Roman Catholic Church

thescreensavers

Diamond Member
Aug 3, 2005
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So I am doing this dumb project and on wiki there's a ton of info but I am trying to find out about specifically about


How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?

also are there any restrictions to daily life?

but I cant find any info on this, and yes I have Googled it

Thanks for all the help
 

child of wonder

Diamond Member
Aug 31, 2006
8,307
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The first rule of the Roman Catholic church is that you don't talk about the Roman Catholic church.
 

AreaCode7O7

Senior member
Mar 6, 2005
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As far as catch on and expand, other than orthodoxy there wasn't much in the way of alternatives until the Reformation, so try starting with that.

Restrictions? Other than normal Christian stuff like no sex before marriage? Try looking up the canon law.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canon_law
 

GagHalfrunt

Lifer
Apr 19, 2001
25,284
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xochi

Senior member
Jan 18, 2000
891
6
81

It thrived after the Roman Emperor Constantine embraced the religion made it the official religion of the Roman Empire.

After Rome had fallen, Charlemagne, King of the Franks, embraced the religion it caught on it Europe, with the help of the sword.

Charlemagne
 

xanis

Lifer
Sep 11, 2005
17,571
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0
Originally posted by: xochi

It thrived after the Roman Emperor Constantine embraced the religion made it the official religion of the Roman Empire.

After Rome had fallen, Charlemagne, King of the Franks, embraced the religion it caught on it Europe, with the help of the sword.

Charlemagne

That's actually a pretty good summary.
 

jonks

Lifer
Feb 7, 2005
13,918
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Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.
 

Throckmorton

Lifer
Aug 23, 2007
16,829
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Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.

Shens
 

TheInternet1980

Golden Member
Jan 9, 2006
1,651
1
76
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.

 

KMFJD

Lifer
Aug 11, 2005
30,084
45,440
136
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.

Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?
 

jonks

Lifer
Feb 7, 2005
13,918
20
81
Originally posted by: KMFJD
Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?

what are you, like the anti-arcadio, inserting H's where none are needed?
 

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,976
3
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Originally posted by: xochi

It thrived after the Roman Emperor Constantine embraced the religion made it the official religion of the Roman Empire.

After Rome had fallen, Charlemagne, King of the Franks, embraced the religion it caught on it Europe, with the help of the sword.

Charlemagne

Constantine did not declare it the official religion of the Roman Empire. He merely made it legal, and in some instances, encouraged worshiping alongside the old pagan order.

Theodosius III declared Christianity the official religion.

 

pontifex

Lifer
Dec 5, 2000
43,804
46
91
Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.

lmao
 

BurnItDwn

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
26,173
1,652
126
Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.

Are you sure it wasn't two guys in a phone booth?
Or maybe it was 1 guy in a police call box?

Just what denomination are you anyways?
Orthodoctory Who?
Or Non Orthodox Billandted?
 
Nov 7, 2000
16,403
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i heard JC was going to create an AT account so he could finally settle all the debates and answer questions like this. could just be a rumor though.
 

TheInternet1980

Golden Member
Jan 9, 2006
1,651
1
76
Originally posted by: KMFJD
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.

Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?

wat
 

FuzzyDunlop

Diamond Member
Jan 30, 2008
3,260
12
81
Originally posted by: BurnItDwn
Originally posted by: jonks
Mars, the god of war, raped sleeping Rhea Silvia, daughter of Numitor, and she bore 2 sons, Remus and Romulus. Then in as cliche a move as biblical stories get, they were ordered to be put to death, but the handservant ordered to kill them instead put them in a basket and set them out on the river (this is eerily familiar, no?) because two babies floating in a basket down a river had a very high survival rate before the advent of bears. They survived, naturally, and like Obama were suckled by a she-wolf and fed by a woodpecker. Eventually a man from the future in a telephone booth cum time machine took them on a tour of history and they later founded Rome. Which was of course all necessary for the Roman Catholic Church to be born.

There's your prologue, the rest, is up to you.

Are you sure it wasn't two guys in a phone booth?

Bill and Ted?
 

JEDIYoda

Lifer
Jul 13, 2005
33,986
3,320
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Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: KMFJD
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.

Ah i see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?

wat

Let see you where molested by a priest....sounds like you enjoyed it and where rejected as a member?

I believe we have that 100% correct!!
 

AreaCode7O7

Senior member
Mar 6, 2005
931
1
0
Originally posted by: TheInternet1980
Originally posted by: thescreensavers
How did roman catholic church catch on and expand?

Gay dudes back in the day got together and devised a way to molest as many young boys as possible. They couldn't make this their mission statement openly, so they adopted Jesus as their cause. This caused many closet gay Jesus believers to join their group, from all over the world.

Originally posted by: thescreensavers
also are there any restrictions to daily life?

They must live in a rectory, where altar boys visit them daily for "spiritual advice". Shortly after this policy was instituted, altar boys' gowns were changed to a dark color (black). This is to allow for the stretching of the anus that follows "spiritual advice" sessions, and the fecal repercussions of this daily ritual.

Dang, you managed to offend conservatives AND liberals equally in that post. That's fairly impressive.

Conservatives offended by casting the church's purpose as molestation.
Liberals offended by the statement that it's gay people that molest kids.

6/10, would be offended again.