Question about a restraining order...

[hzl eyed grl]

Another update...

My mom has been calling different places. She found out that we probably qualify for help from housing. The only thing is we need to get a referral from someone. (Like a case worker.) I think my mom is going to have to stay overnight at a shelter to get to talk to a worker there and get a referral. I would go too, but I don't want to leave the house with all our things in it.

She also called the court house to ask about an anullment. I think she qualifies for a fee waiver so she doesn't have to pay for it. We're going to go to the store to buy some security chains to put on all the doors and we're going to get a lock to lock the back gate. Hopefully, he won't come back until we can get things settled and have our restraining order.

 

[hzl eyed grl]

I don't want to start other threads, that's why I keep adding things to here.

Thank you very much Adul and PG for your help. It means a lot.

My mom and I just bought security chains for all of the ouside doors in our house. (Which I'll install after I eat dinner.) We also bought a padlock for our gate and a couple other locks. We are going to rent a storage unit. My mom and I used to have one up till a few months back. We don't need quite as big of a storage unit as we had before. The woman that owns the place remembered us and gave us a $5.00 break. We're going to try and get all of our stuff out of here and either go to a shelter or something so he doesn't know where we are.

Thank you, everyone, for all your support.

 

[Mustangrrl]

Hey dollface, you already know I've got your back, but I just wanted to reiterate that fact.

Be safe *hug*
~robyn

 

[hzl eyed grl]

Originally posted by: Mustangrrl
Hey dollface, you already know I've got your back, but I just wanted to reiterate that fact.

Be safe *hug*
~robyn

You are one of the best friends someone can have. I always feel so much better after I talk to you. (She's a great person to talk on the phone with and tell all your troubles to.) heehee *HUG*

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

How are you two today? Any news?

 

[Noriaki]

Damn.

Somebody (me) missed the news

I'm so sorry to hear about all that crap Heather. You have my best wishes, be careful and be safe. I hope you work it out.

Lots of love, Jon.

 

[hzl eyed grl]

Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
How are you two today? Any news?

My mom talked with a woman today and she said that she has enough to get the restraining order. I'm not sure when we'll be able to get it, but at least we know we'll be able to. We're going to get a storage unit today and start moving our stuff out. He still hasn't shown up and he hasn't called so we're just waiting. Bob Vila better watch out because I installed all those safety chains with no problem and used my step-dad's drill. Heehee We don't want to leave the house without one of us here now, so I asked my mom to ask my grandmother if she would go look for boxes. We're still trying to work on housing. The Housing Authority said that we qualify for help, but we need a referral...so we're trying to find someone that can refer us.

08/13/2002 9:12 AM (NEW!)



Damn.

Somebody (me) missed the news

I'm so sorry to hear about all that crap Heather. You have my best wishes, be careful and be safe. I hope you work it out.

Lots of love, Jon.

It's okay, Jon, I still love you. Heehee

Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts and concern.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Don't you have friends in the neighbourhood who will help you move the stuff but won't tell him anything? That way you could get moving much faster.

 

[Hammer]

good luck and watch yourself

 

[hzl eyed grl]

Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
Don't you have friends in the neighbourhood who will help you move the stuff but won't tell him anything? That way you could get moving much faster.

We have family around here, but they're all busy and I don't know if they'll be able to help or not. (You have to know my family. *Sigh*)

I'll keep updating this as I find out more information. I may, however, have to take out my computer pretty soon in case he comes so I may not have access. In that case, I can get in contact with either Xerox Man or Mustangrrl and they can update for me.

 

[KouklatheCat]

If someone hasnt suggested it, try WEAVE (Women Escaping A Violent Environment). They are all over CA. I can probably dig up a 1-800 number or a number in Sacramento, Ca (which is where I am) if that will help.

 

[hzl eyed grl]

Originally posted by: KouklatheCat
If someone hasnt suggested it, try WEAVE (Women Escaping A Violent Environment). They are all over CA. I can probably dig up a 1-800 number or a number in Sacramento, Ca (which is where I am) if that will help.

I'll tell my mom about it. We just got back home. The paperwork was typed for her for the restraining order and we took it to the courthouse. The woman said that the only trouble might be that because he didn't do something like give her a black eye or knock her down or something......the judge might not grant it. Although he did threaten her that if she ever left, he'd kill her. So, I guess we'll know tomorrow morning if we got it or not. Meanwhile, I got the storage space today and a TON of boxes. We're going to try to be completely out of here before he gets back.

 

[Azraele]

If you don't feel like answering, dont. Truly it's none of my business, but I was curious, you keep saying "when he gets back." Where did he go?

Hang in there.

 

[ThunderGirl]

Contact the victim advocate person for your city. They can give you the referral you need same day. They work directly w/ the housing authority.

 

[UNCjigga]

If he's going to be gone for the same number of days it takes to clear before buying a handgun in California, then I'd say GET OUT NOW

 

[hzl eyed grl]

Originally posted by: Azraele
If you don't feel like answering, dont. Truly it's none of my business, but I was curious, you keep saying "when he gets back." Where did he go?

Hang in there.

He and my mother left to go to a family reunion for him. That's when everything happened. They rented a car to go. (He actually made them take all their money, didn't pay any bills or anything...so now my mom is broke.) My mom wanted to leave, but he wouldn't let her. She finally was able to leave and she left him and his son at the park and drove the car home. She didn't leave him without a way, though. All his family was there and she left him money to rent a car.

Contact the victim advocate person for your city. They can give you the referral you need same day. They work directly w/ the housing authority.

I shall tell her that.

If he's going to be gone for the same number of days it takes to clear before buying a handgun in California, then I'd say GET OUT NOW

He's a felon. He wouldn't be able to get one. (Unless he got one illegally.)

 

[hzlsmom]

Well I hope the Judge signs the order.
I have lost my rose colored glasses I was looking through.
:frown:

 

[hzl eyed grl]

Originally posted by: hzlsmom
Well I hope the Judge signs the order.
I have lost my rose colored glasses I was looking through.
:frown:

Hi mom! (She's posting from her room and I in mine. heehee)

 

[hzlsmom]

I thought I had it right the first time around and this second is very hard. I thought it was forever.

 

[p0ntif]

Originally posted by: hzlsmom
I thought I had it right the first time around and this second is very hard. I thought it was forever.

It's a shame when life keeps throwing you curveballs. I'm sorry to hear about this unfortunate chain of events. Good luck to the both of you. Sometimes people in general just can't be trusted

But hey, keep your chins up, you'll adapt and overcome. We have faith in you, and this community will support you if you need it

 

[Mustangrrl]

Originally posted by: hzl_eyed_grl

Originally posted by: Mustangrrl
Hey dollface, you already know I've got your back, but I just wanted to reiterate that fact.

Be safe *hug*
~robyn

You are one of the best friends someone can have. I always feel so much better after I talk to you. (She's a great person to talk on the phone with and tell all your troubles to.) heehee *HUG*

Yeah, so everyone PM me their phone numbers, especially if you're hot.
~robyn

 

[hzlsmom]

Thanks p0ntif: I appreciate it so does grinchy. If only we had met more of the good guys.

 

[ThunderGirl]

I hope you are in contact w/ some kind of support group or counselors that can help give you local emotional support as well.

I am sure the housing things will all fall in place you have taken all the right steps. You are in my prayers both of you.

Things have to get better sooner or later. That is what I tell myself. For all the heck you are going through should be a big reward heading your way.

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

Originally posted by: hzl_eyed_grl

Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
Don't you have friends in the neighbourhood who will help you move the stuff but won't tell him anything? That way you could get moving much faster.

We have family around here, but they're all busy and I don't know if they'll be able to help or not. (You have to know my family. *Sigh*)

I'll keep updating this as I find out more information. I may, however, have to take out my computer pretty soon in case he comes so I may not have access. In that case, I can get in contact with either Xerox Man or Mustangrrl and they can update for me.

The reason I said friends rather than family is cause sometimes family knows him reasonably well, doesn't believe he is that bad, and may talk to him later on (or try to). If they know the situation they won't, or else if you have friends who don't know him they won't likely talk to him (and he doesn't know them either, so he can't ask them). Make sure your whole family knows about the situation, or at least those who know where you go. That way he can't inquire 'innocently' where you are at the moment.

P.S. Wanna be nasty? Take all the toilet paper with you

Edit: _reasonably_ well, if they knew him well enough they'd know what he was like in the first place

 

[KouklatheCat]

Hzl,

California Penal Code 422 (Terrorist Threats) might be some good reading.

422. Any person who willfully threatens to commit a crime which
will result in death or great bodily injury to another person, with
the specific intent that the statement, made verbally, in writing, or
by means of an electronic communication device, is to be taken as a
threat, even if there is no intent of actually carrying it out,
which, on its face and under the circumstances in which it is made,
is so unequivocal, unconditional, immediate, and specific as to
convey to the person threatened, a gravity of purpose and an
immediate prospect of execution of the threat, and thereby causes
that person reasonably to be in sustained fear for his or her own
safety or for his or her immediate family's safety, shall be punished
by imprisonment in the county jail not to exceed one year, or by
imprisonment in the state prison.
For the purposes of this section, "immediate family" means any
spouse, whether by marriage or not, parent, child, any person related
by consanguinity or affinity within the second degree, or any other
person who regularly resides in the household, or who, within the
prior six months, regularly resided in the household.
"Electronic communication device" includes, but is not limited to,
telephones, cellular telephones, computers, video recorders, fax
machines, or pagers. "Electronic communication" has the same meaning
as the term defined in Subsection 12 of Section 2510 of Title 18 of
the United States Code.