Your situation will end up getting better, I think, when you son gets a little older. In the mean time, I would resign yourself to doing 80% of the housework and put all those projects you have in mind on hold. I was getting kind of pissy about that sort of thing until I accepted the situation and made the best of it.
Does your wife know any other mothers with similar age kids? Getting together for little "play dates" with other kids really helps. The kids occupy with each other, giving mom a much needed break plus contact with other people in the same situation.
I tried that once...it didn't work my missus told me that if I don't like the way she does things(read: the way she doesn't do things) I'll have to deal with it.
sounds like your wife needs time away from the kid. if you can afford it, try a daycare center and find your wife a job. taking care of a kid all day is harder than it seems.
Believe me I know how you feel. Reminds me of a saying
Why do men die before they're wives?
because they want to.
Why do men die before they're wives?
because they want to.
bull I think he should make her pull her weight in the relationship
I'm going through a similar experience with my GF...probably even worse as I had to give up my job because I couldn't keep up with working 53hrs week and then come home to cooking, cleaning and listening to her b!tching about how I don't pay her enough attention and yet we haven't had sex in nearly 8 weeks, and things are going down hill even quicker since she got pregnant(I'm still trying to figure out that one, defective condoms and spermacide maybe?).
since I gave up work(that was her idea "it might give us more time together")I have to constantly listen to her whinge about how I'm a bum and a loser, but as soon as I mention going back to work(unemployement sucks bigtime) she bungs on the "you don't give me any attention" routine.
some how I don't anybody can make the best of misery
I'm only saying what works for me. And my wife is pulling her weight in the relationship. She's taking care of our son, who is priority number 1. I can handle a few hours of cleaning per week if it makes my wife's life easier.
Why did you get married in the first place? Why is sex the only thing that matters? If you bugs you that much got to a sex therapist.
You are saying this is not an ideal situation, "its fvcking life". Then deal with it you pussy. You knocked her up, you married her and you have to work. Boo fvcking hoo.
If it is that bad then fix it. Get off the damn internet and have a talk. Not about sex. Get some counseling.
If you don't want to do that, then get a divorce. Either way get off your ass and do something. Posting your pathetic rant about how much your life sucks even though you are the dipshit that made it that way is not going to get you anywhere.
By the way.. marriage doesnt suck. You suck at marriage because you are too considered with your dick. Jump of a cliff and die.
You are saying this is not an ideal situation, "its fvcking life". Then deal with it you pussy. You knocked her up, you married her and you have to work. Boo fvcking hoo.
If it is that bad then fix it. Get off the damn internet and have a talk. Not about sex. Get some counseling.
If you don't want to do that, then get a divorce. Either way get off your ass and do something. Posting your pathetic rant about how much your life sucks even though you are the dipshit that made it that way is not going to get you anywhere.
By the way.. marriage doesnt suck. You suck at marriage because you are too considered with your dick. Jump of a cliff and die.
My little girl is the same way. I work four days a week (10 hours a day), so one day a week, I stay home and watch her and the wife goes to work. She hangs out with me all day, laughs, plays, and behaves perfectly...but as soon as mommy walks in, she cries over little things, has "boo-boos" that need attention, etc., and seems alot more difficult to handle. Its just a mommy thing.
That sucks man.
I can't offer advice to fix all your problems, but the sex thing: she's not attracted to you at this point for some reason. Its probably not physical, but emotional. She's tired, she's depressed, she's unhappy, and she's definitely directing some of it at you. You can't expect sex to get better without her being happier. Here's a couple suggestions:
*As much as you may hate it and feel you don't have to do it, do the stupid things she wants you to do. Go to the grocery store with her. When you work outside, ask her to work with you (if possible w/kid).
*If/when things brighten up a bit with you two, take her out to a nice dinner and get a babysitter. If things are looking really good, get a hotel room for after
*Find a time when she's not actively pissed at you and sit down to have a serious talk. Say everything you've been thinking. You might not want to say the D-word, that might cause her to go into panic defense mode which will not help. But talk about it. Let both of you express your fears and concerns, talk about how to make it better, or what you can do. Saying it out loud will really help the both of you feel better towards each other.
*Once you start feeling better towards each other, you can start improving your quality of life.
I've been dating my gf for 4.5 years and she is utterly awesome, except for a few areas of our life that we irk eachother. We've been living together for almost a year; we're both full-time students, I work a lot on top of school, she doesn't respond to stress too well and her family definitely loads that on her, and now we have 3 people total & 7 animals in a 2-story 2 bedroom 1200sqft condo. Yet we're surviving pretty well despite the added stress and the fact that I'm a big horndog a lot of the time :evil:
I may only be 22, but frankly I think I've dealt with a lot of the stresses of marriage thus far. The kid aspect won't ever be an issue with us so I can't help you there, but we pretty much already treat our relationship like a marriage. We both realize that while there are a few shortcomings in our relationship, we work to make them better because chances are most other dumbasses out there to date are going to be much much worse than we are for eachother. If it gets to the point that we think otherwise, we'll talk about it. But its looking pretty damn good overall
I can't offer advice to fix all your problems, but the sex thing: she's not attracted to you at this point for some reason. Its probably not physical, but emotional. She's tired, she's depressed, she's unhappy, and she's definitely directing some of it at you. You can't expect sex to get better without her being happier. Here's a couple suggestions:
*As much as you may hate it and feel you don't have to do it, do the stupid things she wants you to do. Go to the grocery store with her. When you work outside, ask her to work with you (if possible w/kid).
*If/when things brighten up a bit with you two, take her out to a nice dinner and get a babysitter. If things are looking really good, get a hotel room for after
*Find a time when she's not actively pissed at you and sit down to have a serious talk. Say everything you've been thinking. You might not want to say the D-word, that might cause her to go into panic defense mode which will not help. But talk about it. Let both of you express your fears and concerns, talk about how to make it better, or what you can do. Saying it out loud will really help the both of you feel better towards each other.
*Once you start feeling better towards each other, you can start improving your quality of life.
I've been dating my gf for 4.5 years and she is utterly awesome, except for a few areas of our life that we irk eachother. We've been living together for almost a year; we're both full-time students, I work a lot on top of school, she doesn't respond to stress too well and her family definitely loads that on her, and now we have 3 people total & 7 animals in a 2-story 2 bedroom 1200sqft condo. Yet we're surviving pretty well despite the added stress and the fact that I'm a big horndog a lot of the time :evil:
I may only be 22, but frankly I think I've dealt with a lot of the stresses of marriage thus far. The kid aspect won't ever be an issue with us so I can't help you there, but we pretty much already treat our relationship like a marriage. We both realize that while there are a few shortcomings in our relationship, we work to make them better because chances are most other dumbasses out there to date are going to be much much worse than we are for eachother. If it gets to the point that we think otherwise, we'll talk about it. But its looking pretty damn good overall
Married for 3 and a half years, with a 2-year old little girl, here.
At times it can be tough, at times I've wished the Mrs. and I could get a little more "action" going, but at no time have I blamed it all on her or wished that I'd get cancer and die just to get out of the relationship.
Take your wife's POV into consideration. Adjust your priorities. And pray to whatever deity you believe in that your missus never sees this thread.
Something tells me your perspective would change a great deal if she packed her bags and got the hell out of Dodge.
At times it can be tough, at times I've wished the Mrs. and I could get a little more "action" going, but at no time have I blamed it all on her or wished that I'd get cancer and die just to get out of the relationship.
Take your wife's POV into consideration. Adjust your priorities. And pray to whatever deity you believe in that your missus never sees this thread.
Something tells me your perspective would change a great deal if she packed her bags and got the hell out of Dodge.
With a husband like you, you give marriage such high hopes for ever lasting love, hope, understanding, and devotion.
Get a divorce, there is someone out there much better for you for sure. It's going to suck for a while, but in the end, you'll come out a winner (just don't fight over the kid, please).
maybe you guys need Dr. Phil's "Relationship Rescue", or "Family First"... or maybe you need to record and watch the Dr Phil show. He has been doing lots of episodes on newly weds and young married couples with relationships in trouble. Seems like this is all he has been looking at this year. Also, don't listen to the negative hype about Dr. Phil - he has some very clear headed strategies for couples who are experiencing trouble.
How long have you been married???
Crimeny, you need to grow up. Get some counseling. I mean you have a child for crying out loud. You make it sound like your wife does nothing all day... I don't think so! Taking care of a child is a full time job. :|
Yes raising a child is a full time job, some women do it better than others. I stayed at home, raised my daughter, and worked at home too. My house wasn't trashed. I did my shopping during the day time, I hated shopping at night. She went with me, I prepared her, so I wouldn't have a screaming brat going into the store. What I did worked for me.
You guys, will someday, need to talk, not to the board. It will all come out someday. Hope you two can work it out. Kids do cut into a marriage, it's how you handle it together, will decide how deep the issues go.
You must either be a newlywed, completely "modernized" (ie, feminized and pussy-whipped), or not know any married women beside your wife (who fortunately sounds like one of the easier ones to live with). But don't act like its not a COMMON fvcking fact that ALOT of women act one way before they get married (sex all the time) to make the man think marriage will be great, and then change their tune as soon as the deal is sealed, when the sex dries right up. And "you are too considered with your dick"? You sound just like some women I know, trying to make their husband feel guilty for wanting to have sex with his wife on a regular basis, instead of just cheating on her like 75% of other men. One of the main reasons for most men to marry the woman they love is to have regular sex with her, and why is that so wrong? She liked it BEFORE marriage, so why not AFTER? Because it was a fvcking act, that's why.
Now I'm not implying that some men don't do the same thing (like hide the fact that they're heavy drinkers before the marriage), but if you've never heard this story before, you've been living in a bubble. Go ask a marriage counselor if I'm full of sh*t, and I promise you'll be surprised.
Of course I have heard this many times before. Take your useless assumptions somewhere else.
The fact it appears as an act is the problem. Have a damn partnership. Not a lets-fvck-all-the-time-ship. Obviously they have never had communication because if they did. This would not be happening. Even so...
So what if she doesn't want to have sex. Get a fvcking hobby. Go do something. Go out and do things together. Have a relationship that doesnt revolve around sex and complaining about one another.
You should feel guilty for wanting to have sex all the time. Obviously they aren't very responsible with sex, because from the sounds of it they didn't want to have a kid. Sex is great, but at some point your 24/7 need for it should go away. Sex is not the end all be all. If it is don't get married.
Cheating because of sex. Again, if sex is the only thing your wife can offer you and you need to go cheat to get it. You should not be married. NO excuse.
I am in no way shape or form, pussy whipped. Feminized, sure, i dont think women should be treated like objects. So yeah I guess so.
it's pretty obvious that you have never had any contact with a member of the oposite sex...if he just went and got a hobbie, is wife would then play the "you don't give me enough attention" or "you spend to much time on your hobbie" card and it would get worse....I know when my GF stopped being interested in sex a few months ago..I was dissapointed but I figured it would give me more time to wrok on my car(since she wont let me go back to work)..boy wasn't I wrong, now I'm the inconsiderate pr!ck for wanting to wrok on my car or play my computer, instead of waiting on her.
when it comes to women you can't win either way, and talking to them tends to make matters worse, dispite what you and Dr Phil say.
Does it make you feel good thinking I have never had any contact with the opposite sex?
If you are going to pick a woman that plays games with you, shame on you. I will not take that sort of ****** just to get some sex.
Balance. You need to have your own seperate things. Your own career. Your own life. What makes it work is when you have a healthy balance between your own worlds.
When it comes to women, you can win. Pick someone you are happy with. Think. Use your head. At some point before you got married, you had a moment (maybe a few) when you decided you were unhappy. Why not go with that? Why stick around? Oh I know, you are like 16 yr old boys who can't control their dicks.
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