This is the first really intelligent thing I read here. I think the line of consent is definately blurry from a legal perspective, but from a moral perspective it's not. Morally, it would be fine if you truly believed that the person would enjoy it. O.W., it is wrong.
Siddhartha
Lifer
- Oct 17, 1999
- 12,505
- 3
- 81
Low sex or no sex marriages have been in the news lately.
I wonder how long before the husband starts seeking relief from other sources?
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Originally posted by: Encryptic
That's a great attitude to have. In any case, poking my wife while she was asleep would result in an immediate Bobbitting. I wouldn't want to do it anyway, because I would rather my wife was awake and actively enjoying the proceedings. She passed out once while we were making love (we were both pretty intoxicated at the time) and I couldn't bring myself to keep going after that...
No, it's not the best attitude to have, but from what I've heard/seen recently it's a realistic attitude. If something is scheduled to "once or twice" it could easily end up being just the once, and if he's obviously not satisfied with it, while the Wife is, it really isn't going to change. Being told it's "ok to masturbate" is a bit strange too, like he would need permission for that. Basically she's getting what she wants, he isn't.
<rant>
OK, I'll concede that it's a realistic attitude. BUT, I personally think it's pretty fvcking low to cheat on your spouse/significant other/etc. I don't care how much sex you're not getting, or how crappy your relationship is, you're still involved with someone. Masturbate until your dick turns purple if you must, or end the relationship if you can't handle the fact that you're not getting any/enough to satisfy you.
I've never cheated or been cheated on, but my asshole ex-brother(long story) cheated on his (now ex) girlfriend to beat the band, not to mention using her for everything else and it disgusted the hell out of me. When my wife and I were still talking to him, my wife told me that my brother told her something to the effect of "If I don't score at the club, I can just go home and fvck (insert his GF's name here)."
I love my wife dearly and would never ever cheat on her, no matter how much sex I do or don't get.
</rant>
JEDI
Lifer
- Sep 25, 2001
- 29,391
- 2,738
- 126
reminds me of the movie "Rosemary's baby" when she's being done while she's unconscious.
As for your situation, it all depends on how you feel. Just like some people think it's wrong to date someone 1/2 your age, while others think anyone over 18 is fair game.
Back to your situation, if you don't mind/feel indifferent about it then no problem. if you think your trusts been betrayed, then call the police and charge him w/rape.
On a side note, a wife can file charges on her husband for rape, right? (I know she can if they're legally separated but not divorced yet, thus still technically husband and wife.) but how about if they are really truely husband and wife?
I don't imagine a woman would get very wet in her sleep. Probably pretty uncomfortable. I think thats the distinction.
I guess intent is the real deciding factor - Are you doing it for them, you, or both of you?
In this case it would seem pretty clear he was doing it for himself, with total disregard to what she wanted.
THAT'S where the problem is.
Viper GTS
Originally posted by: Encryptic
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Originally posted by: Encryptic
That's a great attitude to have. In any case, poking my wife while she was asleep would result in an immediate Bobbitting. I wouldn't want to do it anyway, because I would rather my wife was awake and actively enjoying the proceedings. She passed out once while we were making love (we were both pretty intoxicated at the time) and I couldn't bring myself to keep going after that...
No, it's not the best attitude to have, but from what I've heard/seen recently it's a realistic attitude. If something is scheduled to "once or twice" it could easily end up being just the once, and if he's obviously not satisfied with it, while the Wife is, it really isn't going to change. Being told it's "ok to masturbate" is a bit strange too, like he would need permission for that. Basically she's getting what she wants, he isn't.
<rant>
OK, I'll concede that it's a realistic attitude. BUT, I personally think it's pretty fvcking low to cheat on your spouse/significant other/etc. I don't care how much sex you're not getting, or how crappy your relationship is, you're still involved with someone. Masturbate until your dick turns purple if you must, or end the relationship if you can't handle the fact that you're not getting any/enough to satisfy you.
I've never cheated or been cheated on, but my asshole ex-brother(long story) cheated on his (now ex) girlfriend to beat the band, not to mention using her for everything else and it disgusted the hell out of me. When my wife and I were still talking to him, my wife told me that my brother told her something to the effect of "If I don't score at the club, I can just go home and fvck (insert his GF's name here)."
I love my wife dearly and would never ever cheat on her, no matter how much sex I do or don't get.
</rant>
Well, I'm glad you have morals you're willing to stick to. A lot of people want the physical part of a relationship just as much as the emotional part. Once again I'm not condoing anything, just saying I understand why people do things like that. I haven't been put into that situation, so I don't know what I'd *actually* do. I know what I would hope I'd do... but that doesn't mean anything till I'm faced with it. Which hopefully I won't.
umm.. wrong, if she doesn't want to, then he should do it while she's SLEEPING. but yes, having this kind of arrangement seems like it would not go well.. but again, this just varies and depends on the people.
however, i'd have to say if i were to wake up to my gf.. i wouldn't mind
... unless i had to be up early in the morning for some reason.
however, i'd have to say if i were to wake up to my gf.. i wouldn't mind
... unless i had to be up early in the morning for some reason.Yeah, I agree, but I wonder how the law views this. Could a person's spouse be prosecuted for molesting them in their sleep?
It's all about respect. Respecting me as a person who is tired and asleep, and about respecting my body which is not something for any woman to use.
I would hope so, if it were a genuine assault.
Bottom line is, any man (or woman) who loves their partner & has their best interests above his own will NEVER have to worry about such a thing. If there's any doubt about her consent, he wouldn't do it.
Viper GTS
I just can't imagine a guy being upset about THAT. God knows, I've been woken up at 3 AM by my wife a couple of times and it was a joyous occasion.
hzl eyed grl
Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
- Dec 28, 1999
- 13,107
- 67
- 91
When I've been waken up, and my guy wants some...he always asks if I feel like it. (Past guys and present.) I don't know how I'd feel if I was asleep and woke up to find him having sex with me. Groped is one thing, but full on sex.......I don't know. I think if the wife is uncomfortable, she needs to talk to her husband and let him know that it isn't okay. That she would like to be an active participant in the activity.
I hope that your man is not an AT member, because this thread could lead & can be ammo in an argument of what one think is right & wrong.
i just love questions on ethics like this!
IMHO, it's definitely wrong to pork someone before waking them up unless they've given you prior permission.
IMHO, it's definitely wrong to pork someone before waking them up unless they've given you prior permission.
I had 2 ex gfs that want it every night (sometime 2-3 times a day) for months. At first I thought I have died & gone to heaven because I have found a beautiful woman with a healthy sexual appetite, but it become a job & lack of sleep make me grumpy.Originally posted by: ausm
Hell when my Ex and I were newlyweds we did it 3 times a day for months!!
Ausm
Nonconsensual == wrong
Then again if they're scheduling it and bartering for the number of times a week I think there are problems to begin with.
Then again if they're scheduling it and bartering for the number of times a week I think there are problems to begin with.
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