
Click to expand...

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?
Click to expand...

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.
Click to expand...

Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?
Click to expand...

wat
Click to expand...

Let see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?

I believe we have that 100% correct!!
 
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?
Click to expand...

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?
Click to expand...

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.
Click to expand...

Dang, you managed to offend conservatives AND liberals equally in that post. That's fairly impressive.

Conservatives offended by casting the church's purpose as molestation.
Liberals offended by the statement that it's gay people that molest kids.

6/10, would be offended again.
 
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