Question about a restraining order...

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XMan

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
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Originally posted by: GirlFriday
You can know someone for years, and still not know them until you live with them for a while. It's easy to hide what you are, when you aren't with others 24/7.

Good luck to you and your mom Heather, I know how hard it is when you see someone you love being scared/hurt by someone who claimed to love them. :(

Amen to that.

If you don't have anything to offer to the thread, werk, why don't you just move along?
 

T2T III

Lifer
Oct 9, 1999
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Sorry to hear about the situation that you and your mother are in. It sounds like you're getting everything in order and things will soon be fine for the two of you. My mother-in-law had a similar situation a few years back - - things were fine during the courtship. However, after the wedding, things really changed ... for the worst. In your situation, the good thing is that you and your mother realized the issues early enough - and are able to get out before any real damage could start happening.
 

PsychoAndy

Lifer
Dec 31, 2000
10,735
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Originally posted by: wQuay
If it's that serious, maybe one of you should own a gun, just in case?

Its california. If she's lucky, the waiting period will be over 3 days after she needs it.

-PAB
 

hzl eyed grl

Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
Dec 28, 1999
13,107
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My step-dad just called a few hours ago and said that he'd be back in the next few days. He said that we better have our sh!t out of here and we better be out of here because he's staying here. My mom is on the lease just like he is, so he can't chase her out. We just want him to stay away until we can find somewhere to go. He can have the damn house. My mom and I can't afford the rent on our own. She just got off the phone with a hotline and they have access to the battered women's shelters around here. She told them what was going on and they said one place was full, but gave her the number for another one. She's waiting a minute to calm down and then she's going to call. I have no idea if he'll do anything or not. Chances are that he won't, but we really don't know that. He's been VERY aggressive with her in the past and I have no idea what he's capable of.
 

amdskip

Lifer
Jan 6, 2001
22,530
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Might I suggest getting the cops involved. Sounds too risky for me and I wouldn't hesitate to call them for yours and your moms personal protection.
 

OS

Lifer
Oct 11, 1999
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If you don't mind me asking, didn't your mom just get married over the past year or so? Things went downhill that fast huh? :( Sorry to hear.

 

hzl eyed grl

Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
Dec 28, 1999
13,107
67
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Originally posted by: OuterSquare
If you don't mind me asking, didn't your mom just get married over the past year or so? Things went downhill that fast huh? :( Sorry to hear.

Oh sorry, someone asked that earlier. My mom and he got married this March. :( They've been fighting for a while now. :(

Might I suggest getting the cops involved. Sounds too risky for me and I wouldn't hesitate to call them for yours and your moms personal protection.
I have no problem with calling the police. I think the people at the battered women's shelter will help my mom with getting a restraining order so if he comes, I'll certainly call.
 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Heather,

She needs a restraining order ASAP... getting out of there by the 1st is also not realistic as it doesn't give you much time to look,let alone pack ans move. The judge will most likely order him to not only stay away but to also pay his half of the rent there till this is all settled in court and the permnant restraining order granted
 

hzl eyed grl

Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
Dec 28, 1999
13,107
67
91
Originally posted by: baffled2
Heather,

She needs a restraining order ASAP... getting out of there by the 1st is also not realistic as it doesn't give you much time to look,let alone pack ans move. The judge will most likely order him to not only stay away but to also pay his half of the rent there till this is all settled in court and the permnant restraining order granted

I'll tell her, Jean. She had like an anxiety attack after talking to the last place... Both of us keep crying. I just feel so fricking overwhelmed. :(

 

Geekbabe

Moderator Emeritus<br>Elite Member
Oct 16, 1999
32,229
2,539
126
www.theshoppinqueen.com
Originally posted by: hzl_eyed_grl
Originally posted by: baffled2
Heather,

She needs a restraining order ASAP... getting out of there by the 1st is also not realistic as it doesn't give you much time to look,let alone pack ans move. The judge will most likely order him to not only stay away but to also pay his half of the rent there till this is all settled in court and the permnant restraining order granted

I'll tell her, Jean. She had like an anxiety attack after talking to the last place... Both of us keep crying. I just feel so fricking overwhelmed. :(



If this is the kind of dude whom a restraining order will not stop, a shelter may be the safest place for her,however,if he has a professional job etc that he doesn't wish to lose a restraining order might well do the trick and will hopefully allow your mom enough breathing room to figure out her next move and find a less frightening housing option than a shelter among strangers.

Btw,check your pm,you are always welcome here in Boston Heather, you know I'll make room for you and the most threatening thing here is a 20 pound cat whom we refer to as "the lap fungus" :)
 

Skyclad1uhm1

Lifer
Aug 10, 2001
11,383
87
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Don't know if you're legally allowed to do this, but if the appartment/house is in your name, can't you hire a small depot somewhere to move your stuff to, and immediately cancel rent on the house? He'll return in an empty house and will get kicked out too then :)

Good luck to you both, and do get the cops involved.
 

hzl eyed grl

Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
Dec 28, 1999
13,107
67
91
Btw,check your pm,you are always welcome here in Boston Heather, you know I'll make room for you and the most threatening thing here is a 20 pound cat whom we refer to as "the lap fungus"
You're so sweet, Jean. :) *HUG*

Don't know if you're legally allowed to do this, but if the appartment/house is in your name, can't you hire a small depot somewhere to move your stuff to, and immediately cancel rent on the house? He'll return in an empty house and will get kicked out too then

Good luck to you both, and do get the cops involved.
We're going to try and get a storage unit so we can put our stuff in it. We can't get it all moved in like a day though. So....he'll have to wait.
 

Skyclad1uhm1

Lifer
Aug 10, 2001
11,383
87
91
Originally posted by: baffled2

Btw,check your pm,you are always welcome here in Boston Heather, you know I'll make room for you and the most threatening thing here is a 20 pound cat whom we refer to as "the lap fungus" :)

Thought about offering that too, but I don't know whether she'd have the money for a plane ticket to the Netherlands, not to mention all the problems that would give :/

Should be more people around who can help out with this.


P.S. How about giving this a sticky, so we can make sure it turns out allright?
 

hzl eyed grl

Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
Dec 28, 1999
13,107
67
91
Originally posted by: Skyclad1uhm1
Originally posted by: baffled2

Btw,check your pm,you are always welcome here in Boston Heather, you know I'll make room for you and the most threatening thing here is a 20 pound cat whom we refer to as "the lap fungus" :)

Thought about offering that too, but I don't know whether she'd have the money for a plane ticket to the Netherlands, not to mention all the problems that would give :/

Should be more people around who can help out with this.


P.S. How about giving this a sticky, so we can make sure it turns out allright?
That's really sweet. I think the Netherlands might be far enough away from him, but the plane tickets might be a problem. heehee :)

 

PG

Diamond Member
Oct 25, 1999
3,426
44
91
I'd try to help, but I'm to far away. :(

hzl, do you have paypal account or something like that? Maybe we could help out that way.




 

hzl eyed grl

Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
Dec 28, 1999
13,107
67
91
Originally posted by: PG
I'd try to help, but I'm to far away. :(

hzl, do you have paypal account or something like that? Maybe we could help out that way.

Yes, I have a PayPal account. I appreciate all the help everyone has given us. We're leaving right now to go fill out the paperwork for a restraining order and I wanted to keep you all updated. Talk to you in a while.
 

XCLAN

Platinum Member
Mar 22, 2001
2,401
0
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I live in california....gimmee his address and a pic and i will rough him up for ya! :)

all seriousness im sorry bout yer situation. I wish you good luck hun!
 

hzl eyed grl

Super Moderator<br>Elite Member
Dec 28, 1999
13,107
67
91
Originally posted by: XCLAN
I live in california....gimmee his address and a pic and i will rough him up for ya! :)

all seriousness im sorry bout yer situation. I wish you good luck hun!
Eh, I don't like violence, but thanks for the offer. ;) lol

Well, we just got back. My mom filled out the paperwork for a temporary restraining order and she's going to be making more calls about housing and stuff. Keep your fingers crossed.