Ramblings of a psychopath.

[Sulaco]

This is all utter and complete bullshit. People are so easily trolled these days.

 

[WelshBloke]

Reading this chilled me to the bone. The lack of self control, the fury and rage, and the lack of emotion.... left me floored and frightened. This person walks the streets. I hope the OP finds the help they need, and some peace from all of that inner turmoil.

Meh.

He'll either end up shot or permanently locked up and forgotten. Don't worry about him.

 

[brianmanahan]

2 words: abilify

(and haplogroup)

 

[Chaosblade02]

Meh.

He'll either end up shot or permanently locked up and forgotten.

Part of me wishes that cop would have just shot me dead instead of tazing me.

 

[William Gaatjes]

What are the doses of these medicine you are taking ?

Seroquel
Risperdal
Wellbutrin
Buspirone
Lexapro

How many mg for each ?


Edit :
You mentioned that your mother has it as well. Seems to me that the authority that your parents had over you when you were a child did not go well. Especially if one or both parents have a similar disorder.

 

[Chaosblade02]

What are the doses of these medicine you are taking ?

Seroquel - 25mg x2/day
Risperdal - 2mg x2/day
Wellbutrin - 300mg XL x1/day
Buspirone - 10mg x2/day
Lexapro - 20mg x1/day

How many mg for each ?


Edit :
You mentioned that your mother has it as well. Seems to me that the authority that your parents had over you when you were a child did not go well. Especially if one or both parents have a similar disorder.

I was a juvenile delinquent. I got expelled 3 times. Suspended more times than I can remember.

 

[brianmanahan]

maybe you should, just, you know

behave

 

[William Gaatjes]

You do have to take a lot of medicines. Those medicines do flatten your emotional state. That you do not feel much or care much can also be an amplified effect because of the medicines.

It was proposed once that i had to take risperdal but declined. I am on Olanzapine myself. But have been lowering the dose in to the lowest possible to 2.5mg. Of course in agreement with my psychologist. But i am doing so well, that i no longer need any psychologist and am hoping that i in time can stop with the use of olanzapine. It helps me relax and sleep and i need to sleep to stay focused on what is important for me. I had a psychosis once with a lot of anger/rage and auditive hallucinations. But that is all in the past. Maybe the olanzapine works for you too. You can ask for it. It has less side effects then risperdal. And abilify is weird stuff. I got a lot of energy from it in the short period i took it. But i did not sleep any more and my mental state worsened because of the abilify.

 

[William Gaatjes]

I do have to say that olanzapine is used for people with autism as well. Works relaxing.

 

[Chaosblade02]

You do have to take a lot of medicines. Those medicines do flatten your emotional state. That you do not feel much or care much can also be an amplified effect because of the medicines.

This is true. But I always had difficulties with emotions even off the meds. The only emotion I feel like my brain completely understands is anger.
Like right now, its 1:22pm and I still feel groggy even though I had 7 hours of sleep. If I had to get up and work today, I just couldn't have done it due to my energy levels. Even outside my psychotic fits, I'm still not capable of being a functioning adult. Once I started taking Risperdal and Seroquel both, I noticed that sometimes I have a delayed emotional reaction to certain things that might have set me off before. Something as simple as dropping and spilling a bowl of cereal used to fire me up instantly. Almost like those medicines cause lag in the emotional receptors in my brain. Just risperdal, or just seroquel didn't have that effect. So the combination of those 2, for me at least is a better mood stabilizer.

 

[Ruptga]

This is all utter and complete bullshit. People are so easily trolled these days.

As opposed to when? Nothing new is going on here.

 

[notposting]

I doubt that...

Jesus didn't say he had a problem with straitjackets or lithium. Just don't sell them in the Temple.

 

[Chaosblade02]

Jesus didn't say he had a problem with straitjackets or lithium. Just don't sell them in the Temple.

Most of those temple people are crazier than I am and probably need them both. I think history agrees with me.

 

[notposting]

More bullshit. Show us a picture of your fat ass or STFU. It's little weasels like you that always pretend to be tough guys.

I was thinking something like this:
http://pics.bbzzdd.com/users/viedit/alkemyst.jpg

Was looking for a regular one but that one fits this thread perfectly.

 

[William Gaatjes]

This is true. But I always had difficulties with emotions even off the meds. The only emotion I feel like my brain completely understands is anger.
Like right now, its 1:22pm and I still feel groggy even though I had 7 hours of sleep. If I had to get up and work today, I just couldn't have done it due to my energy levels. Even outside my psychotic fits, I'm still not capable of being a functioning adult. Once I started taking Risperdal and Seroquel both, I noticed that sometimes I have a delayed emotional reaction to certain things that might have set me off before. Something as simple as dropping and spilling a bowl of cereal used to fire me up instantly. Almost like those medicines cause lag in the emotional receptors in my brain. Just risperdal, or just seroquel didn't have that effect. So the combination of those 2, for me at least is a better mood stabilizer.

Where does your anger come from ?
I do get the impression that you dwell in it. I get the feeling that you think that it is empowering you. As if it is the only thing you have. Better if you get a different view about yourself. The dark side takes more then it gives until you have nothing left.
Have you ever been tested for autism ?

 

[Exophase]

That dose of seroquel sounds negligibly small. I'm surprised to hear they even bother with that much.

Then again, I accidentally took 100 mg of it the other day (I asked for melatonin from my girlfriend and she thought this was it because she was confused about recent color changes) and I was still feeling really drowsy over half a day later :/

 

[Charmonium]

That dose of seroquel sounds negligibly small. I'm surprised to hear they even bother with that much.

It's the smallest dose they make. http://www.rxlist.com/seroquel-drug/indications-dosage.htm

Have you ever been tested for autism ?

We have a winner.

 

[QueBert]

More bullshit. Show us a picture of your fat ass or STFU. It's little weasels like you that always pretend to be tough guys.

If OP's really 6'4 280 he doesn't have to be a legit tough guy to be a tough guy. My Bro In Law's about that size. He's not strong for someone that big, but from his size alone he's still a lot stronger than most. Not even being some elite fighter he can easily handle most people if it came down to it. OP might be a 120lb scrawny wimp, but if you're a certain size you become sort of the king of the hill by default. I'm 200lbs and my bro in law can rag doll me when we're wrestling.

 

[Chaosblade02]

Have you ever been tested for autism ?

Yes, and we've eliminated that years ago.

 

[Chaosblade02]

I was thinking something like this:
http://pics.bbzzdd.com/users/viedit/alkemyst.jpg

Was looking for a regular one but that one fits this thread perfectly.

My new avatar! :biggrin:

That dose of seroquel sounds negligibly small. I'm surprised to hear they even bother with that much.

That's 50mg per day. I take 25mg every 12 hours.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

You're trying to manipulate me into a meltdown and its not gonna work.

I'll tell you what char, come up with the fattest, ugliest person you can find, and I'll use that as my avatar for 24 hours just to prove I don't give a shit about what you or anyone else thinks.

he did it!

 

[TheVrolok]

This is all utter and complete bullshit. People are so easily trolled these days.

Yep. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for the first few posts, but at this point it's incredibly obvious he's just a troll. Honestly, mods should lock this shit thread which is really just undermining discussion on real mental health issues.

 

[emperus]

I can't take a picture with an AT&T go phone.

The reason I use one of these because they're relatively cheap to replace. I forgot to add phones to my casualty list, but I've demolished over a dozen. I have no way of taking a picture or I'd post one.

Huh? Your 30 and don't have one digital picture of yourself? Aight Buddy. Bullshit!

 

[Chaosblade02]

Huh? You 30 and don't have one digital picture of yourself? Aight Buddy. Bullshit!

I might be a psycho and a grade A asshole, but I'm not a narcissist. Is it really that weird to not have pictures of myself on my PC? I've always assumed the opposite was weird. About the only pictures I got on my PC is porn.

 

[Exophase]

That's 50mg per day. I take 25mg every 12 hours.

Yeah, I got that. My girlfriend is currently on 700mg. Don't ask me about the times she's overdosed.