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Right Or Wrong? (Sexual Ethics)
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Angrymarshmello
Lifer
That's pretty damn wrong
Originally posted by: Encryptic
That's a great attitude to have. In any case, poking my wife while she was asleep would result in an immediate Bobbitting. I wouldn't want to do it anyway, because I would rather my wife was awake and actively enjoying the proceedings. She passed out once while we were making love (we were both pretty intoxicated at the time) and I couldn't bring myself to keep going after that...
Wife wasn't mad... just kind of scared and disturbed. 😛
I'm pretty sure she recently did. She was with a husband she found controlling and overbearing, and finally got out of it recently. Either that, or I'm confusing her with someone else.
Still though, kids and a mortgage have nothing to do with it. People get tired from working to pay the rent jsut as much as they do from working to pay the mortgage. Kids wear out thier teachers (who don't have kids) jsut as much as they weear out thier parents. It doesn't mean everyone who has to pay for housing has a sex schedule and views it as a chore,even if that's Isla's stance.
Originally posted by: waylman
Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: Spooner
yeah, like it's a chore
I take it you do not have children, a mortgage, etc etc.
what does a mortgage have to do with sex? If you think of sex with your husband as a chore, get a divorce.
Not a chore... something some people don't have the energy for more than once or twice a week. Unless they are just lying there. 😛
Couple of thoughts here...
While I don't think it's cool to force yourself on someone...
If a guy wakes up to his gf/wife/whatever busy giving him a blowjob, nobody would care. They'd probably post what an awesome girl they have.
It shouldn't be TOO much different if the sexes are reversed.
So, the fine line becomes consent. But how much consent is necessary between husband and wife? If you're married to them, sleeping with them, etc. wouldn't there be some ASSUMED consent? Since she did say no, though, I would say it's a problem. I would hardly consider it to be rape (or any other crime), but it would point towards more serious relationship problems.
Viper GTS
While I don't think it's cool to force yourself on someone...
If a guy wakes up to his gf/wife/whatever busy giving him a blowjob, nobody would care. They'd probably post what an awesome girl they have.
It shouldn't be TOO much different if the sexes are reversed.
So, the fine line becomes consent. But how much consent is necessary between husband and wife? If you're married to them, sleeping with them, etc. wouldn't there be some ASSUMED consent? Since she did say no, though, I would say it's a problem. I would hardly consider it to be rape (or any other crime), but it would point towards more serious relationship problems.
Viper GTS
Originally posted by: Encryptic
That's a great attitude to have. In any case, poking my wife while she was asleep would result in an immediate Bobbitting. I wouldn't want to do it anyway, because I would rather my wife was awake and actively enjoying the proceedings. She passed out once while we were making love (we were both pretty intoxicated at the time) and I couldn't bring myself to keep going after that...
No, it's not the best attitude to have, but from what I've heard/seen recently it's a realistic attitude. If something is scheduled to "once or twice" it could easily end up being just the once, and if he's obviously not satisfied with it, while the Wife is, it really isn't going to change. Being told it's "ok to masturbate" is a bit strange too, like he would need permission for that. Basically she's getting what she wants, he isn't.
AreaCode707
Lifer
Next time there's a similar situation, perhaps naming a near future point where hubby can look forward to having sex (perhaps making it "extra" to the aforementioned one or two times a week) would prevent midnight awakenings.
As for right/wrong, I'd definitely say wrong. Sex should always be a consensual thing. It's gotta be hard to be in a marriage where the sexual needs of both parties differ drastically though.
As for right/wrong, I'd definitely say wrong. Sex should always be a consensual thing. It's gotta be hard to be in a marriage where the sexual needs of both parties differ drastically though.
Originally posted by: waylman
Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: Spooner
yeah, like it's a chore
I take it you do not have children, a mortgage, etc etc.
what does a mortgage have to do with sex? If you think of sex with your husband as a chore, get a divorce.
And here we have an excellent example of the attitude that has destroyed the meaning of marriage & given us our 50% divorce rate.
Viper GTS
Guys can do weird things while sleeping. Was he even awake? I have read about some men who are actually abusive in their sleep.
On another note, I know of quite a few people who say they very much enjoy waking up to their partner copulating with them. I can't really imagine calling it wrong, as in morally wrong; however, it would certainly be awkward to find another person affixed to your body as you woke up if you're not into that sort of thing 🙂
My personal opinion is that I better be left alone while sleeping. I find few things more disturbing than people doing anything to me while I'm not aware.
On another note, I know of quite a few people who say they very much enjoy waking up to their partner copulating with them. I can't really imagine calling it wrong, as in morally wrong; however, it would certainly be awkward to find another person affixed to your body as you woke up if you're not into that sort of thing 🙂
My personal opinion is that I better be left alone while sleeping. I find few things more disturbing than people doing anything to me while I'm not aware.
Originally posted by: Viper GTS
Originally posted by: waylman
Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: Spooner
yeah, like it's a chore
I take it you do not have children, a mortgage, etc etc.
what does a mortgage have to do with sex? If you think of sex with your husband as a chore, get a divorce.
And here we have an excellent example of the attitude that has destroyed the meaning of marriage & given us our 50% divorce rate.
Viper GTS
Oh? What has given us this 50% divorce rate has also liberated the woman from the proverbial role of homemaker, which included the submissive sex role for the male.
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Originally posted by: Encryptic
That's a great attitude to have. In any case, poking my wife while she was asleep would result in an immediate Bobbitting. I wouldn't want to do it anyway, because I would rather my wife was awake and actively enjoying the proceedings. She passed out once while we were making love (we were both pretty intoxicated at the time) and I couldn't bring myself to keep going after that...
No, it's not the best attitude to have, but from what I've heard/seen recently it's a realistic attitude. If something is scheduled to "once or twice" it could easily end up being just the once, and if he's obviously not satisfied with it, while the Wife is, it really isn't going to change. Being told it's "ok to masturbate" is a bit strange too, like he would need permission for that. Basically she's getting what she wants, he isn't.
He thinks masturbation is morally wrong. She doesn't think that it is.
No your hubby shouldn't bother you.
I haven't been marry, but I have had relationship that I didn't want to be in the same bed as the gf because she bother my sleep. It could mean that you both don't have enough quality time for each other?s. I?m not trying to be preachy, but it sound like your finances is causing your troubles. Maybe it is time for you 2 to look over what is important to you and what your needs, wants & what can you live with.
Good luck Isla.
SilverThief
Diamond Member
Believe me having children, jobs, mortgage, etc. defintely takes its toll on many things including your sex life.
Twice a week rocks, and thats one lucky man in my opinion!
😀
Twice a week rocks, and thats one lucky man in my opinion!
😀
Originally posted by: Isla
Originally posted by: Crimzon
Originally posted by: Encryptic
That's a great attitude to have. In any case, poking my wife while she was asleep would result in an immediate Bobbitting. I wouldn't want to do it anyway, because I would rather my wife was awake and actively enjoying the proceedings. She passed out once while we were making love (we were both pretty intoxicated at the time) and I couldn't bring myself to keep going after that...
No, it's not the best attitude to have, but from what I've heard/seen recently it's a realistic attitude. If something is scheduled to "once or twice" it could easily end up being just the once, and if he's obviously not satisfied with it, while the Wife is, it really isn't going to change. Being told it's "ok to masturbate" is a bit strange too, like he would need permission for that. Basically she's getting what she wants, he isn't.
He thinks masturbation is morally wrong. She doesn't think that it is.
Well... I gues that makes things even more convinient for her then. Just seems to me in marriage you're supposed to meet half way/concession/something and here it seems to be one sided. I still think doing something when someone says no is wrong (although a lof the guys have stated if situations were reveresed they wouldn't care). I was just trying to explain my reasoning for why I wouldn't be surprised if he did cheat. Not condoning it, just saying I'd understand it.
I've woken up to my gf doing that to me at 3-4am. Less than a week later I broke up with her. I will not tolerate being disrespected like that.
She defended herself by saying she thought I wouldn't mind. She figured every guy would like some girl to just help themselves. She also mentioned that if I was to ever do that to her, she would be outraged, because she would feel that I was raping her.
::shakes head::
She defended herself by saying she thought I wouldn't mind. She figured every guy would like some girl to just help themselves. She also mentioned that if I was to ever do that to her, she would be outraged, because she would feel that I was raping her.
::shakes head::
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