StinkyPinky
Diamond Member
- Jul 6, 2002
- 6,973
- 1,276
- 126
The double standards in this thread is pretty sad. Apparently it's "rape" if it happens to a female, but "a bonus" if it happens to a guy. Some ppl need to stop thinking with their other head.
I also think it's pretty sad to hear some people go off and cry rape. They are married and he made a bad call. She told him it's a no-no and i presume he will respect that in the future. Do you think that he deserves 20 years in the jailhouse? Would you say the same if the gender was reversed? No wonder people are afraid to have sex these days.
I also think it's pretty sad to hear some people go off and cry rape. They are married and he made a bad call. She told him it's a no-no and i presume he will respect that in the future. Do you think that he deserves 20 years in the jailhouse? Would you say the same if the gender was reversed? No wonder people are afraid to have sex these days.
BoberFett
Lifer
- Oct 9, 1999
- 37,562
- 9
- 81
Isla
I'm a little late to this thread (been at a motorcycle rally for the past week, woohoo!) but I'll throw my 2 cents in.
Maybe you could suggest to the mister that if he wants to get a little action at night, he should start by going down.
For whatever reason, the general view in society of sex is different for men and women. For men, sex is something they do to a woman. For women, sex is something that is done to them by men. Men do, women get done. It's a semantic difference, but it does change things. In my estimate, it's why a woman having sex with a sleeping man is often viewed as good, but a man having sex with a sleeping woman is bad. Do vs. Get done.
Oral sex is different. Oral sex is generally viewed as something that is done for the pleasure of the partner, regardless of which partner is doing the giving. Perhaps if you woke up and he was doing that, you wouldn't be quite as shocked or annoyed. Then once you were awake and enjoying it, maybe you'd be a bit more receptive to the full monty.
I'm a little late to this thread (been at a motorcycle rally for the past week, woohoo!) but I'll throw my 2 cents in.
Maybe you could suggest to the mister that if he wants to get a little action at night, he should start by going down.
For whatever reason, the general view in society of sex is different for men and women. For men, sex is something they do to a woman. For women, sex is something that is done to them by men. Men do, women get done. It's a semantic difference, but it does change things. In my estimate, it's why a woman having sex with a sleeping man is often viewed as good, but a man having sex with a sleeping woman is bad. Do vs. Get done.
Oral sex is different. Oral sex is generally viewed as something that is done for the pleasure of the partner, regardless of which partner is doing the giving. Perhaps if you woke up and he was doing that, you wouldn't be quite as shocked or annoyed. Then once you were awake and enjoying it, maybe you'd be a bit more receptive to the full monty.
Originally posted by: JEDI
Originally posted by: Blain
"My girlfriend wants me to get off the computer and come lay down with her."
I think I know what she'll whisper in your ear when you lay down with her... "Get out there and trim those bushes"
that could be taken many ways...
He needs to trim his nose hair?
Hiya Bober Sounds like you had a fun week!
And you are right. If he had been doing something for my pleasure (and not painful), I wouldn't have been so mad. I'd still be mad (I didn't feel well and had to get up very early in the morning) but not as shocked or hurt. He was not in his right mind at the time (under a great deal of stress) and has apologized.
Good news is, this has forced us to discuss things that we need to discuss. And NO, we are NOT on a 'schedule' for sex! People act like it's every Tuesday and Saturday night at 10:15 or nothing. It's not that way at all. It's an AVERAGE of twice a week, and it happens SPONTANEOUSLY! On the other days of the week, we are doing things like helping the kids with homework, dealing with relatives, home repairs, work related issues, etc etc and by the time we can get to bed, we are BOTH tired.
Duh.
Sounds like you had a fun week!And you are right. If he had been doing something for my pleasure (and not painful), I wouldn't have been so mad. I'd still be mad (I didn't feel well and had to get up very early in the morning) but not as shocked or hurt. He was not in his right mind at the time (under a great deal of stress) and has apologized.
Good news is, this has forced us to discuss things that we need to discuss. And NO, we are NOT on a 'schedule' for sex! People act like it's every Tuesday and Saturday night at 10:15 or nothing.
It's not that way at all. It's an AVERAGE of twice a week, and it happens SPONTANEOUSLY! On the other days of the week, we are doing things like helping the kids with homework, dealing with relatives, home repairs, work related issues, etc etc and by the time we can get to bed, we are BOTH tired.Duh.
Bober, you have a nice idea but I have to warn you about spontaneous gas emissions during periods of relaxed unconsciousness. It's very easy to get fumigated especially as you raise up a leg. Just so you'll be prepared not to blurt out any loud curses or anything and blow the covers, as it were.
0roo0roo
No Lifer
- Sep 21, 2002
- 64,795
- 84
- 91
uh wth is this like personal experience or just your twisted imagination that came up with this scenario
Shuxclams
Diamond Member
- Oct 10, 1999
- 9,286
- 15
- 81
I don't care what the relationship is... clearly the Woman Said "no" before she went to bed. I would suggest that each seek counsuling, one for whatever issues would have a man "pork" his slepping wife and the wife for abuse and if it were me I would get at the very minimum a separation until whatever issues were resolved. That is completly disrespectful and obviously you cant have a decent and trustworthy relationship with someone that disrespectful.
SHUX
SHUX
Originally posted by: Aquaman
It's just wrong to pork you wife while she is sleeping. But if I was married and I was awoken by my wife porking me........... I won't mind
Cheer,
Aquaman
Thats such a double standard, this whole situation is messed up to begin with. THe woman apparently does not find her husband sexually attractive and they have to do something about it. She peforms her "duties" just like chores but no more than she finds neccessary to satisfy some sort of quota. This is one situation I hope i will never find myself in. I think depending on the situation its perfectly ok and in fact a big turn on to wake up your partner with some looooovin'
Kadarin
Lifer
- Nov 23, 2001
- 44,296
- 16
- 81
I haven't read the rest of the thread past this point, but I felt this was worthy of comment.
It appears that perhaps some sort of compromise could be applied to this dilemma: Husband makes effort to make sex (at least at times) more "meaningful" to wife, to treat her as a wife rather than as a stress-relief tool. In response, wife enjoys sex more and strives to enjoy it more often. It's a win-win situation if husband and wife are really *in* to each other, but difficult to achieve otherwise.
Good call. And the wife responds naturally to being treated better, so it's really a very simple and effective solution.
And as for those who think it's ok... chances are very good that unless you change your way of thinking, there will be a divorce or two in your future.
Just as you don't want to be seen as a money tree for a woman, a woman does not want to be seen as a masturbatory tool for a man.
That is all, thank you.
What do you do when your wife has lost her in sex (I mean zero interest) and won't discuss it and divorce isn't an option because you have small kids.
Throw in the fact that the husband thinks adultery is wrong.
Throw in the fact that the husband thinks adultery is wrong.
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