Right Or Wrong? (Sexual Ethics)

[vi edit]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
No = No.....married or not.

amish

Aye. My thoughts exactly.

For those saying that a man being woken up to a woman giving them a blow job not being a bad thing - answer me this -

Would you have the same feeling if a woman was shoving a dildo up your ass?

I doubt it.

Two very different things. A woman is penetrated, and that's a very violating thing if you aren't prepared for it...both physically and emotionaly.

If you woke up to your wife shoving a cucumber up your ass without any lube you'll be whistling a different tune.

 

[tnitsuj]

Please refer to this thread. Similar situation..but genders reversed. Drew quit a lot of responses.

link

 

[vi edit]

P.S.

If he can't "take matters into his own hands" for a day or two out of the week, that's HIS problem, not her's.

 

[PatboyX]

Originally posted by: Eli

Originally posted by: XZeroII
What kind of sick person need sex more than twice a week? If you need it that much, you need help.

:Q

I beg to differ. We're twice a day people.

As for the original question... it's definately weird, at the least. I'd say it's a no-no.

how old are you?
when i was younger, id be ready to bang 50 gazillion times in a day.
now: only about 30

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: Isla
So.

Let's say a husband and wife agree to sex once or twice a week. This isn't really enough for the husband but it is more than enough for the wife. The wife complies as graciously and pleasantly as possible, but again, once or twice a week.

It's been 48 hours. Wife is VERY tired. Wife just wants to go to sleep, and very kindly says, "No sweetheart, I'm sorry, but I need to sleep".


2AM. Wife wakes up to being porked in her sleep.

Right? Why?

Wrong? Why?

Please vote in the poll and let me know what you think about situations such as this.

Nonconsentual, forced sex = rape.

There is no stipulation in the contract of marriage that grants a man an all-access, anytime pass to his wife's vagina.

If this was a unique occurrance, I would suggest the wife explain her feelings to the husband (i.e. upset, disrespected, hurt, shocked, angry) and hope he is able to understand and respect her position.

If it occurs on a continuous basis (after explaining feelings/situation to husband), I would file for a divorce if I were the wife.

Cliff notes: Wrong.

 

"2AM. Wife wakes up to being porked in her sleep."

That sounds absolutely like rape!!!!!!!!!! :| :| :| :| I could even be persuaded that it isn't rape in other circumstances between married couples, but this one definitely constitutes rape. Why? Well, the lady is asleep and has not permitted. She isn't aware of her environment to consciously modify her circumstance there, take measures she would normally consider.

I call it what it is: rape. Of course there are some people who permit that, but they explicitly say it's okay. However, for those that say "no" before they go to bed, it's rape. But I guess as long as people don't call it what it looks like, sounds like and smells like, then we'll have some idiots carrying one like that. And honestly, a guy who does this kind of stuff is likely controlling or abusive . . . doesn't take a no for a no. Most likely he also thinks that he's God's gift to women or that he owns his significant other. :|

Believe it or not, for me this would be more than a moral question. It's also and quite importantly a legal question!

 

[Lifer]

i'm pretty sure we're all very aware that wife=you, husband=your husband, so you can cut the secret identity act to make it easier for yourself.

 

[Lifer:] "i'm pretty sure we're all very aware that wife=you, husband=your husband, so you can cut the hidden identity act to make it easier on yourself."

Yeah, Lifer, I agree! I had that in my mind too, but I didn't bother mentioning it so it doesn't get personal in case she didn't want that. But I'm about 99.9999999999999999999. . . . % sure that it's her hubby. He's so fitting of that profile. Considering past records she's mentioned and somethings she's shared, I'm almost absolute about it. If that were I, I'm afraid he would have charges pressed against him . . . that's if laws aren't so backward still in this respect. However, I can understand too since there are kids and other factors in here. Some women are willing to take abuse and suffering from some idiots.

Oh, sorry if it isn't your hubby Isla, but I wouldn't be surprised. . . .

 

[nakedfrog]

Originally posted by: luvly
"2AM. Wife wakes up to being porked in her sleep."

That sounds absolutely like rape!!!!!!!!!! :| :| :| :| I could even be persuaded that it isn't rape in other circumstances between married couples, but this one definitely constitutes rape. Why? Well, the lady is asleep and has not permitted. She isn't aware of her environment to consciously modify her circumstance there, take measures she would normally consider.

I call it what it is: rape. Of course there are some people who permit that, but they explicitly say it's okay. However, for those that say "no" before they go to bed, it's rape. But I guess as long as people don't call it what it looks like, sounds like and smells like, then we'll have some idiots carrying one like that. And honestly, a guy who does this kind of stuff is likely controlling or abusive . . . doesn't take a no for a no. <b>Most likely he also thinks that he's God's gift to women or that he owns his significant other</b>. :|

Believe it or not, for me this would be more than a moral question. It's also and quite importantly a legal question!

I'm quite certain you don't have anything to base that on.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Lifer
i'm pretty sure we're all very aware that wife=you, husband=your husband, so you can cut the secret identity act to make it easier for yourself.

You know, maybe it's easier for her to talk about it in the third person, or maybe it's easier for her to have everyone else referring to "the wife" and "the husband" instead of "you and your husband". Or maybe the thread just started out like that to make it lighthearted and kept going along those lines. Or maybe it's none of your business. *shrug* Take your pick.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: luvly
[Lifer:] "i'm pretty sure we're all very aware that wife=you, husband=your husband, so you can cut the hidden identity act to make it easier on yourself."

Yeah, Lifer, I agree! I had that in my mind too, but I didn't bother mentioning it so it doesn't get personal in case she didn't want that. But I'm about 99.9999999999999999999. . . . % sure that it's her hubby. He's so fitting of that profile. Considering past records she's mentioned and somethings she's shared, I'm almost absolute about it. If that were I, I'm afraid he would have charges pressed against him . . . that's if laws aren't so backward still in this respect. However, I can understand too since there are kids and other factors in here. Some women are willing to take abuse and suffering from some idiots.

Oh, sorry if it isn't your hubby Isla, but I wouldn't be surprised. . . .

Well, of course it is. What I wanted was feedback based on what happened in general, and I got it.

Anyway, my course of action is to A) not start a big ole fight about it and B) bring it up in a safe place, with a person who can actually help.

But many of you have already helped me here by being caring and honest about what you think about this matter.

I've been a little shaky today and needed to get a sanity check (I think what he did was wrong but sometimes I doubt myself) and a little perspective.

Now that I have that, I can keep moving forward... in the best way possible... and wherever that may lead me.

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Lifer
i'm pretty sure we're all very aware that wife=you, husband=your husband, so you can cut the secret identity act to make it easier for yourself.

You know, maybe it's easier for her to talk about it in the third person, or maybe it's easier for her to have everyone else referring to "the wife" and "the husband" instead of "you and your husband". Or maybe the thread just started out like that to make it lighthearted and kept going along those lines. Or maybe it's none of your business. *shrug* Take your pick.

HotChic is a wise one.

 

[Viper GTS]

Check #10
HTML Link instead of PDF

I was pretty sure I remembered something like this, Google found it for me easily.

Viper GTS

 

[BruinEd03]

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: luvly
"2AM. Wife wakes up to being porked in her sleep."

That sounds absolutely like rape!!!!!!!!!! :| :| :| :| I could even be persuaded that it isn't rape in other circumstances between married couples, but this one definitely constitutes rape. Why? Well, the lady is asleep and has not permitted. She isn't aware of her environment to consciously modify her circumstance there, take measures she would normally consider.

I call it what it is: rape. Of course there are some people who permit that, but they explicitly say it's okay. However, for those that say "no" before they go to bed, it's rape. But I guess as long as people don't call it what it looks like, sounds like and smells like, then we'll have some idiots carrying one like that. And honestly, a guy who does this kind of stuff is likely controlling or abusive . . . doesn't take a no for a no. <b>Most likely he also thinks that he's God's gift to women or that he owns his significant other</b>. :|

Believe it or not, for me this would be more than a moral question. It's also and quite importantly a legal question!

I'm quite certain you don't have anything to base that on.

Actually...one of the times she does have a basis: U.S.C. Title 18 - Crimes and Criminal Procedure Part I - Crimes Chapter 109A - Sexual Abuse

Definition of sexual abuse:

Whoever, in the special maritime and territorial jurisdiction of
the United States or in a Federal prison, knowingly -
(1) causes another person to engage in a sexual act by
threatening or placing that other person in fear (other than by
threatening or placing that other person in fear that any person
will be subjected to death, serious bodily injury, or
kidnapping); or
(2) engages in a sexual act with another person if that other
person is -
(A) incapable of appraising the nature of the conduct; or
(B) physically incapable of declining participation in, or
communicating unwillingness to engage in, that sexual act;
or attempts to do so, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned
not more than 20 years, or both.


-Ed

 

[TourGuide]

If someone out there knows HOW the husband would actually be able to slip it to her BEFORE she woke up, please share with the rest of us huh?!

 

[Viper GTS]

Originally posted by: BruinEd03

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: luvly
"2AM. Wife wakes up to being porked in her sleep."

That sounds absolutely like rape!!!!!!!!!! :| :| :| :| I could even be persuaded that it isn't rape in other circumstances between married couples, but this one definitely constitutes rape. Why? Well, the lady is asleep and has not permitted. She isn't aware of her environment to consciously modify her circumstance there, take measures she would normally consider.

I call it what it is: rape. Of course there are some people who permit that, but they explicitly say it's okay. However, for those that say "no" before they go to bed, it's rape. But I guess as long as people don't call it what it looks like, sounds like and smells like, then we'll have some idiots carrying one like that. And honestly, a guy who does this kind of stuff is likely controlling or abusive . . . doesn't take a no for a no. <b>Most likely he also thinks that he's God's gift to women or that he owns his significant other</b>. :|

Believe it or not, for me this would be more than a moral question. It's also and quite importantly a legal question!

I'm quite certain you don't have anything to base that on.

Actually...one of the times she does have a basis: U.S.C. Title 18 - Crimes and Criminal Procedure Part I - Crimes Chapter 109A - Sexual Abuse

Definition of sexual abuse:

Whoever, in the special maritime and territorial jurisdiction of
the United States or in a Federal prison, knowingly -
(1) causes another person to engage in a sexual act by
threatening or placing that other person in fear (other than by
threatening or placing that other person in fear that any person
will be subjected to death, serious bodily injury, or
kidnapping); or
(2) engages in a sexual act with another person if that other
person is -
(A) incapable of appraising the nature of the conduct; or
(B) physically incapable of declining participation in, or
communicating unwillingness to engage in, that sexual act;
or attempts to do so, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned
not more than 20 years, or both.


-Ed

We are talking about a married couple here, some consent is implied. It's definitely a problem, but I wouldn't say sex abuse charges are in order.

Viper GTS

 

[BruinEd03]

Originally posted by: Viper GTS

Originally posted by: BruinEd03

Originally posted by: nakedfrog

Originally posted by: luvly
"2AM. Wife wakes up to being porked in her sleep."

That sounds absolutely like rape!!!!!!!!!! :| :| :| :| I could even be persuaded that it isn't rape in other circumstances between married couples, but this one definitely constitutes rape. Why? Well, the lady is asleep and has not permitted. She isn't aware of her environment to consciously modify her circumstance there, take measures she would normally consider.

I call it what it is: rape. Of course there are some people who permit that, but they explicitly say it's okay. However, for those that say "no" before they go to bed, it's rape. But I guess as long as people don't call it what it looks like, sounds like and smells like, then we'll have some idiots carrying one like that. And honestly, a guy who does this kind of stuff is likely controlling or abusive . . . doesn't take a no for a no. <b>Most likely he also thinks that he's God's gift to women or that he owns his significant other</b>. :|

Believe it or not, for me this would be more than a moral question. It's also and quite importantly a legal question!

I'm quite certain you don't have anything to base that on.

Actually...one of the times she does have a basis: U.S.C. Title 18 - Crimes and Criminal Procedure Part I - Crimes Chapter 109A - Sexual Abuse

Definition of sexual abuse:

Whoever, in the special maritime and territorial jurisdiction of
the United States or in a Federal prison, knowingly -
(1) causes another person to engage in a sexual act by
threatening or placing that other person in fear (other than by
threatening or placing that other person in fear that any person
will be subjected to death, serious bodily injury, or
kidnapping); or
(2) engages in a sexual act with another person if that other
person is -
(A) incapable of appraising the nature of the conduct; or
(B) physically incapable of declining participation in, or
communicating unwillingness to engage in, that sexual act;
or attempts to do so, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned
not more than 20 years, or both.


-Ed

We are talking about a married couple here, some consent is implied. It's definitely a problem, but I wouldn't say sex abuse charges are in order.

Viper GTS

The law states nothing on marriage. Marriage is not an excuse for sexual abuse. Check the bolded section.

-Ed

 

"If someone out there knows HOW the husband would actually be able to slip it to her BEFORE she woke up, please share with the rest of us huh?!"

Huh? How's that complicated? Let's stipulate your scenario that she wakes up before he's able to "pork". Well, hello? I don't see how the problem is solved. Is a woman (even anyone) always fully alert when she wakes up? Some people can be fully alert (if they weren't deeply asleep) and consciously agree or object to it. However, many times when one wakes up unexpectedly, one is too dazed and confused to make a conscious decision at that moment. It's parallel to a totally drunk person. Besides, intent is what laws often search for. A guy who didn't succeed because she woke up and fought him off (whether verbally or physically) before he succeeded doesn't become free of guilt. He's still guilty, except this time of attempted rape. You know violations don't always happen explicitly. They could be implicit and come through tricks.

 

[BruinEd03]

Originally posted by: luvly
"If someone out there knows HOW the husband would actually be able to slip it to her BEFORE she woke up, please share with the rest of us huh?!"

Huh? How's that complicated? Let's stipulate your scenario that she wakes up before he's able to "pork". Well, hello? I don't see how the problem is solved. Is a woman (even anyone) always fully alert when she wakes up? Some people can be fully alert (if they weren't deeply asleep) and consciously agree or object to it. However, many times when one wakes up unexpectedly, one is too dazed and confused to make a conscious decision at that moment. It's parallel to a totally drunk person. Besides, intent is what laws often search for. A guy who didn't succeed because she woke up and fought him off (whether verbally or physically) before he succeeded doesn't become free of guilt. He's still guilty, except this time of attempted rape. You know violations don't always happen explicitly. They could be implicit and come through tricks.

definition of sexual act via definitions for the chapter:

(2) the term ''sexual act'' means -
(A) contact between the penis and the vulva or the penis and
the anus, and for purposes of this subparagraph contact
involving the penis occurs upon penetration, however slight;
(B) contact between the mouth and the penis, the mouth and
the vulva, or the mouth and the anus;
(C) the penetration, however slight, of the anal or genital
opening of another by a hand or finger or by any object, with
an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, degrade, or arouse or
gratify the sexual desire of any person; or
(D) the intentional touching, not through the clothing, of
the genitalia of another person who has not attained the age of
16 years with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, degrade,
or arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person;

As long as there was penetration...however slight...it's a sexual act.

-Ed

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
No = No.....married or not.

amish

Aye. My thoughts exactly.

For those saying that a man being woken up to a woman giving them a blow job not being a bad thing - answer me this -

Would you have the same feeling if a woman was shoving a dildo up your ass?

I doubt it.

Two very different things. A woman is penetrated, and that's a very violating thing if you aren't prepared for it...both physically and emotionaly.

If you woke up to your wife shoving a cucumber up your ass without any lube you'll be whistling a different tune.

apples to oranges. if you ussually like a dildo up your ass as much as a blowjob then yes its the same.

a more valid comparison is if the husband shoved a banana or something in his wife, something they never do and she doesn't like etc.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
No = No.....married or not.

amish

 

[brunswickite]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo

Originally posted by: vi_edit

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
No = No.....married or not.

amish

Aye. My thoughts exactly.

For those saying that a man being woken up to a woman giving them a blow job not being a bad thing - answer me this -

Would you have the same feeling if a woman was shoving a dildo up your ass?

I doubt it.

Two very different things. A woman is penetrated, and that's a very violating thing if you aren't prepared for it...both physically and emotionaly.

If you woke up to your wife shoving a cucumber up your ass without any lube you'll be whistling a different tune.

apples to oranges. if you ussually like a dildo up your ass as much as a blowjob then yes its the same.

a more valid comparison is if the husband shoved a banana or something in his wife, something they never do and she doesn't like etc.

good point

 

[zixxer]

I kind of stopped reading after 10 or 12 posts...

1) twice a week is way to little.. granted I'm 18; but my GF and I do it at LEAST twice a day, if not more.
2) In our relationship, it would be okay for me to not go all the way (out of respect) but to maybe rub my penis against her vagina.. just to rouse things up a bit.. but actually having sex? no.


3) she said she was tired.. so he let her sleep till 2 (that's my gf's response..)

 

[Isla]

Originally posted by: se7enty7
I kind of stopped reading after 10 or 12 posts...

1) twice a week is way to little.. granted I'm 18; but my GF and I do it at LEAST twice a day, if not more.
2) In our relationship, it would be okay for me to not go all the way (out of respect) but to maybe rub my penis against her vagina.. just to rouse things up a bit.. but actually having sex? no.


3) she said she was tired.. so he let her sleep till 2 (that's my gf's response..)

Imagine your mother and father having sex twice a day and then you've got a better picture of my situation.

<---has a 16 year old

 

[sandorski]

Originally posted by: SammyBoy
It's only "right" if the husband porks hard enough to make her head nod.

ROFL! "but baby! You consented!!!"